I believe the Navy allow a beard, but you have to stay on the ship for 28 days to allow it to grow and be respectable.
Next holidays sent the good lady to her parents for a holiday[ they want to meet the kids as well] make it a long trip so you can get a bit of growth in before she returns.
When the police allow you to talk you can explain why the god lady found this ugly person in the house, he must be a robber.
Haha, 28 days. Sounds like my kind of deal! I would hope that the Fosse rotor still be standing when she returned!