The snows had gone. Everything was back to normal and I sat in work with a face like a cats arse eating a cigar.
The air con in my work is notoriously wonky and it often seems to be set at tropical which means you have to dress appropriately. I had on a short sleeved shirt which allowed me, in snatched moments of joy, to admire my guns straining away at the sleeves.
I reached over to the shelf next to my desk to pull something off it. I felt a small breeze on my face.
What was that?
I lifted my arm again.
Something flapped ever so slightly.
I cocked my head to the side and inspected my upper arm.
Skraawk?
I muttered, as I gazed upon the wing before me, hanging down from what was once a magnificent muscled arm. Not just any old wing either. It was my wing. My bingo wing.
Bingo Wings, for those not in the know, are the hangy folds of loose skin on the upper arm, that old women who play bingo, flap about in the air when they have won a fiver.
How did this happen? I cast my mind back. Everything was hunky-dory and then we had the little boom. There were certainly some sleepless nights around then and I did hit the chocolate a bit to get through it.
That situation is still ongoing and then there was Christmas, followed by my birthday...
Ah.
I might have put on a bit of weight.
But Bingo Wings? Me?
I got up from my desk and ran to the toilet. Maybe it was just an angle thing. I needed a mirror so as to dismiss the idea that I could possibly have bingo wings.
The toilet was empty. I quickly wheeked my shirt off and regarded myself in the mirror.
Looking good, BoomDawg.
I flapped my arms experimentally.
Skraawk?!!? SKRAAWK?!?!
Sure enough, my magnificent wings flapped back and forth underneath my arms. I flapped them some more. Then a little harder.
Did I feel a certain lift?
I flapped harder still, were my feet lifting off the ground? Were they?
Waaaark, waaaark!!!
I cried victoriously. I was almost flying, flying!!! I flapped harder and harder.
The door opened.
El Jefe entered and stopped dead in his tracks. I covered my nipples in mock outrage.
Well, excuuuuuuuuuuse me!?!
El Jefe flushed madly and backed off mumbling something apologetic sounding. The door closed. I snapped my beak at it angrily then moved back to the mirror.
I looked at my bingo wings again and gave them a sad flap.
Damn. I had better get serious in the gym... Fast!
Bingo Wings, Skraawk ( by the way I didn't quite get it what it is ),...Waaaark ( opposite of middle of skraawk, without k and s ), should be new words in the body building terminology. Actually, while I was looking for the words in Google translate, Google, such a wise Sir gave me that in Luxembourgish Waark is awaken, so I would assume it is to awaken the body...? 💪💪💪💪
I definitely am sure that Your Jefe although looked a little bit weird and mad ( maybe ), He was for sure, very much proud of You as You wanted to fly pretty high...😎
Hehe, its funny you say that. I was using Skraaawk and waaaark as bird noises because I had wings under my arms :O) Heheh, although I very much like the awaken thing!
Oooh, I got it now...It is strange what mind can do unbeliavable...Mind thinks, feels, wants and this is part of our subtle body...and in my case it did such a fiction, 20 min 🤔I was looking for Hidden meaning in Waark and Skraawk...You know Conspiracy Theory...and all that🙃.
Oh, my goodness can You see what mind can do ??? 🤥
I see exactly what it can do!! I am like that too when reading things. Looking for the hidden meaning! HEhe, sometimes it works a treat!
😉😉😉
I had to check my own arms while reading this just to make sure. I'm safe...... for now.
Is is always best to have the odd check. They creep up on you!
When we were younger some buddies would use the reference to Dunlap Syndrome. If you had Dunlap Syndrome then it was imperative to get your butt back to the gym. If you are unfamiliar with Dunlap Syndrome it is when your belly done lap down over your belt a little.
Haha, I didn't even see where that was going!
Bingo wings, ya crack me up. Ah, the joys of aging. Where the wrong things get larger, hairier and weaker, and all the right things smaller, flappier and furry-er. Nothing that a bottle of Nair and 2700 curls with the dumbbell won't cure out in a month or three. Easier to fix than the boss in the loo thing : D
Aha!! Nair! I had forgotten about such tricks of the trade!!! Hehe
Suppose you can keep that stuff in mind, just in case the ear hairs sprout larger than a monkey's wrist. Though for this iteration, the gym-bells seem the thing.
I am already taking care of the ear hairs... And the nose hairs. Will this torment never cease!!
