Today in work there was a relaxed, upbeat atmosphere about the place. The sun was shining and it seemed that Spring was well into getting jiggy with it.
My horrifying lurgy has now almost completely receded into nothingness and I feel full of mad vigour and joy.
Although I have never been the biggest fan of working for the man. I must confess to a certain joy in escaping the plague house that home had become and getting back out into the real world again.
Even if that meant getting back to the coalface.
I am so happy that it has been a struggle not to constantly snarl and laugh like a wolf that is having its belly tickled.
That kind of behaviour never goes down too well in the workplace.
And of course, you simply cannot put a price on the freedom I have when out of the house to drink vast lakes of coffee without the good lady casting a stern eye at me.
So there I was, in work, happy as a pig in poo as they say.
Nearby some folk were discussing the origin of some Scottish slang words and the air was full of such delights as:
Gadge. Which is some kind of dirty beggar.
Radge. To go crazy. Can also describe a mad person - He's a pure radge.
Ever keen to participate I piped up.
Don't forget fud. It's a classic.
It is a slang word for vagina and is most often used in an affectionate but disparaging way. As in, he's a pure fud, accompanied by a wry shaking of the head.
Whilst we ruminated on many of these fine expressions my mobile rang. It was the good lady.
Hello lady chops, what can I do for ya?
It's the little boom, he has these little spots on his mouth and hands. They are causing him some grief. I think it's hand, foot and mouth.
Hand, foot and mouth you say??! Well that will go a long way to explaining those plooks on my penis!
plook - Scottish word for spot/pimple
I said this in a grand booming voice which perhaps was way louder than even I had meant it to be. The office around me for quite some distance became rather still.
The good lady made a harrumphing noise like an galloping stoat.
I swiftly made my goodbyes and hung up. I looked around, assaulted by the sudden sound of silence.
That was a joke obviously.
I stated to the multitudes of people who were now avoiding my gaze as if they too might get plooks on the nethers just by catching my eye.
Somewhere someone tittered.
Plooks?
Somewhere else someone sniggered.
On his what?
Ah, some days I guess you win and others you have to accept that you will be denying having an STD for months to come. Happy days!
Every day for a month, you'll be arriving to the office with "hey Boom! Howz yer plooks?" and the whole place will explode with laughter! sorry to laugh at your expense, but strikes me as totes funny.
I think you are absolutely correct. As soon as I said it I thought oh you diddy, this will come back on ya and sure enough. Ole plooky penis here. sigh
Repeat after me - it is better to create STD humour at SOMEONE ELSE's expense...
Lordy ho, I know I know!!!
Hehe, a little rhyme to pass the time.
Eh, did you see it then, it happened again?
Aaaahhh!!
Next thing, you'll be entering poetry competitions. Mind you, that could make them a lot more entertaining. Apart from my sister's poems, most poetry goes right over my head.
Hehe, I used to enter them. I liked a bit of poetry. All my stuff was quite simple and straightforward right enough!
This reminds me of my jobs under the relationship of dependence, dear friend @meesterboom when working in the office, often a piesa that when talking on the phone nobody is listening, however there are usually many people waiting for your conversation, sometimes you have to be careful with the jokes.
I wish you a beautiful afternoon
You are completely right. You think all is well and there are people with their ears outstretched waiting for something funnY!!
How the hell do I keep finding vaginas here pretty much all the time, and every time they seem to fit in exactly right????
Its the Scots, they are obsessed with them... Alright then, it's just me... :OD
Oh, I used to work as a bartender for many years and the “jokes” and “innuendos” that flynaround a bar are unreal. I look back and think it’s amazing there weren’t harassment charges being filed every night. Those jokes don’t go over so well in the school environment. Gotta be hush hush there.
Hehe, I love the fact you work in a school now. I dont know why but I have a vision of you as being wild! It must be the bronco bit :O)
Hello @meesterboom, we hope that Little Boom recovers quickly and as for the office, as you say, you returned to reality: to the mysteries, the gossip, the sarcasm, etc. Well, that's the way most offices are. That gossip of the supposed ETS, will be at the offices for several days. You must resist! ... Greetings
HAha, I always resist... Until I dont!
Keeping the comment short..don't wanna catch those plooks, ya know ;)
You had better steer well clear!! :OD
There's only one thing better than rude jokes and that is getting cough by unexpected observers/listeners while making them! :D
That is true! :OD
Wao, I almost drowned in the write-up, your day was obviously a swell day....... Lol, the part they all avoided your gaze as if they might catch some plooks too on their nethers
Thats right, they had the fear big time!
I think you might be suffering from foot in mouth disease except you forgot to insert foot before saying Plooks. Now you'll have a job on your hands since the more you deny the more they'll think it is true.
Ahahaaa! Yes, that is exactly it. Foot in mouth is definitely it!!
Plooks! Harsh! Now the Good lady won’t be letting you use the fud for a while I bet!
Haha, is there were plooks!!! ;0)
LOL! Chortle, giggle, snort ... plooks .... LMAO! :D
It's a great expression :0D
I remember when I was staying in Kansas City, spring always makes me feel more alive. Everything just starts to feel better. One time end of May, we got a freak snow.
Those freak snows I don't mind sometimes because drop down you know that it is truly the last one before summer!
That's what we thought when we had snow in April then:-)
Was there an eldtrichly timed silence that amplified your grand booming voice that was probably louder than you intended? :D
LoL!
Yes indeed!! Poor Moi!!
Did I read STD? It is a delicate topic for me lately. Please.
Lol, that's what they might have thought. Thankfully there isn't! I hope it's not too sensitive!!
Hahahaha thank you for always cheering me up with your posts. Plooks is such a funny word and I'll definitely be sharing the plooks on the --- joke with my husband.
I am flag to have been of some amusement! :0)
I haven't a clue what you are on about, but I love the way you are saying it. :)
Hehe, why thank you very much!!
Any custard with that Spotted Richard?
Only the finest, only the finest!
A little later I will wake up and find myself in someone's imagination.
Where will you find yourself when you wake up?
Again in your own, not in someone else. .
HAhhahahahahahhahahahahhhahs!! Clever!
:D
OMG, HAHAHA! LOL!
Way to big, haha
☺☺who is the good lady.....
She be the wife...
Ahahahhah...awesome.....say hello to her...tell her her tales keeps us company on steemit.
Ewwww where have you been putting it. Unclean Unclean lol :)
Hey has Mrs Boom ever played connect the dots err plooks?...could give a whole new meaning to foreplay...lol
upvoted and resteemed!
https://steemit.com/adsactly/@louismata/fear-the-heart-heartbleed-steemitschool
Indeed, a link drop... On my post!??!