Maybe you need to be needed? The person you described doesn't sound like a good friend at all to me. They sound like someone I'd personally avoid. I do remember that situation. I remember being confused that you were trying to work at all. Why were you trying to work?
I don't mean to come down on you, but I think these introspective questions may be good for you. I hope you find groups of real friends who will reciprocate.
No, no, no. This is great, man. I'm extremely grateful that you even take the time to indulge me with my musings. Just goes to show you're a great guy, Luke! It's funny if this would really turn out to be a yearly thing. Don't get me wrong though, I'm in a totally opposite place from where I was a year ago. It may sound like I have some resentment in me, but really I'm in a good place right now.
That's the thing though, every group I've been a part of always has those moments. It's not that I hate being part of groups, it's just that, with my track record, it's kind of hard to hope. Adjusting expectations and all that. Do I need to be needed? I guess. I mean, I have though about it quite a few times before. Though, I'm not really searching for it.
I think we attract certain types of people around us. If we're surprised about that, we should be the ones to change to attract different people and different groups, right?
Yeah, I agree. Hence my search for an identity :D I'm glad the discussion came full circle like that haha! Really though, I'm just trying to be genuine and true to my nature, in hopes of attracting like-minded individuals. I'm happy that I make baby steps toward reaching that goal.
Oh, and I forgot to answer your earlier question! I'm so sorry about that. I was trying to work to distract myself from the grief. No one was able to sleep during the morning, and all the people were just reminiscing about the recently departed. I felt relieved that I was productive during that brief time. There were no conflicts, and I helped solve a number of problems during that period.