Well, for me, my confidence stems from what I am capable of and being able to do all of the things that make me happy. I don't look in mirrors super often, have never felt the need to be pretty, nor does my phone or camera contain any selfies/photos of just myself at all. I don't think that women can't be selfish or shouldn't feel pretty. In fact, I feel that everyone should be content with who they are, and everyone needs to be selfish at some points in their lives.
I'm talking about almost every girl I know and the fact that I can take any of their phones, go through their photos, and find more selfies/nude pics/self-degrading shit that they may or may not have taken and sent to other people for gratification. Does that really make anyone feel pretty? It seems more objectifying to me personally, and I don't really know where it stems from, but I do not think it is good for anyone to be getting their self satisfaction that way.
IMO, you need to find things and people in life that make you feel pretty and confident just by being around them, and if you don't know the types of people I am talking about, you haven't met the right ones yet. While I agree, confidence is an internal thing, I think the way we as a society teach our girls/women to look for outside gratification is a big problem.
I think it is awesome you are that way! I love that about people, we can all be ourselves and be confident however we are. If that is how you are as a person, that is awesome, but I do not feel it is fair that some look down on others who may not act the same.
A lot of times what you call the problem stems from a self-confidence issue. Sure there are women out there who do all of those things, the part that people seem to miss out on is that it is none of our business why they do it. One of the biggest problems I see consistently is that we try to make everything our own business. If you are a happy person, not your circus not your clowns. On the flip side, maybe they do it for them selves and not gratification at all.
It is no one's job to tell anyone else how to make themselves feel pretty. If you looked at my phone there would be selfies, there would be nude photos, most of which I have never sent someone. I am married, so maybe you see that as different, but I don't. I don't take a nude photo to send to my husband (or anyone else for whatever idea that may conjure up in your head), sometimes I take them because I think I look good and want to be able to remember how I felt that day. Good enough to take a picture of myself naked.
I know a lot of girls who do exactly what you are talking about, post things/photos/whatever for reassurance that they are in fact pretty, but it's not really our job to tell them they can't. Maybe they have low self-confidence and need to hear it.
Now that that is all said, I will agree with you how our society works. It is frustrating to look at magazine covers that tell me how I need to look/do my makeup/dress. I'm most often the exception to the rule, and I know that these magazines do attract a lot of women. This is not teaching women to worship their own body, but it's teaching them to worship the body of a model/actress that is air brushed and photoshopped, that is a problem. It is our job as the adult figures to teach our children to appreciate themselves and not worry about what others look like. It is not easy, it never will be because the media does run the world, not girls as beyonce would like us to think.
I agree with you, that no one should tell anyone how or why to feel a certain way, I just think that a lot of the times, people in general(but women in particular) tend to choose a path thats easier to get attention, rather than doing what actually would give them the confidence they desire.
Also, side note. You should remember that men/women's minds work completely different, so it it doesn't really come into play how your mind may work compared to a female's.