Doofus is as Doofus does

in #life6 years ago

I can occasionally get a teeny bit OCD - I like for things to be in their place, especially for things like credit cards to be in the "correct" section of my wallet, you know, because. When I'm travelling for business, I also like to take everything out of my wallet I know I won't be using - loyalty cards, ATM cards, driver's license, personal credit cards and the like - because

a) they're surprisingly heavy
b) it's conceivable my bag could get stolen, and I've gone through having to replace all my cards and documentation one too many times to ever want to live through the experience again.

Usually, the day I arrive at my travel destination, I make sure the contents of my wallet, including all my cards other than my business credit card, my passports, South African ID and vaccination certificate are all cosy and happy in the hotel room safe. The inside of my wallet then looks like this.

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See that little piece of gold plastic sticking out from one of the card slots, just to the left of the closure flap? Yes, that's what my wallet looks like on most trips.

Except yesterday

I toodled off the ATM in the extreme heat, secure in the knowledge I was about to have a wallet pregnant with an additional ZMW1000 (1000 Zambian kwacha - a bit over US$90 these days), which would be more than enough to buy lunches and pay taxis for travel to meetings around town if I had to take a taxi.

I arrived at the ATM, opened my wallet, and saw this.

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This was Not Good.

gif source

Keep calm and...well, keep calm

I figured I must have taken it out and put it in the safe with the other cards. Unusual, because the whole point of cleaning out the wallet is to have just the one card in there - but hey, it was an evening flight, it was late, and maybe I'd outsmarted myself. No stress.

I got back to the hotel from the office that evening and wasn't too worried about it, as I hadn't had any hinky text messages telling me of purchases I hadn't made. I took the pile of cards out of the safe, expecting to find it nestled amongst its friends...but no.

Still calm

I looked through the cards again, more thoroughly this time. I went through my wallet to check if the card was actually in its spot and I'd somehow missed it.

Nope.

Hmmmmm....

I took the passports and other documents out of the safe and looked through them.

I looked through my purse in case it had fallen out of my suddenly slimmer wallet.

Nope.

Hmmmmm....

I looked under the bed.

Still calm.

Nope.

I checked in my wallet again, just in case. This time I slipped my fingers into every slot in the wallet.

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And there it was. See it? Nope again?

That's because -

I'D PUT THE BLASTED CARD IN A DIFFERENT SLOT! I'd put it in the slot where I usually put the pharmacy cards!! Who does that?

That was me last night
gif source

So all's well that ends well, but I will never put that card in another slot ever again in my entire life. The End.

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