Get up! Get up!! Get downstairs!!!
My jailer banged the edge of the cot that I shared with a couple of other inmates. I got to my feet quickly. I knew better than to resist. Inmates that resisted got a tongue-lashing. Sometimes worse.
I traipsed downstairs into the mess hall. The other inmates were already there looking miserable. There was an illness running amok through the prison and in our wing we all had it. Except for that damn guard.
I slumped at the mess table and surveyed the other inmates.
There was a fat kid, ropes of green snot hanging from his nose. Occasionally I would wipe them for him. The Guard got annoyed if I didn't.
The other kid was a skinny girl, Lady. I think she had designs on running the joint. Pfft. Not while I am still breathing sister. There were two others. The twins. They never spoke and ran around on all fours making miaowing noises and shitting in the outside yard.
I was gonna catch up with the twins later, they hadn't paid me my cigarettes in some time and I can't be seen to be weak.
The sadistic guard slammed some burnt bread down in front of me.
Eat up. You're gonna need your strength.
There was more menace than kindness in those words. I mumbled something that sounded agreeable to keep on her good side.
The skinny girl, Lady, sauntered up to the table and slammed her plate down. The same burnt bread for her. She scowled at me. I could see the illness ravaging her like the rest of us.
Eat your bread.
I instructed. We might have our issues but I didn't want to lose any of my guys to this place.
She glared up at me insolently through a hank of matted hair.
Why do I have to do what Daddy says? Maybe it's my turn to be Daddy.
I let my burnt bread drop to the plate. So this was it, the power play I had been fearing. I hadn't expected her to pull it when we were all smitten by illness.
I looked for some cutlery but they didn't give us anything in this joint that we could use as weapons. Looked like it was just gonna be hand to hand. Mano el mano.
I stood, my chair screeching back. Lady jumped nimbly down from her chair too. She grinned, a sadistic slash of a thing that cut across her face.
I'm going to be Daddy now.
Then she came for me. She was fast, barreling into my stomach. I grunted but recovered quickly and wrapped my arms around her waist and hoisted her into the air.
She scrabbled, fingers digging into my neck, hitting a nerve. Yyyyaargh. I sunk to one knee, half dropping her.
We stared at each other, chests heaving, I clenched my fists.
Then leapt and crashed into her taking her down to the floor. She squealed, vulnerable for the first time. She gouged at my eyes. I pulled my head away and then pummeled here with tiklz. An ancient Japanese nerve strike.
Stop, Daddy. Stop, Stop!!!
It was my turn to grin now, I readied the death strike.
Guys?!?! Get back to the table and eat your breakfast?!?!
It was the guard. She wasn't best pleased.
We slunk back to the mess table and once again sat across from each other. The guard flumped down beside us with her own burnt bread. Watching our every move.
The skinny girl avoided my eye. When the guard looked away for a moment, she finally looked up.
I'm the Daddy.
I mouthed silently at her.
At least for another day.
LOVED that!
Hehe, glad to hear it :O)
I love these stories! But you should know better than to think you can prevail over the Skinny Girl... they have an unfair advantage and I'm sure I don't have to point out what it is! By the by... for your next beer post-
The world's most horrendous brew (from Vietnam). The "export" always made me laugh... only the taste dead or insane would want to buy this stuff. It tastes like a mixture of turpentine and water buffalo piss!!!
Good lord. It has the look of death about it!! Do you keep it for cleaning the drains? :OD
No I use Liquid Fire (hydrochloric acid) it's less toxic and doesn't harm the pipes as bad!
Hahaha, I can quite believe you!
https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/33_Export
Aha, it has quite the illustrious background!
Well, you can't say the same for the flavour! My French is primitive at best but I see it's available in the UK- so if you're feeling suicidal...
Haha, I aint buying it!
I had it in Vietnam. I was like 19 and NONE of the other GI's were drinking it so I decided to check it out. I couldn't believe they were allowed to call it beer!
I cant believe you had to check out what no-one else was drinking!
So you took the burnt bread to regain your strength... Lol
Nice write @meesterboom👍
Gotta keep that strength up! ;O)
Haha brilliant! this reminds me of the TV advert a while back with the kid interrogating her dad about the haribos lol "sign the fession!" xD
Lol, bet she never had a Dad that looked so jaily in a picture :OD
Nope, to be fair he looked pretty terrified of her! Haha you look like you can hold your own...for at least another year! xD
Hehe, by then I will be out and the world will tremble!
What a life. An insight into the possible lifestyle in prision.
It is, a grey and grim place! ;O)
... where you fight mano a mano with a Lady? Really? You are not Dady Cool.
Hehe, tickle fights are allowed! ;O)
someone needs to brush up on their cooking skills, one cannot live by "burnt bread" alone!
Lol, in this sick household it seems to be all that anyone has energy to make!
Missed steemit for a couple of days,so I'm not really following , save me trolling on your blog meesterboom, but you weren't locked up, were you?
