With Halloween just a week away. We felt it was appropriate to do a movie review. And this isn't to review anything new. Oh no this is from the b film archives. Thanks to the streaming video providers there is no shortage of terribly cheesy horror films to choose from.
You know the movies I'm talking about. Straight to VHS. Where there is a light amount of nudity, tons of poor to terrible dialogue, and plot lines that just really don't go anywhere.
Please note that below this photo there will be a lot of movie spoilers. Yeah I know this film is ancient but don't read further if you might want to watch this multi-movie series about a Warlock that terrorizes modern society.
So if you're still with me. Light 'em if you got 'em. And I'd like to suggest you check out Warlock (release date in the US 1991). Produced and released by New World Pictures.
Spoilers below this line...
First let's just say this film was very enjoyable with the help from some super silver haze.
Warlock the film, begins in Boston, Massachusetts in the 1600's where a witch is being held in a tower awaiting his execution. He was somehow caught by a witch hunter who is overseeing the warlocks detainment until he is burned alive.
And I like the dialogue here, because they are going to burn a living cat along with the warlock. Priceless...
I was reading reviews about this film before watching. One of the best comments. The Warlock is a lot like the terminator only he goes forward in time and is a fantasy villain rather than a sci-fi villain.
Anyways the winds kick up and the Warlock disappears with it, and he is transported to Las Angeles in the late 1980's. The witch-hunter magically followed the Warlock and continues his pursuit.
The movie at this point introduces a ditzy blonde female lead. Who is living with a gay roommate. That roommate is murdered by the Warlock. He actually kisses the gay roommate and bites off the man's tongue before murdering him. The acting is pretty terrible in this scene. And it seems like this whole angle might have been very edgy some 25 years ago. Now it just seems dated and unrealistic.
So the ditzy blonde is chalk full of lingo that probably hasn't been uttered by anyone since the 90's. I think that's one of the things that makes this movie so enjoyable. Just how dated everything about it is.
The ditzy blonde is cursed by the Warlock and starts to age 20 years every 24 hours. Her transformation is just awful, but she keeps on wearing her hip outfits which is hilarious as she goes from being a 20 year old to a 40 then 60 year old.
The Warlock is looking for pages of a book that will help him call out the true name of God and basically destroy the world by reversing everything God created.
It's really odd how a lot of the pages are stored in random places. Like tables and attics, as though these would not have been discovered at some point over the some 300 years they were hiding.
The plot is going to bounce around a lot. But stick with it, the ending is pretty good.
You get to learn a lot about hexes and witches in this movie. And combines 1980's LA hipster, with child face eating Warlock, Amish, and Grave desecrating all in just 103 minutes.
The ditzy blonde actually saves the world by injecting salt water into the veins of the Warlock in a Boston cemetery. I will say that nothing about that end scene looks like Boston.
And furthermore, this poor woman has it pretty rough. She is forced to endure a curse of aging. She has to travel from LA to Boston hunting a Warlock. And once she kills the Warlock, he and the witch-hunter disappear. Leaving her in Boston without her car, and a ton of new credit card expenses. And she was complaining about having no money from the start of the film and she went ahead and maxes out all her credit cards...
My favorite scene #1: Hands down the entire time they are in the Airport.
Why, because everything about that has changed. Yes it's a movie. But they show up and basically board a flight they have just paid for. And the protagonists run through the entire airport and board the airplane with a huge weathervane.
My favorite scene #2: The Boston cab driver scene
The film plays on the rivalry between Boston Celtics and LA Lakers in this scene. When the witch-hunter is arguing with the cab driver on where to go on Tremont street in Boston. Because he knew where to go over 300 years ago. Oh well it's unfortunate they couldn't get an uber in this movie and just point out the location on their phones.
Rotten Tomatoes gives this a 53%
And if you like this film please note that it has 2 other sequels. We watched the second one right after this one. It was also terrible enough to be good.
Are you watching any horror films right now?
Do you also have a favorite b horror film or scary movie?
We'd love to hear what they are.
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Man, super silver haze is one of my all time favorite strains & the warlock was one of my favorite movies as a weird 11 year old 😂 Felt very empowering to learn men can be witches too! Haven’t seen it forever, I’ll have to watch it again & have some good laughs
Right there with you. We first watched this and some other terrible slasher film in our early teen years. At that point I think this film was actually scary.
That's some of the outdoor we could harvest this year. Most of it is awaiting hash processing. It might not look like much but it packs quite a classic SSH sativa punch.
Certainly not a couch lock strain, hence my motivation and ability to post about a terrible film :D