I love that Japanese custom. The breaks and cracks in life are infinitely more valuable than gold, and I wouldn't trade them for a thing.
One of the ways of the samurai is to live as though you're already dead. It's actually a rather common theme throughout religion, Christianity and Buddhism included, albeit perhaps a little less blatantly extreme. I've never adopted such a useful belief, and I'm not even strictly following it...yet.
Good for you to break away from abuse. Never settle. High five, yo!
I have a book somewhere on the way of the samurai, I think I will dig it out.