Life has never been easy, no, even for the person who seems to have it all, there is always something amiss.
All was not well, born in a family of two, father and mother divorce, growing up was difficult, very difficult.
The 'ghetto' as we call it thus where we lived, you know how it is, the name calling, the isolation, the segregation.
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'The child with no father' 'child out of the wedlock' those were the names and of course, people would never say it to your face but as always actions speak loud than friends.
And to make the matter even worse, mother was having a mental disorder (do not really know the medical term though), so you can imagine what the situation was like.
Few memories of my childhood I have, I guess by grace my mind blocked the memories, you know something like that. I only have that one memory, a horrible one when I was a child, mother's pick at it high pick, mmm, terrible.
I was isolated from the rest of the world, at school I hardly made any friends, I was gripped with fear that no one should know about me, I will be the laughing stock. So I kept to myself, and yea i would have people I would talk to now and then. Was attentive to their issues because I knew the pain of holding everything inside to yourself without having a shoulder to cry on.
I kept things to myself and this went on and on and my life situation made me become so absorbed in books and nothing else. I was geared up to excel. Of course mother was not always sick. It was once in a blue moon.
Then this other time was towards my exams, she become sick and it was around 2008 the situation was horrible, mother had no job at that time. Dealing with me, school, home, life was tiring but I kept on.
I actually shut people away by focusing on making my life better, I was so determined to make it in life, to be on the top, to show people that the wedlock child could really do it besides the negative comments and stuff.
Wondering where dad was?
He was married but he would always give me money when I needed it, paid my school fees and stuff, and for that I am grateful to GOD.
Now when I look back into my life all the pain and struggles I am really grateful. I am really grateful because that made me who I am.
When I shared my life journey with someone, she told me something that made me view life at a different angle.
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TRUST THE PROCESS!
She showed me how my life experience made the best of me and also to learn to let go.
Trust the process? I wonder, when what the process has done has given me pain and pain.
Then she explained.
- Ever noticed that there is a reason for everything. The isolation from people in some way made you a focused person, maybe if you had not be like that, peer pressure would have destroyed you.
- She explained that I need to talk, make friends because now I am grown up and its good to share.
JUST TRUST THE PROCESS.
This was my life journey and now I am making the present and future past is long forgotten.
Partition is bad. But whatever is past is past. We have only to look to the future.
- Mahatma Gandhi
So true
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