Hey Chris. Fascinating blog. I have been reading what you are posting with interest.
I broadly agree with you. I have a friend who was having a horrendous time a while ago dealing with an awful situation, and in the midst of this, he got a phone call that he really didn't want to take, and he felt guilty about that. The thing is though, he took the call!
I said to him, you can't be feeling guilty because you felt something. That's a chemical reaction. It is not what you feel that defines you, but how you behave. And you took the call because it was the right thing to do, and you are a good guy.
It's a balance, though. Sometimes feelings are are set of instructions, and it is right to adhere to them, and this is where I perhaps disagree with you a little. Emotions are an extension of who we are, and there are times where it is vital that you let them take over.
Everything is a shade of grey!
Hi, Mat! I am actually very glad you found some points to disagree on. I like this part of writing a lot.
I make my posts quite short, so people like you and I can discuss the things that are left out in the comments.
I think that how we should react to emotions is cultural, and therefore - subjective and subject to change. We can always play with our reactions, and either do the culturally acceptable thing, rebel against the norm, or try something else entirely!
But yes, I write with conviction, even if I am not 100% convinced myself ;)
I enjoy a good back and forth too. Some people are affronted by any sort of challenge, but that just belies their insecurity.
Actually, I think we are basically agreeing here! There is no golden ticket. How we respond depends on a variety of factors. What you are doing is encouraging people to be a little circumspect with their behaviour. And some people are very much at the mercy of their emotions, which would make your advice extremely salient.
A lot of people are far too reactive to everything. Not enough take a moment - just a moment - before they respond.
Oh no! When someone respectfully disagrees, it's really great. They're trying to help me see their point of view, and they very well could be right.
Thank you for truly engaging with me and my content. People like you are the reason that I write.
That's a lovely thing to say, thanks.
See you around, I hope.