Please note, I am not trying to convince people having kids is the best for them or claiming that what I think is the right mindset to live a better life. My goal in this post is to describe my personal experience.
As I grew up I dreamed about traveling the world, finding love in the right guy, and have a stable job that would make possible a satisfactory life. However, kids never came to my mind when thinking about the future. Years past, and I had the opportunity to work as an Au pair in the United States. This opportunity, for many reasons, reaffirmed my “no kids” policy.
I believe there are people that grow knowing exactly what they want and nothing changes their goals later on in life. Whereas, there are others like me, that think that knows everything that will make them fulfilled but when life occurs and open its doors, perceptions, goals and priorities become different.
Turns out, at the end of my 20’s I could accomplished many of my objectives, but something didn't seem right. Traveling suddenly didn't feel as exciting as before; sometimes I had to motivate myself to pack, and I started to miss the comfort of my own bed.
I started working for a big company; applied things I learned in my studies. I could see myself getting farther in my career; but still, there was a feeling of emptiness.
My husband, always wanted kids, and we agreed to have 2 before getting married. I always thought I was going to change my mind with time. He waited so patiently, and even at a very crucial moment in our life where I ultimately decided not to have them, he said he was going to stay with me. I feel this statement was the outmost demonstration of love that he had for me since we met.
Thus, my husband, his love and my lack of truly life meaning made me in just one day change my mind about the subject.
Today, we have a healthy and beautiful kid and there is nothing I have done or will that will give me the kind of joy I have had since he was born.
He has made me a better person. Every morning, I wake up thinking what can I do in order to provide a decent life and to become a good example for him. Also, I do not know how did I ever compare to taking care of other kids to your own. It is indeed totally different, I celebrate and find happiness seeing him grow.
In addition, I truly believe he has deeply improved my spirituality. I trust that something so pure can just come from a source much more bigger and inexplicable than us and science.
Moreover, he has improve and reaffirmed my commitment to my marriage. I have seem a different face of my husband, that has just made me increase the love I feel for him. I also see a mix of us in my son, and this feeling of helping create a life that resembles both of us is an amazing sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.
I am sure everyone feel fulfilled in one or another way, but I am glad life open the parenthood path for me. There are many other things I am trying to accomplish but as long as I have my family, I no longer feel emptiness.
Thank you for stoping by!. Please let me know your personal experience and what do you think about the subject.
Also, you are welcome to check my previous post.
https://steemit.com/portraitcontest/@linzy13/panama-s-traditional-costume-la-pollera
https://steemit.com/colorchallenge/@linzy13/colorchallenge-orange-tuesday
https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@linzy13/from-south-to-north-from-east-to-west
Interesting thoughts and careful analysis. We do, we think, we plan and life will surprise us and it is so wonderful. The most beautiful is always before us. Good post ;)
I agree, we just have to acknowledge those beautiful things, and is not always implied. Thank you for your kind comment.
Anytime 🤗
Great decision! I can't wait to have my child! :)
So exciting!!!!
I think it's awesome that you waited till you were ready and that you have a wonderful husband who loved you and was willing to support your decisions.
Congratulations on your beautiful baby!
Thank you, your comment meant a great deal to me :)
My wife and I have three beautiful girls with another on the way. I've heard that love multiplies and I believe that to be true. @ironshield
Congrats on your girls! it must be such a blessing to have a house full of beauty ;).
Beautiful post @linzy13
Your husband truly loves you.
.. Cute baby. Children make our lives beautiful.
Thank you! I appreciate your comment :).
You're welcome
:-)
Making the conscious decision will help you become awesome parent, way better than accidental or compulsive ones! :)
Thank you! everyone should try to think this very well. However, life sometimes happens and I am sure at the end parents love is the same.
I am the oldest of 4 kids, grew up in a chaotic family, constantly moving bc "military brat". As early on as 13ish i was already saying no kids ever.
My mother was like "oh you'll change your mind"
Late teens/beginning of college - same mindset from me, same response from mom
Mid 20's starting of the career - same thing from both parties
Now 29 married, still the same thing from both parties.
The major difference now being that I'm in a career where i care for and help people regain mobility. I am also excellent caregiver of my animals. I'm aware of that. Lately, my Mindset is, i don't feel id be a good mother because i have a lot of personal issues that i go to counseling for and feel like that needs to be taken care of. Meanwhile my story sounds a lot like yours, he wants two, i toy with the idea but right now it is a no. At one point i would've had my tubes tied if icould have.
My Issue is, yes I'm good at my job that involves taking care of humans but I don't bring them home with me (@ my mom /husband). Yes i an good at taking care of my animals but they're not children for crying out loud.
Thanks for sharing your insight on this
Thanks for your openness about the subject. This was a big struggle for me, I constantly lived thinking whether I would be a good mother, or if I really wanted to have a 24/7 job (because it is!!!); I like to travel and do other things that would need to be cut out for a long while or forever because now financial resources are going to be directed just to provide for the family and the future of the kid. There is a lot to think about, including your husbands future.
I feel your struggle and I wish for you to find your answer sooner than later, because with all the other overwhelming things in life there is no need for this one to be hunting us day and night.
Following you now. Good luck with everything!
Thanks for your thoughtful response. Means a lot! ♡
I felt the same way growing up.i never wanted kids of my own but once i was in college for about 3 years i realized that where i was and what i was doing wasnt where i was suppose to be and what i was suppose to be doing.and i am proud to say that i am a parent of two wonderful blessings.
Hi! We modern women grow up in search for success, and some of us realize that what others consider success doesn't fulfill us in the same way. I am happy for you! wish your family all the health in the world. We mothers know thats all it matters.
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STOPI really appreciate authentic posts like this and I look forward to seeing more of your content in the future.
I think you’d really enjoy a recent post of mine... https://steemit.com/love/@sweetpea/a-date-with-my-son
Oh, and remember, be yourself, because nobody else does it better -- Full #Steem ahead @linzy13 :)
Much ❤
And I love your honesty "my opinion is often wrong but it matters" sounds a lot like me. From a mother to another mother, thanks for your comment.