I concur. I had this kind of pain once. Only it was emotional. And it FELT physical. I wanted to tear it out of my body. I remember sitting there staring at the wall, unable to eat, or sleep, or speak for days, feeling certain it would never end, and wondering if I'd ever be able to have a life again. I was experiencing pain to such an incomprehensible degree, my concept of self up to that point became completely irrelevant. My concept of what really mattered became crystal clear, and everything else became trivial. And has remained so for the most part.
Ever since then, I find it very difficult to value some of things that my peers value, or to the same degree. I simply do not find the same satisfaction in the things that used to impress me. My level of appreciation for the right things, and my ability to not care about the wrong things, has dramatically changed. My ability to attract certain kinds of people and opportunities, and repel others, is totally different than it was before.
When I read your story, I thought you were referring to emotional pain at first. And then I realized that what we're talking about here is universal in principle: pain of any kind, especially the unbearable, unending kind, can rip us out of ourselves. And this is not necessarily a bad thing.
I used to do kung fu. Our master would make us do mini punches forward in the air for minutes on end. And we were not allowed to stop, no matter how exhausted and fatigued our muscles became. We had to stand in our stance, feet planted, and shoulders square ahead, while we punched repeatedly, rapidly in place. It was AGONIZING. And IMPOSSIBLE. And then, something happened. It was as if the muscles just gave out. And suddenly, the punching became easier. And faster. And more fluid. And less painful. And it would get to another threshold of agonizing and impossible, but you had to punch through it. Rapidly. Don't stop. And the relief would slowly settle in again, almost like a numbing agent. And it would become slightly easier and more comfortable than before.
This would go on for minutes, and we would finally stop and rest, and THEN start our workout for the day! I learned that what was happening was that certain small muscle groups we were engaging would eventually give out and let ONLY the muscles that were absolutely necessary take over to get the job done. Only the most BASIC and absolutely essential muscles were to be engaged. The counter-groups and muscles that generally might cause resistance to an action would simply stop counter-acting. And the action would become easier. It was teaching a form of relaxation, basically. And it blew my mind.
And I hated it. :0)
Thank you for sharing your experience. It is very interesting what you say about emotional and physical pain. They are very similar in nature from a neurological perspective and it is true that antidepressants can act as analgesics and bring about pain relief. Similarly painkillers can also have effects on relieving emotional pain. This suggests that on a physiological level there is something in common.
Lol totally get the martial arts thing. I think the teachers love to do stuff like that - I had very similar experiences. I think that as time goes on you learn to relax the antagonistic muscles.
You're right. Analgesics from antidepressants is a known fact, likewise the painkillers can have emotional relief as well. I took antidepressants after a car accident for the express purpose of relieving some physical pain without relying on pain meds. It worked.
Yes I had a friend who did his research project on it in University. They all have potent analgesic qualities:)