Lol boomdawg. You should get a cartoonist seriously.Your story telling skills is legendary.It's time to clean out the 🔫 s for real myself included.
It's a good time of year for it!
A cartoonist would be ace!
"Bingo wings" never had heard that phrase or term used, but so far I haven't aquired as such...but, I have much worse, man boobs! I don't go shirtless anymore, as it scares the kiddies and confuses the babies... no gym for me, if I can't walk it off, it is staying...
I may have a slight case of them too. But I am still deluding myself that it might not be the case!!
LOL! Two questions:
Were you eating the cigar, or was it the cats arse eating it?
You mean chocolate liqueur, right?
Ha, that will learn me, it would be the cats arse eating the cigar!
Hehe and no, just plain old chocolate!
This absolutely made my day - I noticed the same thing the other day and now I can name it - getting older is a bitch. My brother-in-law's son ask my mom-in-law why she had it and she told him it use to be her muscles. And he just looked at her and said "Wow you must have been really strong when you were young..."
Oh that's a cruel one! At the same time though, really strong. Smashing!
It is my grandmother and we all found it extremely funny and well she just also laughed - what can you do??? Aging is bound to happen - or so they say
My mom was moaning about this the other day - searching for exercises to do, Meesterboom you have a gift of putting a smile on my face every single day - thank you for sharing this with us and taking every day events that we can all relate to and turning it into a LOL moment
Hehe, you are most welcome!
Skraawk! Waaaark! ....LMAO! giggle, snuffle, snort, braack!
Heheheh, I am a birdy!!
Methinks this post is for the birds...Skraawk!! Time for the gym Mr Boom. Time for the gym waaaark!!! And give Polly a cracker on the way out, woulda love?
Raaaark!! The gym is calling!! Wraaark! Wheres my polly waaark!!
I am laughing so much now...I have no words!
You should see them!!! Skrawaaark!
Just don't fly away anywhere!
I could make it to Spain with these things!
Let them grow, you could become Bat Man and catch all the spammers.
Lock them into a room where they could only read your posts and laugh themselves to death.
I could beat them with them!!
Lol! :O)
HA!HA! Wings, are you kidding? Well, aging does deal us a few quirky surprises. Just remember, we're not older, we're better! Wings and all!
Older and better!! I got ya! That will be my mantra as I stare at my fine face in the mirror of a morning! ;OD
If the flapping stops when you contract your triceps, then don't worry.
If it doesn't, can I have a laugh at your expense, please?
My laughs are there too see!!!
It almost stops...
See what happens when you put a bit of muscle tone on with, say, 50 push-ups.
I shall return in some weeks!
I like that image of you with wings instead of arms. Would be handy for some situations less so for others.
This also reminds me of that ad that used to be on "Britain's bingoing mad" for some bingo chain or something.
I remember that as! Back in the day when I still ratched terrestrial TV! I should redo it a bit better. I liked it too
In Australia, they’re called tuck shop lady arms. Welcome to your middle age!
I am fighting the welcoming of it!
So....with your permission, I'd like to steal and alter your thumbnail image to use in my Holi-Art on March 10th. That cool? It may or may not involve a kilt ...and some bagpipes. ;)
Wha!! Really!! Aw man, that would be so cool... You have my blessing!!
Woohoo!
Out of curiosity, you wouldn't happen to have the original one before it was warped, would you? If so, shoot it over to me on Steemit.chat when you get a moment. :)
Lol, yes indeed!
I tried and it looked as if it added but the chat is going real slow. If it hasnt worked I will try again unless you got Discord?
Got it! Looks great!
Smashing!
I really love that little pictures with funny phrases that you put inside the article, complementing the text.
I wanted to use something like that but then remembered that you already do that. I should try it later though, it's cool.
You should! I did it by accident once and stuck with it ever since.
Back in the early days of steemit when you used a heading by typing the hash symbol before your text, it used to insert a line break after the heading. A small one.
But then they changed it and it doesnt put one
###annnoying
eh!
So I had to use the "br" command, but it inserted a big line break and it made the text look funny, So I thought, I know, I will make my own text dividers!
Phew that was a long story!
And you made a great choice. Now they completely rock together with the main article.
It's just hard to hold the laughter when you see some of these pictures lol.
