Working with subjectivity

Life is lived through our own eyes.

If I was to give a recount of my entire life from as far back as I could remember it would be completely different to that of my wife's, and of my son's. Think about it realistically. Life is completely subjective right down to the way we sleep at night.

I like to think I'm quite open minded when it comes to difference around me. I'm quite accepting that there are people out there that are entirely opposite in my way of thinking. And whilst it's sometimes tempting to run in, firing on all cylinders, trying to prove them wrong, I'm more and more leaning towards the stance that it's 'OK' to be different.

As a professional, I've sat in front of people before and often thought "wow, how the actual fuck can you think like this?" But since then the more I grow from experience I am beginning to realise that there's things in life that I just can't pretend to understand at all, but trying to take a look at life in their shoes helps ease the wanting to control everything about everyone else.

I can't understand why people still vote. To me, clearly the system is rigged and that voting for a candidate is not expressing my intention to nominate that certain person, it is more so expressing my intention to abide by a system that's clearly fucked up. I discussed this with my Mum the other day and she FLEW off the handle at me, saying that I was crazy and that my Granddad fought in a war so we could vote. She was really angry.

I could have fuelled the argument further by arguing my point, but it would do me no good. When I took a step back and saw it from her perspective, her Dad went to war for democracy, and she voted in times when there was an abundance of resources, the world was richly left leaning, and a vote did matter. Arguing with her would have been pointless because of her stern position and unwillingness to introspect. I ended the argument and told her that I would agree to disagree. By seeing it from her perspective it helped me understand her point.

And I think a great deal of being comfortable with difference is a complete understanding that my life isn't the only important one in the universe. Sure, the guy from Mexico got that job I was gunning for, but clearly he was a better fit than me. Hiring staff isn't just about having the credentials, it's about being a right fit for the team, and if you were to clash with other people then that's a no go. The homosexual guy isn't going to make a pass at me because let's face it, I'm a fat ugly bastard. And no, refugees aren't coming here to steal my money, but they do need to live too - especially that we're bombing their country.

I could bet you, that even a person you think you have so, so much in common with, I bet if you were to delve deep enough there would be something you both disagree on, and vice versa. I think people have many, many layers to them. Even the seemingly shallow people, you just need to know the right questions to ask.

I also think there needs to be a level of understanding too. For instance an Atheist arguing with a Christian over the Birth of Christ and the presence of God is like telling your friend that clearly can see a chair on the floor that it's not there. It's stupid. Because he will try and make you see it's there, whilst you will try and convince him it's not. For education to work there needs to be someone talking and another person(s) listening. Two people being the teacher never works.

Life through the eyes of every person is lived differently. I'm getting more and more relaxed the older I get. Some people fight for abolishing war, others fight for disability, and more fight for homelessness. It's the beauty of difference that makes the world go around. Embrace it rather than shun it.

We all have our unique combination of awesomeness and horribleness - use them both wisely and you will prosper!

@lifeisawesome