I’ve been a parent for roughly a combined one million hours, given my eight children and the time they have existed on this planet outside of the womb. If an expert is a person who does a thing for 10,000 hours, then I am expert about 100 times over, but somehow, each day, it’s like you’re starting from scratch in so many ways.
You can never learn how much parenting gives back to you, not fully. You can never learn how much it can hurt and bring joy at the same time. You can’t fully appreciate the depths of disappointment, or the highs of elation it can bring into your life, until you jump in and experience it full time.
This last weekend, I got to experience my family, almost all of it, in an abstract that really gave me a great picture of my place in the universe and what a lucky, lucky man I am. Steemit had something to do with making it all possible, so, I wanted to share my story with you. I hope you like it.
My first born, Elizabeth, is a magnificent human being. She is beautiful, loving, compassionate and strong. She will give everything she’s got to help someone in need, and not take any crap at the same time. She thinks for herself and is choosing her own path in life, so when she said she had found the right guy, I knew he had to be special.
Trent is nothing like me on the surface. He’s a somewhat reserved, nerdy, always smiling guy who wants to be a psychiatrist, but currently waits tables and tends bar. It’s why he’s waiting tables that makes him more like me than I could have imagined in the beginning. He’s supporting my daughter on her way through Vet School, and I love him for it.
As parents, we imagine who our children will build a life with. We think we know what goes into it and sometimes even think we know better than them what they need, but I’ve learned something. While I liked Trent from the beginning, and never had a reservation about her choice, in a lineup, I wouldn’t have picked him out. But, that’s because I’m short sighted, and I’ve forgotten all the countless hours I’ve spent with my daughter, watching her make the right decisions about life, and fall down, and get back up better for it.
If you do your job correctly as a parent, what you think of their choices won’t matter. What I mean by that is this, you can’t see through their eyes, but if you’ve shared enough to raise them into decent human beings, you can trust that their choices are going to strengthen, rather than destroy, build up, rather than tear down, and she’s chosen well.
Trent is from a small Oklahoma town, while Elizabeth was raised in the capitol, a city of a million people. As she visited there, we’d hear about just how small it was. It felt really small from their descriptions and neither of them had much positive to say about it. So, when she announced that we were all (when I say all, I mean it, just close family is well over a hundred people counting both sides) going to have to drive three hours to this place to see her get married, we were confused.
Here in Oklahoma City, we’ve got “people” we can get things done free, or cheap (I used to run a theatrical production company) and we know where everything is. But, she had picked out what she called a “city park” that meant something to them and she was adamant this was going to work. It was an inexpensive venue, with an outdoor amphitheater and a pavilion nearby that would be perfect, she said.
So, she went to Heavener Oklahoma and came back with pictures of the place in the dead of winter. We were worried. Sparse was putting it nicely. It seemed rundown and uncomfortable. We braced for the worst.
Over the last year, we’ve worked through the preparations. We got a caterer, then lost them. We got a DJ, then his price jumped and we couldn’t afford him. But finally, something went right and she selected a dress that was well within our price range and things starting moving forward.
Then came her theme. I recognize the “gamer” culture. It’s a cool thing, I guess, although I have to appreciate it from the outside. I love games, collected RPGs and board games as a kid, and was a marginal video gamer. But, when she announced her theme would be “Magic the Gathering” the worst was assumed.
We put on brave faces and made what suggestions we could, as she described paper flowers made from Magic game cards, 20 sided plexiglass dice center pieces, and symbols from the game in about a half dozen colors. I don’t know where my knowledge of my daughter’s artistic abilities and sense of style went, but it vanished as I imagined it. But, we’re here to support any choice they make that’s not destructive, so on we went, making little improvements as we could.
Enter my family, a troupe of actors, designers, dancers and technicians. From two free sound setups, to a professional floral arranger for the cost of the flowers, we managed to get everything covered. It was a lot like the final week before a theatre production opens, commonly known as “hell week” or “tech week”. Bits and pieces flew everywhere. There was no master plan, it seemed we were just determined to rescue as much of the situation as we could.
So, the big day arrived. Time to head out for the rehearsal and the three and a half hour drive across the state to the location. We packed up, fearing we’d never fit everything in, but family offered a little space here, a little there and soon everything was rolling in the right direction, except…
What was supposed to be a slightly bawdy bachelor party went a little “hangover” literally. About eight in the morning, when we were supposed to be putting the final touches on packing, we got a call. My normally level headed son-in-law to be, had gotten so drunk, he couldn’t move without puking. Turns out someone had underestimated his consumption and tolerance and lied about vodka being water, we think.
