Thank you for the advise.
People want me to get out, to fix my life and to move on. It is not the end of the world they say. That I can bounce back. That I held it in so long and now that its in the open I can deal with it and be better.
Some say that I held it too long and it should be enough.
I haven't really gotten out the past three days. I haven't even walked my dog outside and he has been stuck inside the house looking at me with sullen eyes. I will take your advise on getting some sun becayse I know it does affect my mood when I don't get any sunlight.
I have been seeing a therapist all this time but I dont think she has been able to make any breakthroughs lately.
funny how you mentioned bday because it is nearing mine too and it was last year I decided to end it on my bday. Most studies show that depression is particular hard during holidays but I agree it is doubly hard when your birthday is near.
I hope that I can hang on and see the beauty of life. I really do.
You're so welcome. Just little baby steps. There is no timeline on getting better. It still upsets me when friends and family tell me 'Just get over it' Our brains do work that way. When it's been damaged the way ours has been, we don't even have confidence in ourselves to get through any time there is conflict, a degrading comment and so forth. Our brains automatically see the negative.
You're doing great. Just go moment by moment. The moments get longer then days. I'm sure you see where I'm going wit this. Tell your therapist how you're feeling that you're not progressing. Ask her about EMDR, it really helps. It takes longer for the bigger issues, but some of working through some of the smaller issues, helps ease some of the frustration.
You can hang in there, you might not see the beauty for a while, just don't rush it. I'll help as much as I can, as long as you want it. If I get too chatty tell me to shut up LOL. To be honest, you're helping me out too. This is forcing me to think rather than dwell or try to escape.