I was still on the trail of the Shadow I.T.
It had been an even rougher week than the last. I kept asking questions and following up leads but my face was starting to hurt from the doors that had been slammed on it. It was starting to put a strain on my marriage as I arrived home, night after night from work, smelling of cheap caffeine and frustration.
You gotta let it go, baby? This Shadow I.T. thing. It's messing with your head, like a labrador eating vegan cheesecake.
Every time I would take off my fedora and hang up my long coat whilst shaking my head.
Lass, if it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, then it's a fucking duck. And it won't be the first time that I have fucked a duck just to hear it quack.
But what does that even mean?
She would cry.
I would shake my head even more and lock myself in the study with some Irish coffee and some smoky blues.
Then it happened, one morning I stopped in Java Joe's for a pick me up on the way to work. The man behind the counter wasn't named Joe but he served a hell of a coffee.
I had just finished my second double when trouble walked in.
She was a leggy broad. Like a camel but with skinnier feet and less spitting. She sidled up to the counter next to me and ordered a double Hot Lava Java. I couldn't help but nod approvingly. My eyes drifting for a moment over her humps.
She turned and faced me once she had her expresso in hand.
You looking for something?
I raised an eyebrow.
Who's asking.
She raised an eyebrow even higher than I just had. Then pushed a slip of paper over the countertop.
One-eyed Jack sends his regards...
She got up and left. Slowly I unfolded the slip of paper. On it was scrawled two words.
I threw down a twenty and swiftly left. Outside it was raining hard. I gazed up at the top of the building I worked on. From way down below I could make out a shape. walking back and forth. This was it. Time to crack this case wide open. I crossed the road and flashed my pass before barreling up the stairs to the roof.
Twenty minutes later I pushed open the door to the rooftop. I was slightly out of breath after climbing all 36 flights of stairs. No matter. This thing ends now, I thought grimly.
Through the rain I could see a man pushing a brush about. For all intents and purposes, sweeping. I wasn't fooled. I approached him.
Alright mate?
I ventured.
He looked up at me, rainwater slicking down his face.
I've seen things you wouldnae believe mate.
He swept a bit more, a seemingly pointless task in the rain.
Bins oan fire in the back alley. Tramps pissin in the dark near the front gate. This job, it means nothin. Time tae fly.
His head bowed forward. I took a tentative step forward.
You alright mate?
He looked up.
Aye man, just rolling a joint.
I could see now he was and using his head to shelter the rain from his hands. It looked like this was a dead end, like every other lead. I swore and stomped back in the building to my desk.
I decided this was it. The good lady was right. I was getting nowhere looking for the mysterious Shadow I.T. It was time to give it up. Go back to just being an ordinary Joe in and ordinary office. I opened my email.
There was only one unread item flashing away. It was a meeting invite from El Jefe.
It was titled.
Shadow I.T.
My heart began to race. The game was back on! The meeting was scheduled for next Tuesday. I would have to wait but at least I had something concrete. I felt better than I had in weeks.
I quickly pulled out my phone and tapped a message to the good lady.
Polish your panjanno lady, tonight its party time.
So happy to hear you are not just an "ordinary Joe" anymore...lol...as if!
HEhehe, One a Friday I aint thats for sure. I think thats due to the almost hallucinatory amount of coffee I take to celebrate the oncoming weekend hehe!
While I always vote, I don't always stop to comment on the meesterboom posts. But when I do, it's just to here them Quack.
Get out dat rain homie!
It's hard rain!! ;O)
Yes! Now we finally will know... Although, comming from El Jeffe, dunno. It might be a diversion. Why would the dark layer trust him to open up pandora's box?
Oh wait! Got it figured out...
But, as Uncle Boom always ends: A gentleman never tells.
Have a great weekend mate!
I hope you have a cracker too. I am quite fascinated by the meeting!
You probably have the right of it though! I thinkI know how it might go myself!
