I was on borrowed time. Things were getting hairy in this place. I genuinely had no idea how much longer it would be before I was shanked in the shower or dry-felched in my sleep.
All I could do was keep my guard up.
It was increasingly difficult to do so now though. The fat kid, the most dangerous one who never used to move from his chair had found his feet and whenever I turned, it seemed like he was there, grinning like a demented menace- monkey.
I suspected with the fat kid's new found mobility that contraband was getting in somehow. It wasn't unusual now to hear the skinny kid screaming and begging for one more sweetie.
We've all got different ways of doing the time.
I wandered into the mess hall. Something was going down for sure. The skinny kid was huddled down with the fat kid. They were whispering.
Of course, I say the fat kid. He wasn't so fat now though. It was melting away leaving just a stocky felon in its place.
I kept an eye on them as I sat at the mess table.
The guard banged a plastic bowl of slop down in front of me. It looked like dirty water with cooked spunk in it.
Porridge.
She announced gleefully.
I smiled, best to keep to her good side. I pretended to have a mouthful. Making those silly mmm sounds that idiots make when they eat.
It was enough to fool her. She moved off.
I looked over at the other two. It had gone quiet. Too quiet.
Damn. The fat kid wasn't there, just the skinny kid with a sleekit grin on her face as if she had put salt in a Slug's tea.
Hey, where's the other one?
I said in some alarm. My sixth sense jangling like one of Santa's reindeer's doing the do.
Come here a minute?
Said the skinny girl innocently.
Yeah right.
I still couldn't see the fat kid. I was getting so nervous that I was starting to make arse-pastry.
No, seriously, come down for a minute. I want to show you something.
Every fibre of my being screamed that this was a trap and to get out of there. I ignored the alarm bells and got down on my knees beside her.
What is it?
She didn't answer, just threw her head back and laughed madly.
What, what is it!?
I looked to my left and right, nothing.
The skinny kid pulled her head forward, still cackling and pointed over my shoulder.
Hammer Time!!
She yelled with glee.
I looked behind me. Too late! I saw the fat kid rush me, yelling, hammer raised high.
I raised a hand but crack it got me right on the head. I feel to the floor, vision blurring.
The fat kid stood over me and smiled sadistically before he raised the hammer once more.
It fell and there was blackness.
Is this the introduction to the adventures of the "nephew" of Uncle Boom??
Oh man, I just got back from the beer and cheese fest and when I make the post I am literally calling it The Coolest Post I've Ever Made and dedicating it to you--they have a beer called Boom Scotch A Locha, what are the fucking odds of that??? Hahaha!! I loved it!
Hehe, that does sound utterly amazing!! I hope it was. I can't wait to see it!!! That's quite the funky name as well, has me giggling and wanting to try it!!
A lullaby version wouldn't go amiss.
Might be less painful!
Thor in the making....
I never thought of that, lol!
Your suspicions were correct, it was in fact a trap.
Yes indeed, it is all clear now!
Oh he is well on his way to learning how to give a good thrashing with a cane!
Hahahaha, not half!!
To be sure...many a demented menace-monkey have grown into full-functioning adults...it's the wait that hurts ;0)
The wait is a bad one! Says me in the current house of chaos and screams;!
This turned out quite to be a horror, sadistic story. I hope that you are alright after being hit by the hammer. Upvoted!
Hehe, it's alright. It's just a little kids wooden one. It hurt but no lasting damage :0)
Now, how to introduce Uncle Boom into this story, before Thursday, of course.
That will fix those two nicely.
That would be those two stopped!
well, this was a dark one sir! Have you been drinking bad beer, perchance? Kidding, actually like the dark side sometimes!
If only there was dark beer!! Lol ;0)
Agh I love this - once again I can see this in my mind's eye - you have a great way of looking at things . You still have a lot of ;hammer time left - you better keep them happy. The 'fat' kid have grown a lot.
He has indeed and he loves that bloody hammer!!!
Children, little psychopaths, they are.
They should be banned, banned!
Perhaps he read some of your spammer comments....
Maybe he is a spammer!!!
I remember that skinny kid, used to be a trusted sidekick of yours I'm pretty sure. Loyalty is hard to come by after a few years in the gulags I suppose.
Yeah, trust and loyalty go out of the barred window!!
Ugh. I knew he was going to run the place in no time! Now's the time to grip that soap tightly. Don't drop it unless you want to get hammered in.
He is hammer mad!!
Too bad you guys aren't Irish.. The Mountain couldn't be called McHammer. Oh well, he'll just have to settle with MacHammer instead.
Hammer time!
Ooh you've got my mind in knots, trying to figure out how felching could ever be dry... Actually as I typed, I did think of one possibility... Either way, boak!
Haha, aye, it without be utterly boak!!! :0D
O my goodness ok apparently I know nothing - had to google the word.............. ugh nasty ..... nooooooooo just not right
It's awful isn't it, such foulness!!
Ooh.. always watch the fat ones... they are the dangerous ones lol
They are, what my dad always taught me and he was right!!
@meesterboom in these situations the old friendships take different course, there are no friends in these pavilions, we will see what actions there will be with the fat boy, when he regains lucidity
Many thanks for another excellent reading
I wish you a prosperous week
Cheers man! Everything will be fine in the morning I am sure!
'Can't touch this'...whoa whoa whoa whao...Hammer Time!
Love it..."arse-pastry" I mean, the imagery :)
Imagery is my middle name!! :0D
Skinny kid needs better training !!! imo
xxx D :-))
;-)
This is very good for the mind , consider to give it when things get to wicked.
Skinny kid does but she never stops moving!
Cor that looks a lovely brew!
Yes sir , it is , as a matter fact !
There's a feminine part too.
"All good things consist of 2 ,
say brethren in a relaxed atmosphere at the bar"
And I believe all great things consists of 3 or a lot more. :-))
Also one from heaven (got some doubts , but you never know) ,
And a sweety too , but that's rather not recommended,
after all things have to stay acceptable. xxDD
grtz , Rodenbah ;-) (lovely echo's in my mind , lol)
Wow, they all look great. I will be keeping an eye out for these. I am quite fond of a funky beer!! ;0D
Will take a snapshot of a splendid extensive funky beer chart next time.
So many groovy breeds.
Have a great day !
I will and you too!!
I never stopped humming it throughout writing the post!
I haven't stopped humming it since the 90's.
True, me neither, on and off :0)
haha! sir meesterboom! gripping story again, dang menace monkeys. You can't never let your guard down!
Never let it down or they will find a way in!!!
Crikey!
And then some!
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