Anyway, an hour delay turned into a half day, then an ER visit for an IV and a diagnosis of alcohol poisoning. Meanwhile, about 40 people, part of the wedding party and some family hauling décor and props, were trekking across the state to the location at various paces, and my wife’s phone was pretty busy, keeping them all on track and making sure of what we needed to do.
As we approached our destination, expecting the typical, dusty Oklahoma small town, with a post office, a gas station, a bar and a Baptist Church, we were pleasantly surprised. About a half hour from Heavener, we entered the foothills of the Ozark, lush greenery and short, tree covered ridges surrounded us, as we headed into a beautiful mountain valley, the location was starting to make sense.
The rehearsal didn’t happen that day. The rehearsal dinner, in a cute train car diner in Heavener, got pushed back an hour and the Bride and Groom arrived an hour after that, him with no apology, something we will discuss in the future. But, otherwise, the location, the food, the staff, were incredible.
Next on the agenda was a cake crisis! The youngest of my six siblings, is an amazing cake decorator. She had created what we all knew, would be an awesome, fantasy themed cake, but, fondant likes it cold and hotel mini-fridges weren’t going to cut it. So, we asked the restaurant staff, five minutes from our venue, if we could rent space in their walk in. Too small, but they arranged with a local grocer to hold the cake the next day to make sure it was ready.
The day of the wedding arrived, and we headed to the venue, something we were still picturing as a “City Park” per our daughter’s description. Runestone State Park, sits on a hill on the East side of Heavener, overlooking the town. The drive up, twists and turns through a pine lines avenue, barely wide enough for two cars. At the top, Ozark meadows open up with views of the Poteau Valley.
The “community center” we expected to use for the reception, was the only thing that met our expectations. It was dumpy and drab and in bad need of maintenance and remodeling. But, fortunately, the picnic pavilion my daughter envisioned, was perfect! The amphitheater couldn’t have been more quaint. It was perfect.
Now only one hurdle remained. Oklahoma, is the kind of place where people don’t talk about the weather to avoid discussing current events. It is the current events. From below freezing temperatures, sleet and ice storms, to raging inferno days at 115+ we have it all. June is typically warm, very warm. In fact, it would not be at all unusual for the day of the wedding to have been 90 degrees, or more, too warm to get excited about hanging outside, in a suit, and not in a swimming pool, sipping margaritas.
But, God smiled and the day before a rainstorm brought cool air in and the weather could not have been more perfect. The ceremony was gorgeous and went off without a hitch. The misplaced rings were discovered last minute, safely hidden in the console of the Bride and Groom’s car, where they’d put them that morning, and in a disappointingly short amount of time, the whole thing was over.
I have so many memories to unpack from those few hours. My son's song he wrote and performed for his sister, my dance with the bride. My lovely nieces and youngest son as the flower girl's and ring bearer. It was a magical day.
https://www.facebook.com/PureRomanceAngel/videos/10212274515833528/?permPage=1
There was dinner, and cake, and toasts and dancing, and through it all, the most amazing army of relatives pitched in at every turn. My brothers ran sound, did the flowers, took pictures. My sister set up the cake, her husband officiated. My wife’s side of the family, without being asked, set up dinner and made sure everyone had what they needed. I don’t recommend attempting a “cheap” wedding without an awesome, talented family like ours. It was amazing.
And, thanks to steem, I was able to pay for hotel rooms for the wedding party, pay for the catering, buy the rehearsal dinner, and even purchase several hundred dollars worth of miscellaneous items that were needed at the last minute. It was one of the most amazing days of my life.
The best part? She’s the first of eight kids, we get to do it all over and over again and I think we are all, family included, really looking forward to celebrating with each of them, and my almost thirty nieces and nephews as they choose who they will build a life with, assuming they all do. What some describe as a horrible experience, was truly magical and I would not trade that day for a year of lesser days.
https://www.facebook.com/asher.morris.5/videos/1710915838937047/
Thanks, Steemit family for your upvotes, resteems and comments. Thanks for following and supporting my work here. Without you, I don’t know if I could have contributed as much as I was able to and it meant a lot to do that without worry.
