People who are unhappy because they feel that they don’t measure
up will remain unhappy while they look negatively toward who they
are. There’s a very vicious circle at work here. If you believe you are
too fat, you try to diet. When the diet fails, you feel depressed.
comfort foods, you get fatter. So where does forgiveness come into
a situation such as this? For me, it’s obvious that there is a need to
forgive oneself. To those stuck within this situation, this isn’t quite
as clear. They see themselves as inferior and regardless of how hard
they try, they cannot let go of the fact that they don’t measure up.
In a case such as this, meditation helps as well as mindfulness. This
helps you to stop mulling over negative thoughts and to learn to
find some kind of harmony between your body and your mind. It
relaxes you and helps you with self-acceptance. However, first you
need to forgive yourself for all the negativity that you feed your
mind about who you are. I would suggest that keeping a journal
that shows all the things that you like about yourself is a good start.
It’s also a good start to forgive those who make you feel bad about
yourself. People who insult others or mock them are actually much
less likely to feel happy than those who they insult. Think of things
in reverse. If they feel that bad in their own lives that they have to
hurl abuse at others, it’s a fairly sad state of affairs. Show this kind
of person a little empathy, while accepting that the words that come
out of their mouths do so as a sign of their own insecurities. Forgive
them and feel better immediately about who you are. It makes you
a greater person than they will ever be, while they continue to put
people down.
Forgive yourself for not being able to keep to that diet. Forgive
yourself for not giving your body all of the right foods, but when
you forgive, it has to be sincere. That means moving on to healthier
approaches learning from the mistakes in the past.
Forgive yourself, and try again in a way that does not set you up to fail. Using the diet example: don't go all-in to a strict diet. Start making small, achievable changes. Drink more water daily, and maintain that for a few weeks. When it is second nature, add another simple goal to master.
Remember, keep each goal achievable, and keep on working on it even if you give in to temptation sometimes. Forgive yourself, and keep going. :)
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