Thanks, can imagine you look forward to the meeting. And I'm sure you know how it'll go. :-)
TGIF! Don't need any coffee. Just the beer. Forget Shadow IT. You'll have it solved before Tuesday, Boom!
I might have, or I might be incredibly hungover!!
Wayhay! I did not expect that you were still on the trail of the mysterious Shadow I.T.! This has turned into a gripping noir of a tale! What was a conspiracy post has turned into a hardboiled, balls to the wall, detective story. So happy to see that the good lady is as supportive of this as you are to here Red Tent-ery.
What awaits Boomsby in that ominous meeting? Surely, El Jefe is just a red fish used to throw you off the scent. Will they be whipping out One-Eyed Jacks and have a manly swordfight? Tune in next Tuesday to find out! Oh hey, you have a gum stuck to your shoe...
A manly swordfight, that's how all good situations should end. Perhaps it will and someone will be pronged. The good lady of course can't stop being soo supportive!! Hehe
Really? Here I thought that good situations all finish with happy endings?
SO SUPPORTIVE!! Positively oozing with it. I feel like you can gather it in jars and sell them online.
Panjanno?
This is not a word I've ever heard before, but in this context it could mean literally anything.
Ha! 5 minutes later and I only just understood the leggy broads message.... these stories have so many goddamn layers of amaze.
Hehehe, I try to add a bit more than it seems at first to them. IT makes is more fun in the writing! :OD
And I made up panjanno!
Well then, excellent word-smithery... in this case I'm going to take it as "a gentlewoman's lady parts".
You'll get that Shadow IT/I just know you will...
And in that case you would be absolutely right!! Bless the gentlewomen! :O)
Nice post. I enjoyed it, but no steamy saxophone theme reference? Perhaps some Dragnet or Perry Mason next time to set the mood? Ha ha.
Oh dammit!! You know on the other two I have the mike hammer sax solo one at the bottom and I forgot for this one! I am going to edit and put it in!! Cheers!!
I'm still laughing at the last episode. And moment with the slip of paper lol.
Please more of it, it's very good, man!
Hehe, thank you! I shall try to keep it coming :O)
Great story as always. I really look forward to your daily blog. OK, I was LMAO about "just to hear it quack." :) :) :)
@tincanjunction
Why thank you very much! Just to hear it quack. Iliked that myself!
Can't wait for the contents of the email to be revealed! Yea the great humps are great to look at man. Upvoted!
Hehe, Cheers. It's not long now and it will all be clear!
Oh, man does this bring back memories. Of all the gin joints in all the towns, in all the world, she waddles into mine.
We had something great you see. We were in Paris.
Who are you really, and what were you before? What did you do and what did you think?" I asked.
"QUACK!"
We toasted with champagne.
"Here's looking at you kid." I said with a wink as our champagne glasses touched.
"QUACK!"
I thought it was love. Then she flew away with all my bread. The only thing she left me with was a stain on my heart and the hood of my car.
Ah indelible stain!!!
Them duck's can break a man's heart!
Definitely this mystery of the Shadow I.T. It is a big problem for you; since it may be affecting your relationship as a couple; Be careful with this point because you may be neglecting the good lady ... Now this mystery becomes interesting because it seems to be nearing its end. I already need to know what is or who is the Shadow I.T ... Sometimes it seems to me that it is a conspiracy to get you out of the office. We are waiting for the next episode.
I think you might be right in that the secrets of the Shadow I.T. might be almost ready to be exposed!
One-Eyed Jacks, the only film directed by Marlon Brando.
And a fine film too. Always a sucker for a western me!
What. What? WHAT?!
As much as I'd like to leave a witty or amusing comment, my brain keeps snagging on that XD
Good luck with the shadow IT, so are you being initiated or did El Jefe accidentally include you in that mailout XD
Well thats the thing isnt it? Who knows what it could be, Perhaps I will be an international superspy after all!!