I am such a looser, this is my first time noticing that you're a father of 8. I am one of 7, and my parents consider themselves to be crazy. So, I wander what that makes you? LOL. Congrats on the wedding, I loved your photos!!
I am the oldest of seven. I don't expect anyone to pay attention to me! LOL Glad to know someone else here from a big family, there are things you and I understand that many never will. HA!
So absolutley true. NEVER a dull moment. I wouldn't want it any other way
The same here hahah and I am the 3rd of seven. We have a lot in common....hiiiyyaaa
omg! I feel so happy for you and congrats to your lovely daughter! stay sweet! just upvoted to give you another little support !(tho i am still a minnow giving like $0.1 hhahaa!) cheers!
Right back at you, thanks for the comment!
Here you go. You got my upvoted. Greatest moment for parents for sure.
@markrmorrisjr 8 children!!! and you are still up and going fast daily with good posts , adding value here. I guess that steem power helps a lot haha. You are a success here due to your hardwork, dedication and ability to help others succeed. Congratulations to your daughter (she is a beauty) , the husband is a lucky guy. Beautiful pictures and story line of better thing to come. Keep steeming and I send in my blessings and upvotes...love , health and happiness
Well, I spend my days writing for a living anyway, so between books for clients, I do this.
Great, doing a good job.
Amazing ,best wishes to the new pair 🙂
Thanks, talked to them this morning and they couldn't be happier.
congrats on the wedding.
Thank you, it was a lot of fun.
Wow!
Congrats @markrmorrisjr
I'm the first Child of my parents and we are seven.
Thanks for sharing this.
Followed and Upvoted!
and ... Pls do stay in touch.
I am the oldest of seven as well.
Interesting! and good to know ... Please stay in touch!
WOW, congratulations to your daughter and to you my friend, Great to see the impact of Steemit and the fact that steemit helped you do this, such a beautiful family, GOD BLESS YOU !
Best regards !
Yep it's a pretty amazing opportunity we have here.
yes, steemit is amazing
Wow!
Amazing story @markrmorrisjr , are you okay with it if I share it on the Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/SteemitOfficial/ ??
I want to show the entire world the power of #Steemit and how this revolutionizes things. Thank you!
That would be fine.
This post received a 0.5% upvote from @randowhale thanks to @lichtblick! For more information, click here!
THANKS!
Congratulations
That's great! Congratulations. Hope I pay for my car someday. :D
Funny you should mention that! If I can get Poloniex to release my last power down, and stop paying for everyone else's stuff, I'm trying to buy a decent used SUV myself this summer! LOL
Hahha surprisingly poloniex.com has turned out to be the worst I have my coins stuck in there too. Let's hope for the best my friend.
Yes, well, at least we can laugh. Did you see my John Mayer parody of "Waiting on the Crypto Exchange" ?
I will did you my mamas kitchen post?
I'll check it out.
Thanks, I'm following you. :)
Thanks for upvote on my post before this the post had made just a dollar.
The power of steemit will continue to rise. Wishing her a successful marriage.
Really cool. Upvoted and resteemed :-) Thanks for sharing.
Thanks, glad you liked it. Great stories need to be shared.
You are a truly blessed man my friend :-) You are very welcome :-)
Nice post
Thanks!
Congrats very glad to hear that :)
Thanks for the comment. It was wonderful.
It's truly special to see a community and platform help in special moments like weddings and other occasions:) Great photos and your writing is amazing to say the least. Have a wonderful day @markrmorrisjr!
Thanks! Well, the writing is something I've done professionally for about a decade now, so, I better be getting decent at it! LOL Having the funds to draw down to help pay for things was amazing.
A million hours does make you a expert, and parenting is the best experience you could have. Blessings to you and your family!!
Thanks, we can use all the blessings we can get. That is always my wish for everyone, may the universe smile on you and God bless you, because he knows what that means and his blessings are sometimes the best revenge, LOL
That is amazing, I have a long-term plan that I can save up enough money to start my dream journey :) I hope I will achieve my plans just like you did! I will be happy ıf you check my page , I am beginner in this community :)
Thanks! Well, the secret is in figuring out what's important and making it really important, and letting EVERYTHING else take care of itself.
@markrmorrisjr Congratulations to you and the newly-weds!
Thank you, we are very blessed.
Great to see what steemit can do! :)
Pretty amazing to create an economy out of thin air like this.
