Just a few years ago I listened to music constantly, while at home, in the car, while working on a project, surfing the net, while running. Anytime I could, I would turn on the tunes and get lost in my favorite bands, new music and even just mindlessly listen to the radio DJ banter. I remember even when bringing my niece home from the birth center the radio was on. (I couldn't help but wonder what effect hearing Aerosmith on her first go would be- she's turned out pretty mellow.)
I also referred to myself as a chatter box. It was seldom that I was in a social situation and not talking, gabbing, making small talk. I feel about as comfortable talking to someone I just met as I do talking to someone I have known for years. I admit I sometimes get over excited (read: have the annoying habit of) and cut off what someone is saying because I have a related comment. (Something else to work on.)
The sounds of traffic on the street at night comforted me and served as a lullaby...In short, I didn't like, couldn't stand, avoided, SILENCE.
Slowly over time, as so often it has been in my life, something shifted: the radio was more often than not off while in the car, especially when I was alone. I specifically turned the dial down. When entering a social setting, standing in line or while in a circle of friends I began to talk less. We moved and street traffic was replaced by the chirruping of tree frogs and other creatures. I started to tune into my inner voice and tune out the external hysteria.
I found myself starting to LISTEN. Listen to the sounds of life around me, the thrum of the car, the chatter and laughter of my kids in the backseat. Hearing what other people had to say, the sounds of nature and so on.
On a recent run I left my ipod at home and pushed myself farther and harder than usual, just me and the sound of my breath, the pitter-pat of my sneakers on the ground, the fussy sounds of squirrels and the occasional whoosh of a passing of car.
In this place of silence not only have I begun to listen to the sounds, voices and words around me, I've begun to listen to my inner voice, feelings and bodily sensations. In this quiet I realized that within there is a great body of knowledge dating back millenia, there is the wisdom of the universe available if I just breathe and allow it to speak to me. They say the voice of the mind is loud and the voice of the heart is quiet and after paying enough attention to listen, I know this to be true. My mind tells me so many things, makes so many judgments, demands, to-do lists and really just heaps it on rehashing and recounting the minutiae of life. On the other hand my heart has the sweetest, gentlest, kindest offerings. In many ways my mind serves me well, but my heart does a better job nourishing my deep self.
It is no coincidence I went further on that run in the presence of my own physical sounds and those around me than if distracted by an album or podcast. (Though I know for some people it is the listening that motivates them and it does for me to, but not always.)
I have read about people who go on retreats and take 10 day, 2 week or month long vows of silence. Think about the devotional monks and sisters in certain religious traditions who seldom if at all speak. I don't know if I could pull that off, I don't know if I'd want to. I love to talk, conversing and communicating On the other side, I love music, delight in the sound of accents, broken English and foreign languages. There is much to learn from just listening, just as there is much to be gained from sharing what you know, think and observe. It works both ways, but is definitely worth it to give more a bit more of our time to listening, really hearing what is being said, what sounds are out the window and all around you and with in you.
Try silence for a bit, take it in small bites, when you think of it or when it feels appropriate (or go all the way and try it for an entire day- do the opposite of what you'd ordinarily do to surround yourself with sound.)
1) Turn off the TV, radio, stereo, Ipod or other device (TV -especially if you leave it on for "company")
2) Before you respond to someone take a deep breath, pause and choose your words with care
3) Instead of speaking to a neighbor, stranger, etc. offer them a warm smile
4) When running or walking skip the music or podcast
5) Attune to your surroundings, listen to the birds, crickets, outdoor sounds
6) Seek quiet, take a walk or take a seat away from noise
7) Avoid gossiping
8) Instead of judging a passerby or someone close to you, replace the thought with one of gratitude or something positive about this person
I am not suggesting anyone take a vow of silence or go live in a cave, but by attuning to the sounds around us, quieting our own physical voice, opening our ears, our heart has a moment to be heard, to speak its truth and by doing so we may learn a thing or two about this thing we call life.
Any suggestions on how to turn down the external noise and turn up the inner volume?
Cool, I love the sea... We always learn from life :)
I am happy to live near the sea, thank you for your support)
Me too, I live near from the sea. Malacca strait sea. Have a nice day sist...
Thank you, have a great day too)
I've recently decided to try to make more silent eye contact with people. There's something about eye contact that innately manifests an inner / external volume change the way you speak of it.