HEhe, I love ducks! :OD
There's loving ducks and loving ducks and there's probably laws or something against one of them, not sure why XD
That line killed me 😂😂
I’m always nervous when things come from el jefe!! Coffee is an incredible thing from the reports ive gotten! What a powerful drug! 😜
IT can drive a man to the very edge of no return!! :OD
where's the beer saturday duck... I mean .. chico :D peace!~
sorry I've read so many duck duck duck
hahaha
whats the secret of the shadow IT? and are dogs even allowed to eat cheesecakes? and vegan? quite a picky labrador that would be!
Or it would be a labrador that had been fooled and was disgusted by its owners!!
What is the secret of the Shadow IT, Iam bound to find out!
Don't go to that meeting! You'll never be heard from again.
Sheeeit... Is it one of those disappearings I will be heading into!!
I was getting lots of funny images in my head from ". . . like a labrador eating vegan cheesecake." Great read--thanks for sharing it with us.
Thats exactly what i hope when I stick in things like that heheh. Cheers for reading!
Love your posts, they are entertaining and funny. Keep it up.
Excellent, cheers mate!
Waiting expectantly for your #beersaturday post though!
No elevator? That's really suspicious.
There are four. But sometimes a man has to take back the streets. Or stairs in this case
Whatever it takes to get to the bottom of this Shadow I.T. thing!
I seriously read it, surprised to read it seems happy weekend for you, I am happy to hear it and take one of the essence of that writing :)
I am happy you read it, thank you!
you are welcome, I am looking forward to your next post :)
36 flights of stairs! You are one fine specimen of a man, mr boom. My legs would give up on me after 2 lol
Hehe, I might have stopped several times!
Hey, there's nothing wrong with vegan cheesecake. Also, now I'm wondering what the difference between cheap and expensive caffeine smells like. Hmm.
Vegan cheesecake is funny. Have you had it made with chickpea water? That's the one I had, oh how I smiled and mmmm'd ;0)
I confess I have not. I've only the cashew based ones and they are they are the bomb.
I like many these post loaded with mysteries dear friend @meesterboom, the mates begins the face two, see where it takes us.
Thank you very much dear friend, for the good work
I wish you a good night
Cheers @jlufer. It seems that life is not so dull after all. The mysteries shall be forced into the light!
THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE
Hearing the music again!
I pray that one day the music will stop!! :O)
Party hard :p I was though waiting for the that race episode part 2,
This is also awosum uncle boom.
Heheh, that race episide aint happening! :Op
Why ? :/ That's not fair :/ i wanted to read about your wining :/
Hehe, ultimately it was not about the winning but thank you for liking it so much that you wanted to see more! :O)
yeah, i want my favourite uncle boom to win :/
Never give up man but stop fucking ducks😂😂😂
Great blog again!
HAha, its only an occasional thing ;O)
Cheers dude!
After almost giving up on Shadow I.T., Shadow I.T., came to you, lovely story, thanks for sharing, gunning for more, love the way you twist things
Good things come to he who waits! Or goes chasing :O)
That was beautiful, fun fun fun! Love it :D
Your profile pic has changed again!! Thank you! :O)
It bugged when I tried to change the signature in my profile! Probably because I've cleared the files, cookies and cash in my browser. And then I couldn't find my previous avatar in the internet. It was a very sad moment. I liked it a lot by the way. It was perfectly square yellow face! :(
The new face is still quite good!! I keep meaning to update my profile pic and banner but never have time
You can't change your profile pic!!! How will we ever recognize you?
You have a point, how would I recognise myself!!!
Nice post, enjoyed it. I will have to go back and read the first 2 installments.
Thanks for sharing, cheers.
And cheers to you, Its the start of a modern classic ;O)
Climbing the 36 flirt stairs made me laugh. Since it has been rescheduled for next tuesday, you can finish it up before then
Amazing blog sir
@upvoted
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Manny Thanks!!!!!!!!@meesterboom.,Thumbs up.
I love to your post.^^
This is awesome. "And it won't be the first time that I have fucked a duck just to hear it quack." Fucking brilliant line 😂😂
(You gotta let it go, baby? This Shadow I.T.) nice flow @meesterboom,thumbs up