My roommate just left for work and though he is gone more than half the time I find myself elated to have time alone when he leaves.
I like my roommate. He has been my friend, and more, for 15 years just about. So, it's nothing personal. I just NEED alone time. Even if I just had alone time chances are I crave more. I socialize for a few hours and I am exhausted and need to go catch up on...you got it, alone time. I never tire of my own company. Sure, ideally I need some socialization in there but I have actually started to adapt -due to circumstances- to pretty much no socializing. This would clearly be torture for an extrovert.
Why do introverts crave such alone time?
This can make us less enthusiastic and can make us actually feel drained by socializing, where as, our introverted peers gain energy from these situations. Obviously, everyone will eventually tired out from socializing but it is much slower for extroverts. For me personally, I am almost immediately exhausted when dragged to certain social events. People have often gotten mad at me because I learned to simply say "no" to activities I knew I wouldn't enjoy like a crowded club, for example.
This has changed my life for the better. Although, a few people might get annoyed and refuse to understand the majority of my friends got it and, more importantly, I learned that my need to be alone is just as important as someone else's need to socialize. I don't have to always be the one sacrificing in this department.
Not getting enough alone time can actually cause health issues in an introvert.
Did you know that it can be detrimental to your health not to get alone time if you are introverted? It's true. Introverts who don't take time alone to unwind can experience more allergies, colds, and back pain. They can be sluggish, irritable, and anxious. It can lead them to questioning the meaning of life and make them feel trapped and rushed. This is because we are living in a world built for extroverts. Be sure to get some time to yourself every day. Even if it is just for a few minutes.
Also, start learning that your need to be alone is valid and not simply "selfish". It is backed by science that we operate differently and there are known health effects when we push ourselves to constantly work to the beat of an extrovert's drum.
Educate your extroverted friends on your needs.
If you have many extroverted friends that try to constantly drag you places you don't want to be learn to say "no". But more than that, tell them why you are saying "no". Teach them the importance of alone time for your introverted brain. Most people, if they love you and care about your needs, will understand. Extroverted people don't quite get it unless we explain it to them because they find socializing stimulating and rewarding in a way we do not. So, just gently explain to them that it doesn't work that way for you.
If you have friends that really do refuse to listen then perhaps you need to reexamine the friendship. In my opinion, if your friend is insistent on dragging you to places that make you upset and anxious even after you've gently explained and educated them on your need for alone time...well, they aren't the greatest friend? I'd say you have a real opportunity for more alone time by ridding yourself of them. Or, you can keep trying to gently explain and be assertive -It can be hard, I know!- and eventually establish your healthy boundaries.
Great post that recognizes my desire for needing time alone. I'm from a generation that doesn't need to be connected by some device all the time. Your post really makes sense to me. Thank you.
I only just got a cell phone and its for making it to appts and emergencies and things that force me to use my phone to sign up. >_> I have it on silent all the time. XD I hate the expectation of being constantly reachable. No thanks!
Excellent post! Thanks for helping me realize I am not alone. Following! :)
Thank you! Followed back.
Many thanks!
Great post! I am an introvert, too. Do you think, also, that we feel exhausted and drained when in crowds (big or small) because we are empathic, too? (empath not empathy) As in, we can feel and we absorb the emotions of others- so we're taking in all that energy both good and negative. As a result we become emotionally and physically drained. I had to be in a huge crowd last night for a graduation ceremony. Today I am exhausted, having to "make" myself do what I need to do. This happens when I am in situations with people who are narcissistic, too.
I am not too sure about that. I personally have generalized anxiety, social anxiety, and sensory issues. I get very overwhelmed in crowds. All the sounds, lights and stuff just turn into one overwhelming thing that is drowning me. I really avoid large crowds now. Interesting theory though. I never thought about that.
After doing much digging into why I feel so uncomfortable in crowds, I discovered that I was an empath-absorbing the energy around me. It's also the reason I can always tell when someone is lying to me. Your posts resonate with me, so thank you for writing them!
Time to oneself is a lost art.
I was thinking of making a post on meditation. This has inspired me.
Thanks :)
upvoted
@shayne
Please do! I will follow you and read it!
Well said. Love the post. Followed a d upvoted.
Thanks! Followed back.
I get so much anxiety from feeling I never get enough alone time.
I used to as well. Now even though I feel a little too secluded living in a place with nobody other than my roommate who is always gone I would say it is much preferable to when I got 0 alone time.
I'm an intp personality type. And this article was on point. It's hard being introverted sometimes. And when your on the far end of the scale it's even worse. It's so easy to seem cold and distant to people, just because I don't go out or when I do, I don't say much. But I've had a lot of practice and can handle social situations pretty well now. Partially because work forced me to find a way.. but keep posting good content. I'm following you now!
Yes it really is a world designed for extroverts and society tends to see something "wrong" with people who are introverted when that is not the case.
Thanks for the follow! Followed back. :)
Allow an extrovert to sit unbothered for two minutes and he will go after his mobile phone. Introvert is the opposite, after socializing for an hour, they will turn off their phone and charge.
I didnt have a phone for years and years. Now that I do the ringer is always off. XD
But that doesnt mean youre an intro :)
Slipknot has it all figured out (not that i like Slipknot, but i agree with their vision this time :p):
I'll wait in silence till society has figured out not to bomb each other, steal from the poor or enslave everyone needlessly.
Well I am very misanthropic myself but that is entirely a separate issue from having an introverted brain.
I forgot to mention they also poison our food for higher profits :)
After a long day it's like I'm recharging again
Introvert to Introvert, very good article. I like it ;-)
Some day I hope to meet you.
Online.
Or maybe in separate rooms and we can talk thru the air ducts.
LOL!!!
(:
hahaha :) Separate air ducts..
Yes.
My liberty based shirt GAW is up an hour ago, I know you make shirts but maybe you will like the post.
I mean as we write. Together.
But.
Separately
of course lol
Great post. I feel like while I'm introverted I love socializing with my family and feel energized by them whereas I don't feel that way when socializing with anyone else no matter how much I enjoy their company. And I love my alone time but think it is a balancing act for sure.
I'm in the middle, maybe leaning toward the introvert side. I'm a teacher, and my job can be pretty exhausting and I need "alone time" to recharge my batteries. Funny thing is, people in China regard me as an outgoing person because I've grown so used to standing in front of groups of people that I don't care how I come across. I just act like myself. I suppose it's a matter of cultural differences, because Chinese by and large prefer not to "show themselves," which makes teaching them a special challenge.
Good article! I am following you now.
Great post. So many of my clients are introverted, and many think there is something wrong with them. Society tells them that they are "shy" (or worse). I spend a lot of time helping them work through their inner critic which tells them they are wrong for being introverted.