Well thank you! :OD
The reality hits especially when we have a family and buried ourselves mostly at work. Body maintenance becomes secondary. Many young men go to gym and develop 6-pack abs. Down the years, I develop one tremendous oversized one-pack abs like a 3-month pregnant man. Perhap it is time to look at my diet as doing exercise is just not my thing. There is always slight humour in your writing but those with difficulty in English may not understand your hidden message well. They may just end up using your steemit gold just to give a positive comment to sweeten your eyes and lift up your ego. LOL
I fear that the ego polishing has been having an effect lol!
I was always proud of my two pac. Even it has gone. I will have to stay on the straight and narrow for a while and you are right it is the family stuff that puts it all into the background
Can I has flyz :DDD Okay you killed me this time, this is too funny lol
Hehehe!! Cheers! :O)
Oh, I call them my Bye-Bye Arms. I wave hello and my arms wave buh-bye. LOL
Hahah!! I am calling them my bye bye arms to because they are saying bye bye!! ;0)
flapping over a fiver lol 😂 you paint such a picture
Hehe, it's a good one!! :0D
Hello @meesterboom: definitely the solution is Gym; now dear BoomDawg, you should also think that the years pass, it is no longer a big boy, and muscle mass begins to give way. Age weighs a lot ... I think that definition of "Bingo Wings", I will never forget it and I will always remember it when I see sweet Old Ladies play Bingo. Greetings.
I hope it does stick in the memory!! Hehe.
Yep, is the gym for me!
It's really going to be difficult to get the image out of my memory; I think tonight I'll have nightmares with a "Bingo Wings" attack. Horror!
Nightmares... Or amazing dreams of flying with big porky winged folk!! ;0)
seems like a lie after 40 years everything requires a little more dedication and care, open that visit more often the gym.
I wish you a beautiful nighthoo, noo dear friend @meesterboom this is the worst thing that can happen to man. bingo wings nooooooo.
It is a cruel and ignoble thing. Me and the gym are going to become best buddies!
Bingo Wings, I freaking love it! I am adopting yet another phrase from you me boom!! I'm sure you will be back in RAAAR condition in short order, I have every faith. Skraak. lolll
Skaawwk!!! I will, I am on one afternoon again if a routine. I have a rep to maintain!!!
Skaawwk!!! I will, I am on one afternoon again if a routine. I have a rep to maintain!!!
I was laughing man when El Jefe came into the toilet while you were flapping your arms wildly. He must be thinking you were mad.
You better get some exercise or your "bingo wings" will expand further. Upvoted!
Oh don't worry, I am on a regimen now!!!
He thinks I am bonkers at the best of times lol
You should try to jump from a cliff with these bingo wings, may be you can fly better...
Consider it done!
Woow, hahaha boom.
That is cool @meesterboom
Not quite!
it looks like you're having more fun.a very interesting story @meesterboom.
Much fun to be had in this crazy thing we call life!
@meesterboom you always makes my day. soooooo, do you really want to fly? Do you remember the GTA voice city there is a cheat code come fly with me try it.
I remember the game well!!! I have no time for games now though!
no game 🤐
Oh! You want to be a man with strong arms and six packs? :p
Gym harder ;)
Lol, the gym it is!
Welcome to age. Mine are called potatoe samoosas.
hahaha, good post. in what moment you went from being beautiful and sexy to having bird wings ==?., what a trauma ... you need a gym, you run.
I would like to have your support and motivation in my publications ... thanks
Hahaha! Bingo wings is one of my go-to mock mockeries! Ugh! Even the best of ones gets caught by that bug huh? I feel like it started when you got to that cheap backwater gym. Without the proper facilities to cater the needs of a gentleman, how can one be expected to tighten those guns!? I feel like your lifestyle was almost the same, it's just that the flexion was taken out of the equation. I guess you had been doing some gym deflexion ;)
Hehe, ah yes!! The deflexion!! Or all started when I have up my luxury gym membership it's true. The cheap one is a shithole!
Bingo Wings, that is some funny stuff but you seem a bit on the young side to be getting those and with all the beers you are tossing back on the weekends, how could that even happen? And what, just the other day you told me how you loved to shovel snow, which would prevent that from happening!!! Sounds like you are trying to pull one over on us! A manly man like yourself with bingo wings! egads!
Not sure how I missed this post, but with the feed the way it is, and I am sure yours is huge, it is easy to miss posts from your best loved posters, such as the last 3 beer posts of mine you have missed! ;)
I like your story :)
Thanks!
How many hours you spent making writing all of that?
I applaud your equal :)
Quite a lot! :0)