Absentee husbands on the Increase!

in #life7 years ago (edited)

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In Africa, Asia , South America and even in developed countries, it is evident these days that so many ladies are married to mainly their kids and not their hubbies. The bond that is meant to exist among couples are been transferred to children because the man is never around as such most men are ceremonial husbands and never around. Their wives hardly feel their warmth, love and presence at home. They just answer married men but in reality are always absent in their homes.

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Many men abandon their families because of the love of tighter vaginas and perky breasts. Some other men run around town with friends and no thanks to the start of new football/soccer season in Europe and other sporting activities in North America and Asia, many men gives reason of lateness due to work load but instead go hanging out with friend in bars , watching their favorite teams play as such stay out of home until it’s midnight before they crawl back to snore away beside their hurting wives.

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Most times when these hurting women tend to start a conversation, they are met with cold eyes, unwelcome replies and more emotional disconnections that further cut their hurting hearts to bits.

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Many African & Asian women are married in public but in private are single mums since they are sharing their homes with absentee husbands who prefer to come home just to sleep, wake up early morning and rush out. Absentee husbands are always on the move. They know how to be absent at home and can win awards for being ceremonial husbands as such, their women enjoys nothing being married to them.

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These absentee husbands knows nothing about their home, their wives well being, when she is happy or sad, sick or healthy, when she has issues at place of work, when she needs his love & affection, when she needs him to be a father to their kids. These men that are always absent from home knows nothing about their women’s dress size, shoe size, not to talk of her bra and pant sizes! (These ones are out of it completely). They don’t even know when their woman is enjoying sex under them or crying because she is in pain from their sexual brutality. Some women even just to make their man happy acts as if they are enjoying sex with him during the painful encounter!.

When asked their wives favorite perfume, they will start scratching their heads since they have no clue...as they cannot even remember when last they took her out or even bought her something that put smiles on her face, yet these same men sees themselves as married men! If you fit in the above description, you should hide yourself in shame! This is why you should not blame some women who transfer all their love to their children.

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They do these because they want to feel loved and since they lack the affection and love they were supposed to have gotten from their hobbies they had to get it from their children. When I see a man that keeps complaining about his wife focusing too much on their children, I laugh and usually tempted to ask him what he was busy doing leading to the wife to get to the stage of transferring her love to their kids! Wonder how on earth he was unable to notice that she was gradually slipping away from him emotionally till the level of pouring all her love to her children!

Men, it is time to wake up! This period is a very dangerous time to be absent from your home and duties as a married man. If you have the insinuation that you cannot be replaced by a good looking, sexy and better built smooth talking guy that knows how to thrill your woman better, think again as things are happening! Although society (especially in developing countries) tends to support and protects men’s excesses against women, things are changing fast, so wake up to your duties!

Wives that are married to absentee husbands that visits their homes but never stays are always lonely, feels abandoned and as such sad. Some of the women do not even know what else to do to get their husbands attention and as such have lost hope in having a fun filled marital relationship with their husbands.

Those men who use excuses of work and business trips to stay away from their wives and rather be with younger ladies needs to understand that one of the quickest ways to destroy your marriage is to leave your wife alone for too long. It’s bad enough that you get home late and still will not engage your wife, the mother of your children in any conversation to know how her day went or what happened at home in your absence. Instead, you prefer to engage in watching football matches, playing games and watching late night movies.

Men, stop hurting your wives with always being absent from your home and marital duties. One of the most miserable experiences for a wife is that feeling of isolation when her husband is never around. She may have friends, relatives and a job to engage herself with plus taking care of kids but it’s not the same as having her hubby around. Her desire is to spend time with you, the man she loves. That very man who chased after her and won her love and affection with beautiful gifts and words before they got married...

Remember that family always comes first. In raising kids, women should not be left alone. woman-alone with kids.jpg

There is always that positive effect of a father figure. This reminds me of some great steemains worthy of emulation and my mention like @papa-pepper who stresses on one of his numerous posts about a family man ...In his own remark, ”a family that works together gets a lot done”! @papa-pepper displays a strong family values and shows us how a father needs to always be around family especially to his little-peppers. Little wonder @mama-pepper is always looking radiant and @grandpa-pepper is proud of having him as a son... Also @quinneaker who always travels anywhere with family and shows great attention to the affairs of his lovely little kids. This men are always around their wives, watch them give birth to their lovely kids and are active in guarding them to positive part of growth. This goes to show that there are a lot of good husbands out there. Keep it up guys!

