Tomorrow's headlines "Poor hardworking peasant found, dead, behind The Jolly Roger, near the dooks early this morning.
Cause of death not yet known, but could have been excess alcohol.
Last seen with a distinguished Gentleman in a blue morning suit.
Poor Miss Piggy Winnifred, it is a shame when a Gentleman has nothing to tell.
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You must have written the copy for the newspaper! That is exactly what it would be. Poor miss
piggyWinnifred indeed :0)