I was having my breakfast coffee in the kitchen in the small hours of the morning. It had been a number of days since I had heard of the mysterious Eager Zero. My investigations had led nowhere and it was time for me to take stock.
The good lady entered, yawning like a lumbering creature of the deep.
Morning.
I ventured tentatively.
She shot me a look that could pickle cucumbers.
Thankfully my cucumber was safely ensconced in my boxers. Inwardly, I sighed for this tawdry and awful future I had found myself in.
I forced a smile at my erstwhile love. Surely, there had to be something of the frivolous filly I used to playfully club with my turkey twizzler left inside there? I thought to ask her advice.
I am on a case baby.
You're a headcase? Ha!
She barked, giving herself a pat on the back with a blackened claw.
No, I am on a real case. Trying to track something or someone that is called Eager Zero. No one is talking. I would give my left leg for some loose lips and I don't mean like an old Russian Ballet Dancer's.
The good lady looked long and hard at me. For a moment I had a glimpse of the lass I had left behind in another timeline.
Why don't you ask the universe?
She cackled bitterly at some private joke.
I downed my coffee in a one go and picked up my fedora.
See you later babycakes. Save me some of that sweet potato pie for later.
I got up and walked into the hall.
What potato pie? I haven't made a potato pie?!
She yelled from behind me.
I paused at the door, and looked over my shoulder.
I meant your damned vagina and no, that is not a euphemism!
I slammed the door behind me. It was time to take to the streets.
On the train to work I had time to contemplate this bizarre future I had found myself in.
The good lady had said Why don't you ask the universe? I had assumed she was just being a gnarly old boot but what if she wasn't? What if the universe was talking through her?
The tannoy announced the train's arrival at my stop. I flushed the toilet, wrinkling my nose slightly at my own freshly mined Hershey's Gold.
On exiting the station a young man with a shaven head stepped in front of me brandishing a magazine.
NME for Free?
He grinned.
I stopped dead.
An Enemy? Why would I want another Enemy?
Erm... It's free?
He said, his manic grin dropping slightly.
A free enemy? What the blazing fuckpots? Are you mad?
You don't have to take it?
He looked aggrieved now.
I pushed up close to him.
Damn right I don't kid. I ain't taking any of your shit. Now get out of my way.
I shoved him. Hard. He stumbled backward yelling about a madman. I looked about but I couldn't see one.
I decided to grab a coffee from the cafe beside my work. There was quite the queue. I cursed this future time I found myself in. There were never any queues in the past.
I was standing behind a couple of guys dressed like tramps. It didn't take much detectivity to deduce they had to be DBA's, no one else would dress in such a way. I almost dismissed them before noticing their name tags. They worked in my place.
I felt a frisson of excitement as if riding a horse and getting warm testicles. This had to be a sign from the Universe? I mean, what were the chances of bumping into some employees from the same firm as me in the cafe outside work just before nine?
I stepped closer to them so I could overhear their conversation.
... the crypt? They must have the key surely?...
Tramp DBA 1 looked around furtively and noticed I was standing within mere inches of his poorly clothed bottom. He shot me a glance that had secrets and lies all over it. He edged forward in the queue.
I pretended to look at my phone till they looked away.
Mad perv man, did you see? He was practically up ma arse?
I opened up a mail and fired it off to myself.
...Someone called Mad Pervman, practically up Mars?...
I hit send. It looked like there was some code or cypher being used; I would have a go at it later. The two Tramp DBA's carried on, ignoring me now.
So if we Eager Zero it, it will help but I don't know if it will take us back to where we were?
Hot flaming shit! There it was, a lead. I inched closer.
Tramp DBA 2 whipped round, our faces so close I could smell his wife.
Here you? What are you up to? Beat it!
He snarled.
Tramp DBA 1 scrunched his face up like a drowned person's foot and took a menacing step toward me.
I assessed my chances. I had faced tougher odds but my mamma always taught me that the pragmatist is the shagmatist.
I pulled a hand from my coat pocket and threw a bundle of change onto the floor at their feet.
Scramble...
At the unmistakable clink of coins hitting the floor there was bedlam, everyone in the cafe jostling and fighting to get the copper and silver treasure, including the trampish DBAs.
I picked my way over the seething bodies, wrestling and tearing at each other and picked up a random coffee from the counter.
It looked like some things in the future were not so different from the past.
I stepped toward the exit whistling a jaunty tune. So they want to go back to the past and somehow Eager Zero was part of that?
Well, well, well. I had a couple of leads and a coffee.
The future was looking brighter...
Unfortunately, I recognize the good lady's mood ;-/
This episode strikes me as Mad Pervman in dire need of more caffeine...or maybe less?!!
It's always more. There is no such thing as long less!!! ;0D
So, I got a little bit into it. The past is the same as the future, yes, only if we do same things the result will be same...
There is always deeper meaning in what you write, if that is not the case, than there is no meaning in the writing...That's why, I'm trying to read between lines, also...in what you write.