It is worthy of note to point out that if a wife is left alone by her husband, it causes deep heartache for women. When she feels abandoned by you, she gets depressed after a while, fed up & as such, she attacks back with hurtful and disrespectful behavior. If Her ability to verbally hurt you is her strong weapon, and she uses it out of fear in an effort to try to get your attention.

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I even wonder in the first place why your wife should even be fighting for your attention. Why did you marry her then?

Note this:- Everything you give a woman, she incubates and gives you better...In the words of ― Erick S. Gray “Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby, If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit!”

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When a wife starts to complain because you never spend time at home, never takes her out, and never engage with your own kids, chances are she is feeling abandoned and isolated. When you stop spending time together, the emotional distance between you two grows very fast.this is not a good relationship at all. Most husbands need to work on their marriages as it is not only the duty of a woman alone to keep a marriage intact. More so, marrying a woman is not an avenue to do whatever you want simply because you are a man, if you do not see the need of meeting up your marital status and being present with your family at home, then remain single, a woman is not a beast of burden nor is she a robot who should keep taking your misconducts.

Life is already stressful enough for you to add to your wife’s stress by being an absentee husband. Now is time to change that your bad attitude and always be physically present to enjoy your wife and family otherwise, someone else will! A word is enough for the wise…
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Finally, if you are among the absentee husbands, take a bold step and change, then go to your wife and children and say that magic word- " Sorry" ensure you mean it! Wishing you a fun filled sweet home...

Nb: Read my earlier posts on family versus office and other inspirational and health posts in my blog. Follow for more and do not forget to Resteem so it can reach so many families. Do not forget to support with your upvotes & send in your comments about what you think is the reason for the rise in absentee husbands & proffer solution about it.

Sources: Kate Halim: Ceremonial husbands on the rise

Source link: http://sunnewsonline.com/ceremonial-husbands-on-the-rise/

Good reads Quotes
source link: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/209983-whatever-you-give-a-woman-she-will-make-greater-if

Image sources: Google

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This is a well written article and unfortunately many of these things do happen in homes around the world. I only wish that people will love their family more which will lead to more happy children. Upvoted and thanks for sharing

always welcome @charles1
you are correct... these things do happen in many homes and wish it changes or improves!

Good point

there are many countries where marriage is only comitment not a relations of love only thier parents comited thier life and mostly this problem occur with girls in asia and africa..but some keep pressure on her husbands and they to others ladies to some relaxation...this is also wrong keep happy boths wife and husbands and make a good love in boths life

very right @shencoin
thanks for the comment and support!

@kenhudoy got you a $1.76 @minnowbooster upgoat, nice!
@kenhudoy got you a $1.76 @minnowbooster upgoat, nice! (Image: pixabay.com)


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Helpfull. am also new here kindly check my introduction post. thanx https://steemit.com/steemians/@bigjames/hi-steemians-i-want-to-start-by-introducing-my-self-first

never said am new mate... and its wrong to send links in other peoples posts... however will check since you new...

Absentee husbands and spoiled, self-centered wives... these two groups seem to enjoy contributing to a healthy divorce rate..

my very own @foodie.warrior
very correct... later on..i shall write on spoilt wives... for now...lets face the men!
thanks for the comment... !

This post has received a 3.78 % upvote from @bellyrub thanks to: @kenhudoy.

@kenhudoy, fantastic post! It's very well written regarding a tough topic...

thanks ma'am... i appreciate

This post has received a 14.82 % upvote from @booster thanks to: @kenhudoy.

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This post has received a 15.00 % upvote from @lovejuice thanks to: @kenhudoy. They have officially sprayed their dank amps all over your post rewards. GOOD TIMES! Vote for Aggroed!

hola

thanks dear...for the response

good article thanks for sharing it, its truly something that is occurring and i bet the men don't feel it themselves that their attitude is hurting their wives , life would be happier and better if each one could love the same or even more than the next person, and give an equal amount of time to each other.

very correct @moonprincess in such relationships like husband and wife attention and love is needed

These couples are basically married because of the habit, social norms, because they had to or in the arranged marriages.
I don't see a point, if so many people marry to have fun together, why they don't have it ?
It has no logic for me...

correct..many people marry now because of socital norms and culture ... however some also marry for same fun but some of the partners like the men seeing they already have the women waiting daily at home reduces interest in them... nice point you raised... thanks

Nice post. Thanks for sharing. Upvoted :)

thanks for your support sir
i appreciate

thanks dear for your support... keep steeming hot and follow for more

This is unfortunately very common all over the world. While this post may be a bid sad it is true and I hope that humans begin to wake up to the possibility of a life full of love and freedom!
It is possible and I dedicate my self to not only living free and happy but making just as sure my family is as free and happy!
I appreciate your acknowledgment and highlighting me as an example. It is one of my greatest priorities to share with people.
Keep up the great work. Hope to see you around soon!

ofcourse @quinneaker
if most families fall back to nature and family life like you do... we will all relive the garden of eden! you are one of the guys that i admire so much... thanks for the comment and support.. i very much appreciate your comment!

