Have you ever noticed that a lot of times people quitting extreme habits will pick up a replacement habit on the opposite extreme?
Like, you quit drinking alcohol so now you've got ten prescriptions that keep you from going bat-shit crazy.
Or you quit manufacturing meth, so now you're going to seminary school.
Or you renounced the tyrannical religious beliefs practiced by your family, so now you're gonna be a tyrannical atheist.
It's almost like they have an unhealthy compulsion to get as far away from their former self as possible.
I say embrace your former self, and all of her flaws and misguided beliefs. You couldn't have gotten to where you are now without her!
Not that you should continue practicing old habits that don't serve you, or holding beliefs once you've identified them as false. But just honoring the person you were--and all the trials and tribulations that person went through to bring you to where you are today--is a healthier way to deal with your past.
When a person swings from one extreme to another in their pursuit of truth or happiness, it is a sign that they aren't comfortable with themselves. They don't have a sense for what's really true--or the logical deduction to figure it out--so they jump from teaching to guru to self-help book to church and parrot what they hear there. They don't have an internal well of happiness to draw from, so they seek it from drugs or religion, and they never find it.
Have you noticed this pattern in people you know?
Hi, I'm Starr!
I believe all human interactions should be consensual
I do this!
Yes, it seems common that people bounce between extremes to find the middle.
It is in part an addiction to drama.
It is also a part where our society schools children in black and white thinking. If you answer the test correctly, you are good, answer it wrong and you are bad. So, if your view of the world is rooted in True/False answers, than if christianity is not good, then atheism must be.
I never thought of it that way, but it makes a lot of sense. It also explains why so many people are so woefully willing to accept whatever the politicians or media tells them as TRUTH. They simply replace the teacher's authority with the authority of the government or the news.
Great article. Short and sweet. My take on it is like this:
All that bouncing to and fro, that's all about looking for that reward and feeling that punishing shame. That's pretty much what Western materialism is about (this isn't to say that Eastern cultures are doing much better), and we've been trained for the dope, like Pavlov's Dogs.
It starts with parents telling us what to do and how to do it, and when we fail, natural consequences just aren't enough for the parents. So they have to pile it on with punishments ranging from spankings, beatings, isolation, shaming and God knows what else.
Then when we're good, we get the ice cream, the allowance, Daddy's car for the weekend, or the graduation gift. We go for the gold, the sex, the high, or the food.
Wherever we go, for better or worse, none of it really teaches us to be happy with what we have right now. Punishment and reward just doesn't teach us any skills, and certainly not any skills about how to be happy in the here and now.
I've done my share of bouncing from bad to good and back again. I've seen the abyss. I've seen the snowy mountains. Now I've found some place in the middle where I can mostly relax. I don't worry so much about the reward or the punishment. I just deal with what is before me and see what happens next.
Man. I've spent a lot of my years in this jumping. It was a lot of wasted time. In another sense, I couldn't be where I am today without having experienced all the disappointment of looking for the "answers" outside myself. Great article and thoughts here. Thanks.
One of my favorite books, Awareness, by Anthony DeMello, quotes a psychologist:
"Whenever a priest comes to see me, all they can talk about is sex. Whenever a prostitute comes to see me, all they can talk about is god."
I enjoy your observations! This one in particular gets the gears turning in my head! Thanks!
Hey @lesliestarrohara aka "star I love your view on this topic..! #namaste
Balance is tougher because it takes sensitivity, control, discipline, time, pain, work, more time, perseverance, desire, gut, hard work, and a bunch of oatmeal, oh yeah. Haha. Love oatmeal. Interesting extremes. I love paradoxes. Not sure if this is a paradox or not but it is interesting to think about haha. Thanks for sharing, hehe. I'm not Chuck Norris haha. I'm Oatmeal Joey Arnold. You can call me Joey.