So, the result is the same, if we don't change what we do,...And if is possible to travel through time, it can be near past or more distant past, like described in "Back to the Future". Distant past means, travelling from life to life and that is reincarnation...?
Ahhh, I like it! Yes, you are unlocking this one! He has travelled o the near future, but has he. Or is this simply the life he is livng but further on. Ah, all will be revealed! :OD
Step by step, I will get it, actually it sounds like now days life but it also sounds like life he is looking at from future in the past...The intelligence will come, when it will be mostly needed...
You will get it no bother, I hope indeed that the ending is not a disappointment!
wELL, I also hope so,...If it is full of optimism and positive things, that would be cool, if it is negative like "Avengers Infinity War", ok I will accept but positive is always more suitable for me...
I am a positive chap! ;O)
Man besides humour, tell me from where you get these pics :D
I makes them with clipart!
they are tender, innit?
They sure are guvnor!! :0D
I loves them xD
Cheers, I think they add a bit of pizazz! :0)
Why...
Oh, Why...
OH, MY GOD, WHY...
You always see the best in me :OD
great dear friend, Eager Zero is in research, it will soon be revealed its meaning, great to use the old method to make way for the crowd, the vile money always works.
Another great reading dear friend @meesterboom
I wish you a beautiful afternoon
It's soooo very true, vile money captures the hearts and minds!! :0)
Hmmmm perhaps has he found a way home? Maybe he can get back to his real "Sweet Potato Pie". BTW, I've never heard that used this way and I'm totally dropping it tonight. Here's hoping I don't get slapped. LOL. Let's be honest, if you are close enough to smell his wife then you can be sure to miss nothing.
I love to use normal expressions differently ;O)
Perhaps he will find a way back to his sweet potato pie! lol
What the blazing fuckpots? Hee hee, I am so stealing that one! Actually, that would make a great name for a boom serial!
You got this mad...er mulder!
Mad Mulder... lolz!!
It's not bad eh, I might be using it myself more often! Spread the fuckpots!
:OD
This mystery of Eager Zero is a little complicated; you must follow the steps to the two Tramps DBA:
They can have that master key that allows you to return to your old life.
You have it exactly right, that is the path that must be trod!!
I will never eat another Hershey's Bar again .... lol! Well done! :D
Yeah, they might seem a little... hershey'er! :O)
LOL! :D
Huy honey, when the good lady looks at you like that
You have serious problems!
Lol, ¡Yo era el loco!
All will be fixed in the future!! ;O)
Me lo imagine que eras el loco ;)
Con amor todo se arregla.
Lolo!!! Es verdad!! :OD
I was drinking coffee while reading this and spilled some when I read the cucumber part 😂
Very entertaining.
And love the thumbnails! You have a very distinctive and colorful look.
Why thank you! I do try for my own style :0D
Well, mission accomplished! 😁
Hehe, excellent!! Now I shall quit!! ;0)
Please don’t 😉
Don't tell anyone, but eager zero gives more time for coffee when creating the, um, empty universe where the past will be put.
Indeed, dont tell a soul!! ;O)
Man I’ll say you are quick on your feet! Clearly a lead.
Astonishingly quick. like a hammer ready to fall!! ;O)
Thank goodness we have no Hersey bars here...I'd be afraid to buy one...Neer know what is wrapped in gold foil!
'Ware the gifts wrapped in gold!! ;O)
LMAO!
I like how you threw a bundle of change to get away from that uncomfortable encounter. A strategist indeed! Upvoted!
Indeed, deflection!!
it might be my low attention span, but I felt dumb after reading this.
How do you think I feel having written it! Lol!
During your absence in the timeline, it seems Eager Zero had risen from the ashes like a demented Phoenix. Of all the things that could fill the power vacuum, it just had to be something sinister. The future is in good hands with you on the case, Knock-knock-BOOM's-there. I'm pretty sure The Clivvers has his grubby paws all over it!
The Clivvers could finely be the man behind all things!!!
Hehe!
Though I doubt he'll admit it! I'm sure that when the dust settles, it was Carlate pulling all the strings all along!
Yeah, you can never trust those contractor types!!
Writing good words from your story @meesterboom, (Fortunately my cucumber is safe in my pants.Inside my heart, I sigh because of the terrible and terrible future that I find in myself.
I forced a smile on my first love. Surely, should there be something of a frivolous filly I used to play around with my cowardly turkey left in there? I thought to ask her advice.) This part is very interesting story
Thank you. I was fond of that bit too
I am amazed at your drawings. coupled with a very regular story. your best.
That is kind of you to say!
sorry if i am wrong in english. but I just want to say what I see and maybe I really lack English. You tell it very neatly, I just learned to write stories in Indonesian, and I will follow your story style.
No, don't worry, you said it splendidly!!
Thank you for your understanding.
interesting post. you write well makes our readers follow to the end. thank you for sharing .
Thank you for reading!
You are welcome. do not forget the upvote;)