I wish I could say I've had a great year, but I have not. My 2016 has been a series of intense and emotionally painful scenarios. Maybe I'll explain this further in a future article, but for right now, the gist of the story is that I fell into a massive depression between the months of March and August. It was Rock Bottom for me, and there were points during these months where I truly felt I was not going to make it out alive. I began to close down emotionally, and completely isolated myself. Even my best friend did not hear from me for over five months.
The good news is that I don't feel like that anymore. As much as I truly wanted to lay down and give up, I somehow pushed through. I eventually realized that I was not living up to my full potential, and the situation I was in was NEVER going to let me live up to that potential. So I made drastic changes. I found some strength I unknowingly had, and purged the things in my life that didn't serve my greatest good. I basically chose to burn everything I knew down to the ground (metaphorically speaking) so I could build it up again; only better.
Currently everything is still in shambles, though, at least the fire is out. And once you realize you've burned everything down, you quickly become motivated to fix that. Rock bottom is a good place to be at times. I believe everyone will go through some sort of Rock Bottom at some point of their life as a test of strength and character.
Just how strong are you? Are you going to wallow, or are you going to push through it? It's completely up to you. Personally, I chose to wallow for about two weeks, and then I got sick and tired of that, graciously picked myself up, and moved forward.
Why did I metaphorically burn everything to the ground? Why did I give up the life I was living?
Because the metaphoric foundation of this metaphoric house was built on metaphoric sand. It really offered nothing for me except the promise of working hard for someone else's dream (a great dream, but not my dream), and living in someone else's shadow for the rest of my life. And I was ok with that at first, because I didn't really see myself as worthy or deserving of anything more.
And then I experienced Ayahuasca.
I am so grateful that I got to meet this mind-blowing medicine. I sat wrapped in a blanket overlooking the Ocean in Acapulco, Mexico fascinated with the fact that I had a body! I truly feel like I touched the core of my soul in a time span of seven hours. And once you touch the core of your soul, you recognize just how beautiful and loving (and powerful because of that) you truly are. I realized the light inside of me that burned so passionately was not supposed to be wasted.
I understood this medicine more than I understood myself, and in that moment I realized just how important it was to share Ayahuasca with as many people as I could. I realized that I had a powerful voice, and if I talked loud enough, people would hear me. I knew in that ceremony that I was put on this earth to help assist in the healing of others' mental and emotional states. Am I the healer? No. The real healer is the sacred plant. I'd just help administer her.
So the reason why I burned everything I knew, the reason why my life is literally unrecognizable, is to help in the process of healing our world; one individual at a time.
I truly believe that the Universe is evolving. We cannot push it faster than it is already moving. Obviously, the Number 1 goal for anarchists is to end government. But I truly believe that will only happen when nearly everyone on earth has found inner peace. Without inner peace, there will be more tyranny, more war, more suffering.
That's why I believe psychedelics are keys to our mind's eternal library. All psychedelics can open various doors into your subconscious, but I feel Ayahuasca is the Master Key. She can open the deepest hidden doors to your psyche in a very gentle way.
"She can open the deepest hidden doors to your psyche in a very gentle way."
Not always so gentle! ;-)
You are right! She can be jolting, too!
You are a light to many people in darkness. We are grateful to have you.
It's my opinion that the only way Anarchy will flourish is if people become strong confident wise people. You are certainly one to look to Macey for inspiration. I appreciate your message and am so glad you are delivering it to others.
quality post!~ you are an inspiration to others ~
Hello there love~
Great to see you on Steemit!
This is a powerful post of which obviously comes from real transformation. This is a valuable story and the community is enriched because of it.
The part I like the most is how you mention anarchists want the government to disappear and the world to change. Yet as you say the only way this can change is by going within and being responsible for that change. Blame no matter how horrible the villain is a disempowered stance of which will perpetuate more disempowered unfoldings.
I just wrote post about true revolution and how that begins within~
Hope to get to know you better and be a part of this revolutionary community together!
Bless~*~
In late 2012, in the span of a few months, my girlfriend of four years died, I lost my job and my money and got in a car accident that left me with lower back pain that continues to this day.
I was not happy for a long time after that.
But I pulled through by concentrating on things that made me happy, as soon I was in any shape to do so, and kept on doing those things.
I'm not a really joyous person to begin with, but I've been able to find some modicum of peace.
Brave post, brave choices, brave lady! I'm inspired by your honesty, vulnerability, and devotion. Ayahuasca is a miracle - may you be blessed in your service and all that you do!
Your passion and drive keeps me going.
Excellent post, and I have been going through some of the same issues. I'm glad to see you transforming your life and moving on past any limitations. Rise from the ashes, Macey!
I love this post so much. Here Macey, I featured you today. :)
https://steemit.com/steemit/@dragonanarchist/eyes-on-the-minnows-episode-2
Your words bring warmth. Knowing that there are spiritual outlets like this gives me hope. Thank you for sharing your awesome experience
Most beautiful. Definitely inspiring.
Woman, your aya-clarity is STUNNING! Sending so much love and respect, for you and your important work.
Don't worry I feel the same way as you do buddy. Look at it this way, you're doing better than me on posts :)