Best guess, locked up by lady boom😂
Lol, no. Although I made a good picture to look like an inmate!
My whole family have been laid low by a horrible chest infection bug. We are all suffering and have been trapped in the house. The cabin fever is setting in bad :O)
Aw, speedy recovery to you all.
Yeah the picture was really sly :)
Sounds like a fine day in Scotland!
Ice storms!! Its rubbish!
aww man, that sucks, no wonder the feeling like you are in prison. Pretty dreary here in Montana also. Chin up!
The chin is up, 50% of the family is improving. Things can only get better!
Good one today Mr. Boom! The family must feel better if they are into roughhousing. I think the good lady needs a new toaster...
Cheers! I think there might be a slight improvement all round in our conditions!
Well done dear friend @meesterboom! Marking territory! That's what it's about, now you know who's in charge there.
Excellent reading dear friend, thank you very much
I wish you a beautiful nights
Cheers @jlufer!
You have to mark it and keep it yours! :O)
Ahh Sundays at Boom County, never a dull moment, though at least there was no hard labor on this day!
No hard labour, we are all too ill!! Although I suspect it is coming. There are a mountain of rocks to be broken! :OD
Ahh, is that the inspiration for the 'guns'? Breaking rocks is a good way to get rid of....
Bingo Wings! I should know, I've done that, should have put it on my list LOL
Hehe, ironically, since I have determined to get rid of the guns I had the great data them have been stricken by various illnesses since so all about ten times the size I was!!
those guards, they take all the fun away :P
They do. Always strutting about cracking skulls! ;O)
You both sure can fight! Both you and the Lady can go act in a fighting movie. Upvoted!
Hehe, cheers!
Hahaha this is wonderful and so so hilarious. Something that happens in a lot of households and you made it sound so entertaining with your words. :)
Lol, thank you. I was quite fond of this one :O)
And now I am a fan too. You are such an entertaining writer.
Hahaa...who's the Daddy???..I'm the Daddy!!! That's a great story 😂
Hehe, cheers lass :O)
Cool story. Maybe burnt bread was acceptable here for many untold reasons. Lol!
There is always a reason :O)
Love it! I finally convinces my husband to read your work. He's a software developer, but your humor reminds me very much of his style. Anyway, this story was the tipping point, being that we've also had the crud all week. Although he was barely conscious (you know how these illnesses always seem to attack the menfolk more aggressively, right? 😜) This post evoked a hearty chuckle! Great timing!
Its funny you say that. I suspect that virus's and bacteria over the aeons have evolved to specifically attack the hunter gatherer men folk to put them out of action.
We take the heat for the good lady folk :O)
lol!
:OD
wow interesting story 😃😄
@meesterboom sir thanks for sharing 😊
@meesterboom she is my class fellow, can you remove the downvote :p please.
She is new, i forgot to tell her about this.
Hmm, because it's you. Yes. I hope you tell her what people think of comment spamming though
she just joined two days ago, and yeah i'm telling her :p I told her you are very strict :p
Thats me :O)
She just asked me, my reputation is dropped to 26 from 27 :p when i checked her id on steemd.com, it was you who downvoted her comment :p then i requested you to remove that downvote, that's your kindness Sir!
burnt bread is not so bad. I have eaten one before :)
I'm living on it! :OD
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STOPThere is something very important @meesterboom, and that is that the energy of your family is not finished it by anything or anyone; a very active family, very difficult to maintain in prison. Those games and moments with the children are priceless. Greetings.
Entertaining writing.
When the cat's away, the mice will play!
Lol, exactly!
jail time
good article @meesterboom
thank you for sharing
No vote?
lol, ladies prison.
hahahaha :v just watched this video :p
That was horrible @uncleboom.
Its a great video eh!
yeah, yeah, it was great, but it was scary too :/
Lol, nonsense! Funny is what I was going for!
eeeeeeeeee! but it scared me :/
Do you usually down vote people who comment on your posts?
The ones who dont vote for the post yes. Comment spammers. Looking for upvotes on their comments.
It seems harsh but someone has to do something, its a fucking plague
your post wasn't that good for an upvote, sorry my comment was so offensive.
Lol, it was good enough for a comment though eh!!
I have been watching your commenting antics on steemd
Pathetic. Seems like you comment on a lot of posts that are not worthy of an upvote. Fucking spammer
to be honest I debated commenting but I had read the whole thing so I wanted to make a reply. I just didn't have much to say about it, nobody bats 1000.
lol thats really something else..."MaammaaÈ
Hahha the down vote was worth watching that video lol
:0)
OMG this had me in tears of laughter again....Everything is making me laugh these days...think I'm losing my mind. If you like movies, comedies in particular you should to and see The Game. I was crawling of laughter in the movie during some scenes. But sometimes laughing is good for us. Have a great week ahead my friend.
HAhahaha, that really looks awesome!!