I have not been loving myself lately, and it's all because I've gained some weight. Outwardly I just joke around about it, but inwardly my self talk is trashing me, tearing me down.
I've only been comfortable taking photos of my face, I don't want anyone to see my body. My husband of course tells me I look beautiful, and my children play with my new found belly and laugh how soft it is, they truly think it's fun to play with. So what's my beef? Why do I feel like I'm less of a person because my body is a different shape than it used to be a year ago?
I had an epiphany last night, that helped me come to terms with loving myself when I saw this video.
It made me want to give myself a big giant hug.
The woman in the video was formerly anorexic, and she recovered, tremendously. She now devotes her life to smashing body shame. To helping other girls and women love themselves, and reject what the tv, magazines and movies tell us we should look like. One thing she said really struck home. "I wasn't any happier with a smaller body." And it's sooo true for me.
When I look at this beautiful woman, I don't see her weight, I thought she was Gorgeous!! Her smile, the light in her eyes and her curves, everything about her I found enchanting...so my epiphany was, what the hell is wrong with me, why can I not see myself the way I see her?
If I ALLOWED myself to put my weight out of my mind, I would see that right now, I'm just as happy, if not happier than I was a year ago. It's my favourite time of year right now with gardening, and the kids on summer break, and I'm fucking it all up because I'm obsessed with a number on a scale.
So I'm just gonna accept me, and know that it doesn't change who I am as a person. I got all the love in the world in my heart, and all the joy I can be feeling, is mine if I just stop shaming myself, and start loving myself. Change all the negative things I say in my head, into positive ones.
And, inspired by the woman in the video I posted at the top, I will post some photos of me. No face. Just body. Not sucking in. Not trying for a great angle. Just me. Here. Now.
Thanks for listening to a piece of my heart, I hope if you are struggling with similar issues I was able to help open up your eyes to your true beauty. The love inside you that will never change or die, unless you let it. Or at least you know that you are not alone, and someone shares reality with you.
Until next time beautiful xoxo
Love,
Lyndsay Bowes
Congratulations for your courage, it's really brave of you to do something like this!
I think you're beautiful the way you are, and you should never feel ashamed of your body. The most beautiful people I had the pleasure to meet over the years were smart and good people. Their body didn't matter at all. Your attitude and the way you do things is what really matters.
You are beautiful, so keep enjoying the way you are and never shame yourself again :)
Congratulations again for your courage and for your article!
Thank you very much for reading and for encouraging me @raikuhen. It means a lot to have read such a warm reception as the one you have given me. Definitely sending you a virtual Hug! xoxo
You're pretty amazing Lyndsay! And an inspiration to everyone who reads your posts. ❤️
Thank you very much for reading this @anise, I appreciate your support so much! Lots of love! xoxooxoxxoox
You are gorgeous :) I know it took a lot of courage to open up about this. One of the biggest lessons I've learned is how to be kind to myself. Still a work in progress but further along than before.
Thank you so much for reading, and understanding Sarah, being kind to ourselves may just be a life long journey, I'm glad to be taking the first step.
Well, @lindsaybowes, I'm looking at your side pic and if you think that's a belly... just go have a little walk around inside your nearest Walmart!! Lol... quite frankly, I don't call that little bulge a belly... more like the after effects of a big plate of spaghetti :D
Anyway, your self affectionate attitude is Great and everyone should feel that way about themselves... it is the most positive thing to do! Listen to your Hubby and Kids Lyndsay.... they are just telling you the truth! You really have nothing to worry about or hide! :))
HAHAAA oooh spaghetti! Lulz!
Day 2 of smashing my negative body thoughts going well, thank you so much for the kind words @tigerblood. I appreciate You.
you are beautiful :)
Thank you and Big Hugs xoxo @cyberblock!
Society convinces every woman that something is wrong with her, no matter if she is fat or thin.
Yes, so true, so true. I bet if women all started loving themselves the way they are right now, the markets would collapse! That's how much we collectively spend on trying to look like the magazines and tv tells us we "should" look!
Thank you @mykos
This post is profoundly beautiful! ...and so are YOU! XOX