I had a moment of weakness, but I wasn't feeling weak at the time. I felt great, went out for a walk and contemplated whether to spend my last 20 dollars on food or a pint of whiskey and a pack of smokes. I began to talk to myself as if I were two people, one with a voice of reason and one with a body that was set out to acquire the poison, no matter the words of reason. I laughed at the idea of trying to stop me, and so I continued.
I was nearly two weeks sober and smoke free. I was filled with energy and hope, proud of myself for my accomplishments. Today, I don't feel so proud. It's not a disappointment that I'm feeling, but an utter lack of energy and a deep seeded sadness. I feel like now would be a good time for a hug, so I'll hug myself. I'll forgive myself, allowing myself to feel vulnerable enough to accept myself for any mistakes I may have made, and trust myself to move on from this. Hell, I may even shed a tear.
It's time to move on from self deprecation, it's never gotten me anywhere in this world except closed off and miserable. I've spent so many years convincing myself I'm mental, or not worth it. It's time I choose to let that go and shift the energy my being emanates to harmonize with love and understanding.
I'm going to make mistakes, I'm only human.. and that's okay.
Congratulations @keithperreault! You have completed some achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
Click on any badge to view your own Board of Honor on SteemitBoard.
For more information about SteemitBoard, click here
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPI feel like we are often just stumbling around making mistakes haha, sometimes they turn out well and othertimes not. Fate, chance, free will.
Its pretty awesome that you are being vunurable and open for change, thanks for sharing Keith! Lets all be awesome this year together and get shit done for real!
Also, have you seen dirk gently?
Congratulations @keithperreault! You received a personal award!
Click here to view your Board
Congratulations @keithperreault! You received a personal award!
You can view your badges on your Steem Board and compare to others on the Steem Ranking
Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness to get one more award and increased upvotes!