What an interesting story, @markrmorrisjr! You did a great job with your imagery bringing us readers deep into the story with you. The bit about hell week hit home having a bunch of friends in school being actors and techies.
Do you have any pictures of the 20 sided die center piece? That sounds so awesome!
Well, it turned out to be a twenty sided polygon made from dowel and twine. I'm sure there are some, I'll post some more in the future.
I'm not a fan of weddings, but with a cake like that, how can I not be wild about this one! I wish your daughter and her new husband all the best, they are a lovely couple! Glad Steemit made all that happen, upvoted and followed!
ⓐⓒⓘⓓ ⓖⓞⓓ ⓒⓐⓣ™
×ღ×ღ×
Well, it was more like a wedding themed party, really! LOL
Wow. I really live ur pics. Congrats to ur daughter on her big day. Love the place and the cake :0) thx for sharing. Im from a family of 5 but my sister has 5 sons already......where will it end? Lol
That sounds like an awesome family. I don't know what I would do without mine. All of the pics here are from my son and my brothers.
I know what u mean :-0) family IS life. So u have future photographers in the family :0) not bad
Well, my son is a Youtuber, doing quite well with that and video production, but my brothers are confirmed amateurs in that department. I have a daughter going to school for photography in the fall, though, but she was in the wedding.
A family with many tallents :0) great ambitions. Really nice to hear about u all.
Interesting story. Beautiful young couple! Love and happiness! Fascinating write . I will read your posts with pleasure!
Long live the newly weds!
Thanks! Glad you liked it and welcome.
What a beautiful daughter you have! And the groom is right for her. Looks like both are very funny :)
They've been together almost two years and seem extremely happy. I'm glad she found someone .
very nice post congrats on the wedding
Hey, thanks, I'm really blessed with a super cool family, on both sides, so any chance to celebrate with them is always welcome.
Your posts are very good. I will follow you, we will be friends. And I hope you will follow me too.
Welcome! Glad you enjoyed it.
Congrats on the newly weds!! Looking amazing!
Thanks! It was great.
Cool idea. I like it! Upvote ;)
But how old is your daughter ?
She will be 22 in September. About to start her senior year of undergrad and go into Vet School.
Congratuations! 🎊
Bringing up 8 children is not easy! And you are just marvelous! It's my pleasure to have a share of happiness from this post! :)
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it.
It's so amazing to see how people are chasing their dreams with Steem. Hope many more will follow!
I'm guessing that's going to be the case. I was worried back in the fall when people stopped showing up and things went dead.
This community will be growing every single day, if we keep helping each other and especially helping the new steemians!
Wow! Steemit did it for you? Maybe one day it'd do it for all of us here! So happy for you guys and I just got to know you! Haha Full steem ahead man. Cheers!
#follow4follow
Well, it wasn't a fund raiser, just rewards from my posts.
Not saying it was sir :)
Thats amazing! Looks like a great wedding location!
Turned out, we should have known she'd pick a great spot. It was beautiful, especially for the price!
This is a beautiful, well-written story! Thank you for sharing. Congrats to your daughter and her new husband!!! Upvoted and followed for sure. Looking forward to more stories!
Thanks! Be sure to check out my fiction, and I write a lot of tips for steemit too.
How great is that? :)
I wish them all the best!! :))
It was pretty amazing. Thanks for the best wishes and the comment!
What a great story. Congratulation! beautiful pictures.
Thanks, these pics are from family members. We haven't seen the actual pro photos yet.
Wonderful that we as a community can support an iconic event as a wedding! I hope you guys enjoyed it!
I like weddings I believe in the bride and groom In my mind there’s a good belief they will teach the world to be happy
truly touched!!!! followed and resteemed!
Thank you
Congrats!
Thank you.
The steemit speerit ! Always be happy and blessed !
Thank you.
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Congratulations! You have a beautiful family. May God bless you all.
Thank you, we receive God's blessing continually, as do we all even if we fail to recognize it.
Just beautiful! The craziest wedding snafus make for the best family legends! Thanks for sharing this magical day with us.
My pleasure. Thanks for the comment.
This is so awesome... and it makes me realize that I still have no idea where any of this money is coming from!
It is literally being created from trust in the blockchain
8 kids?! Kudos to you. I only have 3 and some days it feels all that I can handle. There is probably a network effect with more though. Lol
There is. But, it's not due everybody. I am the oldest of seven, so i had some idea of how it would work.