Look at the state of yer? You fall in the Sea?
I growled at the Bear-Man and made a noise as if farting into a very small bag.
No, it's pissing down outside, in case you hadn't noticed?
I jerked my head annoyedly at the outside of the Bear-Man's fine emporium.
Outside it was wetter than the bahjeen of a Whale who had heard that Gordon Ramsay was cooking up some squid in her kitchen.
Aye, it's a bit minging. Still, you've got a right face on ya?
I attempted to smile at the Bear-Man but my face refused to play ball and stayed resolutely glowery.
I just came back from seeing the in-laws in Dundee. It was pissing down the whole way and there were traffic jams everywhere. I feel a bit tense.
I said through gritted teeth.
I looked around the Beer Shop hoping there would be a mangy cur to kick. There wasn't. Dammit. Not that I was sure what a mangy cur was anyway. A hyena? A dog? A scary tentacled testicle?
Oh aye, Dundee... I've heard it's shit?
The Bear-Man nodded and stroked his beard thoughtfully.
I nodded too.
Aye, it's shit. It's well shit. It's like a big bag of shit that someone keeps shitting into. I hate it.
I said with feeling. Visions of the locals with their rubbery faces and rubbery accents flitting through my head.
The Bear-Man nodded again.
I get ya. I get ya. I think I know what you need.
He smiled a strange smile. A smile that said he had opened my locker in work and found what I had hidden there.
And what would that be then?
I said suspiciously.
I hoped he wasn't going to suggest a game of hide the purple monkey.
The Bear-Man held his hands wide.
I think you need a Bear Hug.
I froze in horror as if I was wearing a necklace made of Donkey's penises and had just realised that one of them was still slightly alive.
*Did the Bear-Man know I called him the Bear-Man on Steemit? Was this why he was offering a "Bear Hug?" Was this a twisted game and he was now readying himself to kill me for some of the things I had been saying?
Was I about to die?
Well, if I was about to die I would do it with dignity.
Um, a bear hug? Erm, ok then?
Wincing, I held my hands out loosely to the sides.
Wahahahahah!! Not a fooking hug!!! A beer!! Look!
The Bear-Man was creasing over with laughter, holding out a can of beer that had a picture of a Bear and the words Bear Hug emblazoned below it.
I coughed as if to expel my un-mannity.
Ah, A beer! Aye, hand it over then.
I'm back! Ish. I'm in Bali finally after an epic adventure/expensive fuck up in getting here. I may blog it if I can be arsed.
Anyway, it's funny you mention Dundee cos I had my first Dundee shower in LAX since I didn't want to pay $50-60 for lounge access to take an actual shower. I actually felt much better after so I give it the thumbs up. Then Hong Kong airport came through with the goods offering free showers in the arrivals hall. Magic.
This has nothing to do with beer obviously. I'm just making small talk and justifying my absence.
Haha, that sounds awesome!! Well, not the Dundee shower part although that is well justified!!
This all sounds quite exciting, I have always wanted to go to Bali! Blog it!!
OMG, I love this!! I think you Need a Hug all the way from the lovely state of New Jersey... for you, boomie...
(can't quite make out what the picture on the label is ...lol)
Cor blimey!!! Look at that!!! Serendipity!!! If I think I know what that means, that's awesome!!
Ahaha...I think the Bear-Man should join us on Steemit so we can get his side of the story! Somehow I don't think his tales would be as entertaining as yours are ;)
Haha, I would be goosed!! He would be like hand on, that's not what happened at all and hey, what's with all the fat bear stuff!! LOL!
Walk it off and curse like a sailor.
Phew, thank goodness you said walk it off!!
I like the dirty talk.
Filthy mare :0D
Jajaja, very funny!
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Heh heh, it works be a horrifying thing!! :0)
@meesterboom hello dear friend.
what a good sense of humor the bear bear has, that was close. Wow!
Luckily he spoke of truth.
I wish you a happy rest
He does indeed, I think he's is funnier than me at times! Cheers @jlufer!
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Hurrah for DBlog!
That's a classic Freudian slip, you thought he was saying bear hug instead of beer hug because you actually wanted a bear hug from him...
Unless... he was actually thinking about giving you a hug but then he saw your face and made up an excuse using a bear hug! It was all a plan!
Lol no it's even worse than all of that, look!!!
A literal bear hug!!
A literal bear hug, sounds... damaging xD
It's a strong one! I would expect nothing less from a bear!
Why would you be wearing a necklace of potentially zombie donkey penises? 🤨
You secretly want a hug from bear man 🤣
How was the beer?
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We would one of them potentially still be alive!?!? Aargh!
Hehe, I don't!
I will find out in about ten minutes, yum!! :0D
A beer called Bear Hug? Can't wait for today's post on that! By the by-Have you seen this?-
It's official, there's a day for every damn thing! 😆
Oh man, could they not leave that one out!! It's it meant to be fun?? Lol :0)
Second image I have seen you as a women tonight. You are scaring the shit out of me as you would be mega fugly. No bear man on Steem as he would write shit about this strange man buying beers every Friday.
I bet his side would be quite different. He would be like, eh, he just comes in, mutter s it, buys beers and fucks off!!
And dammit, I would be beautiful!