You are right!
Everything we need already exists. Life in Eden Awaits!
Hope to see you there!

Thanks...will visit one day at least to say hi to the kids and enjoy nature...;)

hahaha a very wise move!
Hope to see you soon!

ofcourse... thanks

Upboated!
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thanks sweetie
you did great... keep steeming hot! and follow for more articles coming!

Thanks cutie

I like this post
Thank for sharing 😄

Awww...you soo sweet...thanks for tthe comment and follow for more...

I sent you the photos of the nails I made at the comment in my post. I do not know how to send pictures to you, so I posted on steemit and copy the link to send you. Do you see the picture clearly?

will check the link...

I was deeply touched by this article. Thank you for sharing. I will like to state that there are a lot of things that has kept family apart especially the man. These things you didn't highlight. However we know that in this era, love alone is not enough to sustain a family. You need some economical buoyancy. A balanced view of what causes absentee husband and honest solution would corroborate this post. Absentee husband sometimes is not by choice but because of necessities. Thank you.

I concur however this post is the first part...the causes will come later...which exposes the women side to it...keep following...however I real man must endeavor to be in charge of his home...most men are irresponsible and not worthy to be called head of family...that dosnt mean there are no exceptions and also women who causes them to be absentees...thanks for the reply

I actually saw your upvote on my post, so i decided to check out your blog, and i found this post. Your post was timely, as it helped me in a kind of surprising way after reading the post...

She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit!”

It was a good omen that i saw and read this post. I have therefore followed you and I will give my little token upvote with 100% to this post. I will definitely find you to check out the other parts. Today, you acted as God sent.

thanks dear... and keep that in mind...women are meant to be appreciated for them to return their love and affection... i shall update more good posts...
keep steeming!

I thought of my wife, she is very affectionate and loves me
... now I ask you if you love your wife?
Try to answer honestly to me :)
Sorry i forgot, do you have a wife? This should be the first question ........ Ok pull your mu remarkable my friend

i love my wife soo much...newly married and we are good friends...
did you read my post on absentee husbands...

mean we are the same :D
I've read your post my brother :)

great... will send a thank you message this week on my first 1k followers after 7 weeks of steemit
keep following...thanks

Go Family!

yeah...family first...

this is really amazing, I hope that the absentee husband even accept the fact that they are and they build their broken homes again. Well said @kenhudoy

@oluwatobiloba
thanks for your comment and you are right... this African ego that makes most men feel so proud at their homes and never accept mistakes... or wants their friends to see them as incharge...is unhealthy... women see hell in Africa ...even in Nigeria... its our duty to keep sensitizing men ...even some ladies are not also a good example of womanhood...
follow for more coming up soon...
thanks dear...
Oluwa will always be with you!

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good

thanks dear... so do you experience such in your country?

Great post. Absentee husband is a new social problem. Some are as a result of socio-economic problem, while others are stupidity.

very correct... thanks for the comment

Sent my mile stone post today ..check it out!

I hope things get better .

yes hope so
thanks

Very interesting and informative article, shocking as well, as I wasn't really aware of the issue. My wife and I both are self employed and work out our home, and although we are not constantly around each other, we enjoy every moment we have together...

Very good dear...keep it up and my regardregards to your wife...

I do think circumstances influences this a lot. My husband and I are both teachers but due to our previous school, being the hostel parents it required of him to stand up before our kids stood up in the morning and he came back after they went to bed. We focused our weekends around them as much as possible. But we finally had enough and changed schools. and we made a deal. He will put the kids to bed. After the first week my husband had a meeting and I put them to bed, my oldest (then 4) told me it is so wonderful that daddy is home every night. I am glad we moved. So sometimes it is not because they are doing it willingly. I can't tell you how many times my husband said he hated that he can't be there for them .

wonderful... you have such a loving dad... remember i mentioned @papa-pepper and otter steemian who are exceptions showing many men are caring husbands... yes you are right most men are absent at homes due to circumstances but yet some men are grossly irresponsible to their duties as a dad... thanks for your comment... if you scrol down you find related post as to family versus office...family is always first... did you read my mile stone posts! thanks dear... you the best!

This post received a 4.4% upvote from @randowhale thanks to @kenhudoy! For more information, click here!

Your blog is very intersting! Thank you for let me know it now i will read some of your post!

@noemilunastorta
Updated new post today...may interest you