Please, take my money but don't hurt me!!
A young work colleague Phlegmy threw himself down on one knee. He held his hands out beseechingly.
Fuck off, ya daft bastard.
I responded, my brow frumpling up at his odd antics.
I had just arrived at work through the freezing icy snow storm that had popped up out of nowhere and I was in a grim mood.
I started to unzip my big winter coat.
Oh god no, he's got a gun! Please! Please! Don't shoot me with your big gun, mister!?!
Phlegmy gargled dramatically.
What the hell are you on about?
I huffed as I slid out of my coat.
I think he's talking about that thing on your face. You know, the Dick Turpin scarf thing?
One of the nearby Business Analysts, a chap called Wetty piped up.
I threw a poisonous glance at him for opening his filthy Analist mouth and toyed with the idea of picking up a chair and smashing him in the head with it. Bloody Business Analysts, no one likes them.
Phlegmy also made a disgusted face at Wetty and got up shaking his head.
Have you come to rob us, oh villainous highwayman?
Phlegmy chuckled at his own fine wit.
So, come on man. What the fuck is it you are wearing on your face?
Phlegmy dropped his fearful act and looked all sneery at me as if I was his wife ordering steak in a fancy restaurant.
Oh this?
I tugged the thing on my face downward exposing my moist pink lips.
It's a Wizard's Sleeve.
A fucking Wizard's whatsit?!
Phlegmy snorted with glee.
A wizard's sleeve.
I pulled it over my head and tucked it in a pocket.
A wizard's sleeve... HA, hahah hhahahahhahah... You do know what a Wizard's sleeve means... Don't you?
Phlegmy looked as if he was going to explode with joy.
Yes, I know.
I said, rolling my eyes at the folly of youth.
Bet you don't.
I do.
What is it then. Go on, tell us!
Phlegmy practically shouted.
I paused. Of course, I knew that a Wizard's sleeve was a euphemism for a loose bahjeen. After all, I was the King of Euphemisms.
HA! He doesn't know!
Phlegmy crowed.
I do, it's the term used to describe your Mum's vagina.
I smirked.
Phlegmy recoiled slightly.
Hey, that's out of order?!
He squawked.
Aye, your mum's vagina is out of order.
I said smugly.
I don't think that's very funny.
He replied flatly.
I don't think your mum's vagina is very funny either.
I turned away and put my headphones on. Bloody youngsters, no respect for their elders. Or their Wizard's Sleeve's.
I had to google bahjeen and fortunately, your Quincy beer post uses it in more direct context. So now I am certain. He did walk right into that one anyway so he only has himself to blame the little mamas boy.
He does indeed!! Serve him right! Did my Quincy beer post come up in the search? I must be doing something right if it did :0D
!ENGAGE 30
Well duckduckgo,
but who knows one day you might be on google :) Google is being all self-righteous and trying to correct me. But I said fuck that I know a bahjeen when I see one.
Ha, that's bloody magic!!! Fuck Fuck Go for the fucking win!!
@penderis you have received
30 ENGAGEfrom @meesterboom!View and trade the tokens on Steem Engine.
Taking a shot at a guy's mom is always effective....
And appropriate.
Every time.
You gotta safe it for the right time but it works every time!!!
Especially when they are young, why is that?
It hits close to home, I suppose, to a youngster.
Aye, I guess so. Probably a bit mean but hey, you live and learn!
I thought Phlegmy's mom had a "Bag of Holding". No matter what you put in, there's always room for more.
But oddly, there isn't a never ending stream of gold coins. It's awful to be duped like that!
If you are at the Bag of Holding, just look a little higher and you’ll find the home of the golden stream.
And of course be careful you don't stumble down into the mud
Yes, those mud pits sometimes generate a clay golem. Then you are in trouble. Unless you have a suitable staff for defending yourself. Preparation is the key.
I do have a suitable staff. I learned never too be without back in London in the sixties
I couldn't come up with an appropriate comment @meesterboom, but just be certain that I read this post in earnest while scratching my head in wonderment...
Oh of that I am entirely certain! You are a good fellow. It is true what they say!
Shhhhhhhhhh...Don't spread that around too much. It'll ruin my reputation on the chain...!!!
I think you ruined that yourself several posts ago! ;0)
Uh-Oh.... :>/