Ah, for me it was a totally different experience. I had never believed in the illusions, refused to let others tell me what to do, would actively do things simply because they were illegal or otherwise against the rules, etc. But I had no sense of self, I didn't like to be around me, I wanted to die a LOT (tried many times as well), and mushrooms were the first thing that really showed me those trauma-based belief systems that were causing it.
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I see. They may have different lessons for everyone but I have yet to meet someone who learned nothing from them. San Pedro was the same way for me but it is much harder to get a good trip from and it tastes way worse.
I know that "I'm going to do it out of spite" feeling too but I outgrew it a bit as I got older and there were less people telling me what not to do. I still fall into it from time to time. I hate that I can't seem to quit smoking cigarettes but I still kind of like lighting one up in places where I am not supposed to lol.