I was late into work this morning because of an exceptionally disturbed night with the little boom. Whether it was teething, the phase of the moon or just general badness he was up all night screaming.
Needless to say, I wasn't in the best of moods by the time I arrived at work.
With our fantastic hot desk policy, my usual desk was already taken by a serious looking grey man.
He was serious enough and unknown enough for me to leave him well be and find a seat elsewhere. Unfortunately, that seat was in the midst of a clutch of Java developers who dislike my sort intensely.
When I say my sort, I mean someone who is handsome, successful and who has obviously inserted their penis into a lady's Jeffrey on many an occasion.
One of them in particular, Bum-Chief, gave me the snark eye as I sat down.
I ignored him and plugged in my headphones before getting stuck into work.
Sometime later I noticed my laptop was running low on juice.
That's odd? I thought. It was sitting in a docking station which should be charging it. There should be no need for me to be faffing around with power cables and the like as if it were the 1980's.
Something must be wrong with the cable. With a world-weary sigh, I got up from my chair and went down on all fours to check the power cable under the desk.
As I was faffing around on my knees under the desk with the power cable for my docking station, I heard a voice.
Nice underpants, BoomDawg!
This was followed by a girlish snigger.
I pulled my head out from under the desk. It was Bum-Chief.
Eh? I beg your pardon?
Said I in some puzzlement.
Bum-Chief pointed at the waistband of my boxers which due to my under desk crawling was visible above my jeans.
I said, nice pants... You looking for a husband?
Bum-Chief snorfled with laughter.
Says the man staring at my bum and commenting on my underwear?
I made to go back under the desk.
Your pants are pink!
Yelled Bum-Chief as if he had ejaculated into a soft fruit.
They are purple actually. A light purple I grant you but purple.
I said with the suave confidence of a man wearing purple underpants.
I bet you say that to all the boys!
Crowed Bum-Chief as if he was scoring a goal in front of an appreciative crowd.
I opened my mouth to give him some snark back but was interrupted my El Jefe who had come thumping over.
What's all the noise about?
He snapped.
I pointed at Bum-Chief.
He touched my bum!
I squeaked in outrage.
Bum-Chief went pale with terror.
I didn't!! I didn't! I just said he had nice pants?!
El Jefe grimaced as if he was doing a particularly gnarly poo.
You said he had nice pants?!? What is wrong with you?
He demanded as if Bum-Chief could possibly sum that up in a few words.
Bum-Chief made an odd strangled-sounding noise.
Right. Well, bloody keep it down the pair of you... And you...
He pointed at Bum-Chief with a stern finger.
Keep your opinions on other peoples underwear to yourself in future.
He stomped off shaking his head.
I looked over at Bum-Chief and stuck my tongue out like a mature adult.
Nyah!
Your life is hilarious I think you must live in a perpetual playground of early teen boys waiting for a rumble to errupt at any point, and a very G rated rumble of the 'tongue sticking out/ laughing at pants' variety. You kill me! @meesterboom and well done on the purple pants. You shade have said, "Their Spring Lilac" for the colour :)
I do like a childish riposte!!
That is a splendid colour to christen them. I dare say I will manage to shoe that into the next conversation!
You have the MOST fun at work. I never seem to have the adventures quite like you. Just mundane...work. (Maybe I need new under's...)
Pink pants make all the difference!!
Perfect opportunity for a massive wedgy. You lucky I am not in your office, not that I would do such a thing. Offices can be fun and it takes all sorts to get a good balance. I am sure bum chief unplugged the plug so he could see you on all fours.
He might have done. He could have cut to the chase and slipped me a twenty and I would have farted on a piece of paper for him to sniff!!
Lol. I was offered a cupcake the one day from this rough girl at work and had no idea what a cup cake was until it was too late. Filthy bastards. We could auction the piece of paper off maybe?
I dear it would collect to big a sum if auctioned ;0)
The cheeky swine! She was rough indeed!!!
He deserved it!
But I have a question....I think my daughter is a java developer? She does apps and stuff and learned java....that's about as far as I go with the lingo... but does that make her someone who would dislike your sort? what is your sort anyway?!!!
re: the lingo....Remember, I'm from the olden days...I learned BASIC on ticker tape (shhhh! stop laughing!)
Hehe, I am a tester. Developers are always slightly condensing to the testers. It's in the blood, the geeky make ones are the worst. Lol, I'm generalising a tad :0)
HOpefully the beautiful female developers are are the nicest of the bunch ;0)
I do think that they are!!
;0)
You look lovely as a pink flower. In a very masculine
pinklight purple sort of way.So this guy is fixated on underwear, is he? Fixated on butts...like someone that has poop on their mind...like someone that would poop on the bathroom floor! Ah-ha! I now suspect Bum-Chief is the culprit in the bathroom mystery ;)
Hehe, you never know although I think he is too uptight for it. But the seed had been planted! I will be watching!!!
Thats right - payback - if you've got it flaunt it hahaha
Gotta be done!!
O I think you keep everybody on their toes. Regarding the stupid desk policy - why do everybody just not still sit at their same desk every day?
It seems to be the latest trendy thing to do. It's hellish and everyone hates it. We also have standing desks. Mad looking things!
Bosses and their ideas.....
Lol. You look like something I saw on ayahuasca in that photo. But seriously, hot desks for permanent staff are the worst. Why???
It's a relatively new thing. We have too many people and too little space!! It sucks though
At least he didn't snap your waistband...that would have been way too kindergartenish lol.
Haha, that would have been far too personal!!
I think Bum-Chief is colourblind as he did not know the difference between pink and light purple. In addition to that, he is also a pervert for commenting on your underpants. HAHAAHAHAHAHAH! Upvoted!
A colour blind pervert, there is almost nothing worse!!! :0D
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haha! this is hilarious sir meesterboom and that place you work at has the oddest collection of freaky people. They make you look totally normal! lol.
I sometimes dread the thought that I am as freaky as the rest of them!!
I sometimes dread the
Thought that I am as freaky
As the rest of them!!
- meesterboom
I'm a bot. I detect haiku.
haha! but your dreading that proves that you aren't, at least in my mind!
I hope that's the case. lol.
I hope that too!
I'm sure we're right. If you were a freak The Good Lady never would have married you!
(unless she's freaky too). But she doesn't sound freaky at all.
She is very grounded, poor her!
lol! SOMEBODY needs to be!