Communication, something so simple yet so difficult to achieve. There might be times where you share your issues with someone but you felt that they do not understand you. Worst still, they reply whatever they feel. That happens because they are purely hearing your issues rather than listening to them. That is one of the issues these days. Listen to them, give them your full attention and when you listen you will know what to reply to them. Listen to understand not to blabber what you know. People may have same life experience but they interpret it differently. Understand their interpretation, perception and thereafter reply if there is a need to.
Let’s say you and your love one had an argument. If we listen to reply, the argument would go on and on due to not understanding their perception. We will end up saying mean words that hurt them which would result to mean actions as well. All these solely due to hearing and not listening to them. This can be avoided if we put our emotions aside and explain why we are having such emotions. Explain your emotions, don’t express it. If we can avoid all of these then why not? But here is the thing, it ain’t that easy. I have been doing my best to be aware and explain my emotions rather than expressing it. This needs awareness, patience and practice. Once we listen to understand them, things change. Man, it really does. Arguments can disappear just like that because you literally understand their perception and of course they should understand your perception as well. Once both parties understand each other, solutions will come about.
Another issue with communication is when we think we have communicated our message across to others but in fact we did not. Why does that happens? It is due to us believing that others are aware of the message as firstly, there know how we work and secondly our actions are so obvious that they should get that message. But guess what, it does not work like that. It is an assumption. When one assumes, hell breaks lose. That communication did not happen or rather the only place that the communication happened was in your mind. Now, the other isn’t a mind reader, so how would they know. You assume that they know but in fact they do not and arguments, fights, and tantrums happens. If you have an issue with the other go and communicate it with them. It is that simple.
In any relationship, mother/father-son/daughter, husband-wife, boyfriend-girlfriend, boyfriend- boyfriend, girlfriend-girlfriend, friends, relatives etc, communication is the key to a better relationship. How? When you communicate your feelings and emotions to the other, they have a chance to understand you and know how you work (this only happens if the other listens to understand and not listen to reply) and vice versa. When two people understand each other’s perspective, there tend to be lesser arguments. Moreover, even when arguments happens at times you may know how to end the argument due to the very reason that you know how the other works. Communication leads to understanding the other and yourself. Not only when arguments take place. When we communicate, we open ourselves to the other, we share a small part of ourselves to them and in that sharing the love for each other gets deeper, we feel more connected to them, we want to understand them more because we will know how to keep them happy and when hell breaks lose for them, we know how to bring them back and tell them “hey. Wake up. Its alright. Things are going to be perfecto.”
Always remember that we all perceive things differently. At times we may perceive a certain event similarly but there will definitely be times where we view things different from others. Before you get angry and say mean words, remember that the person you are saying to may have gone through a life worse than yours. Rather than lashing your emotions out, breathe, calm down and talk to them nicely. After communicating you may be grateful that you stopped and listen to them first. Words have a lot of power, use them wisely people! Lastly, communicate whatever you need to communicate to whoever, do not assume that they know it. Let your ego down and go up to them and explain or say whatever you need to :). Understand the importance of communication and use it well.
Hi, and thank you for your efforts. This information is interesting for my due to the fact that content is aligned with my way of thinking on this issue. I am also interested in researching best practices of communication. So would be nice to follow you!
My blog also dedicated to COMMUNICATION and PSYCHOLOGY: sharing best practices and techniques for improving your communication skills.
So you are also welcome to follow! And I like to build community with interesting people!
That's where most problems come from. People don't listen to just hear the others thoughts without reacting as we usually would do, to give an answer right away. #justlisten!
Hey @massivevibration! Agreed. We hear and we react. We should listen and respond. I wish we were taught things like this in school. Nevertheless, life taught me so and might have taught a majority of us. Hopefully we become more conscious and alter this behavior of ours
Thanks for the comment and the upvote! appreciate it heaven lots man! :D
Here we go :) I am so happy that I found your blog because you speak out of my heart ❤️ with all your articles. You just got a new fan 🐬
Hey @mammasitta!! :D Thank you so much for your comment! It really means a lot! I hope you would enjoy my upcoming articles as well!
Once again, Thank you! :)
You are very welcome! I am watching :)
Thanks for re-steeming this so that I can find it mammasitta.
@mammasitta! ahahaha! sure! :)
You are so right with this article! I find many times communication breaks down because of emotions. It has happened to me and I often see it in others.
My personal experience that hit me hard was many years ago when I was reading something written to me and I must have read it too fast. I made an assumption about what the writer was saying and I felt hurt by it. I could literally feel the rush in my body. I stopped reading and did something else for a while. In the meantime, I was thinking about why this person would write such things about me. I was really upset by it.
After some time, I decided to re-read what was written so that I could better defend myself. I read each line carefully so that I could be certain of my defense strategy. Suddenly, I was at the end of the material and I couldn't find anything bad written about me! I went back to the beginning and read it again. Still nothing!
For some strange reason, my own mind was playing tricks on me and there must have been some guilt or something that made me think that there was something bad written about me.
That was a long time ago and I have no idea what it was all about, but I clearly remember the lesson I learned. I allowed my ego and my emotions to take over my thinking. This was one of my first big eye openers. I was starting to learn about myself, and I didn't like what I was seeing.
I've had other experiences after that that really made me look deep into myself and re-examine who I was and what I wanted to be. It does take a lot of work and one has to be determined to conquer one's own ego because it doesn't want to lose.
It is not easy to control your emotions, but once emotion hits, the game is over. It's almost impossible to think rationally in an emotional state. One must calm them-self, regain control and then allow yourself to think clearly with an earnest desire to understand.
True so
hey @happyme! that was a indeed a lesson to remember man! And yes, it is not easy to control your emotions but once we learn to do that I guess it become easier! Thank You so much for sharing your story! Appreciate it :D.
You are most welcome. Thanks for making me remember it. Sharing experiences is one way to gain insight quicker than having to experience everything ourselves. I prefer to learn from the mistakes of others so that I don't need to suffer the same consequences. I believe that all living things are in some way connected, so when we help others, we also help ourselves.
And for those who wish to cheat and hurt others, know that in the end, you are hurting yourself!
@happyme, u are right. couldn't agree more!
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Hey @skyerai! Yup, hopefully we change and communicate better :).