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If there is such a thing as a dog's arse I'm sure Jesus will show us the way. Let us be diligent in prayer.

Wait, are we praying to the dogs arse or to Jesus? I get so confused. Which one is more likely to grant us our three wishes?

I'm as confused as you are now. I think if we just ask the genie to make sure all dogs go to heaven with a bottle of brandy when they die then it'll be fine.

That's how we will find Jesus, such a selfless act!!!