Hey Daddy, look! I know that boy, it's Frammond, he goes to my school.
The Little Lady let out an unearthly chuckle entirely unsuited to a nine-year-old girl.
I looked ahead. We were at a new forest play park and before us, various contraptions stretched ridiculously high into the treeline upon which children clambered and scampered with yelps of glee.
And why the evil laugh when you say that, little one?
I looked at her with a half-smile as if she were a lettuce in the supermarket with particularly crisp leaves.
Well, he is one of the shoe stealers in the School playground.
She snorted like something digging for truffles.
A shoe stealer? What do you mean?
She might be joking but the idea of her coming home one day minus one shoe and crying made my man-hackles rise. I gazed over at the little wretch wondering if I was going to have to set the dogs on him. Hiya! You coming over to play? The boy Frammond had caught sight of the Little Lady and was calling her over to some precarious looking scaffold with a rope bridge about twenty feet up. Yay, coming! The Little Lady tore off. I laughed at the excitement of the young and watched her go. It's an amazing age isn't it? Remarked some bearded chap wearing a Gilet nearby. He too was watching the kids in the park with a knowing Parenty smile. I smiled politely, even though the bastard was wearing a jacket without sleeves in the Scottish Springtime. The only time it is acceptable to wear a Gilet in Scotland is in the very heart of Winter, usually whilst chugging pints in a beer garden of a pub. It's a display thing. A bit like the feathered nonsense of a peacock but with more cigarettes and testosterone. Still, despite me not liking parents generally as they are all so child obsessed he looked an alright sort so I grunted a nod of something that sounded like friendly agreement. I mean they are pains in the arses, that is without a doubt but even at their worst, it's a magical age. Gilet carried on chatting as if we were old friends out at sea, hauling at a heavy fish-laden net together. Aye. They are ever so slightly less of a pain in the arse at this age. Which is not bad, maybe by the time they are 18 and leaving home they might be bearable. I said with a raised eyebrow to show that I didn't really mean it. Gilet barked out a laugh and slapped at my shoulder. How you doing anyway, I am Frammond's dad, Jake. Pleased to meet you! He stuck out his hand and I shook it even though something Covid fearing inside me screamed at me to run away from other humans. We shook heartily and chatted like real humans and not worn down nubs of humanity that parents of young children so often feel like. Some ten minutes later of bawdy jokes and shared cussing of jobs and working for a living, Jake motioned at Frammond and the Little Lady. So how do they know each other, School is it? Yeah, School. My daughter laughed when we arrived because Frammond is one of the Shoe Stealers in the playground. I laughed at the thought of someone being labelled a Shoe Stealer. I made to nudge Jake but noticed he had gone quite still and pale. I beg your pardon? He said snibbishly. The Little Lady laughed, she said, 'Daddy, Frammond is one of the Shoe Stealers in the playground.' I mean, she wasn't bothered. I presume it is just a daft playground game? I attempted a jokey smile and made to nudge him but thought better of it. Jake was now breathing heavily through his nostrils as if he were a dog gnawing at a bone that had penis meat on it. FRAMMOND. GET DOWN HERE... NOW! Jake yelled at his son like a fucking madman who had been served what was claimed to be a chicken korma for his in-flight meal. I stepped back slightly. Frammond came scampering over and Jake stormed up to him, grabbing him by the arm and hauling him away. As they left I could hear him bellowing about SHOES and STEALING. I looked after him in some disbelief. He had seemed like an alright guy. Then... Madness! Daddy, what happened with Frammond? The Little Lady yelled from a rope ladder up high. I shook my head and muttered under my breath so she couldn't hear. I have absolutely no fucking idea?!
for the humourless world travelling 'professionals' among you, I don't really have any dogs.
Hahahahahah!!! Thats what they do!! That is what the guy seemed to be getting so freaked out about! Crazy kid games!
Yowzers!!!
When it comes to parenting. Ask first, wait for the answer ... ask for clarification (it's never clear the first time) ... wait for the answer ... ask if that's the truth ... wait for the answer ... ask "If I asked your friend the same question, would I get the same answer?" ... wait for the answer ... ask if they can show you a video on their phone ...
At this point, if the child is freaking out, there's likely something to get concerned about - so return to question 1 to see if the answer has changed. If the child's basically asking if they can leave yet and isn't at all concerned, then you don't need to worry.
It's similar to the torture at Guantanamo, but without the beatings or the water boards.
Sometimes I think the beatings and the water torture would make it a whole lot easier.. 😃
She was laughing about it again today, a harmless thing by all accounts. Just seems his dad don't like it!
Maybe her dad is ashamed of his own foot fetish?!?!
Dang it .... I should NOT have Googled that for a Video.
Hi @meesterboom ,haaaaaaaa, you screwed up as they say out there, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, that happened for starting a conversation or could he say, for making friends with the man in question, let's look at the positive side, this child will not, will not steal shoes again, and I suppose that nothing else in his life, you saved the child's future, He will be a very honest man.
A hug
I guess I have learned a lesson in that I should never say anything, no matter how innocuous about someone else's brood! I am guessing his shoe stealing habit is now over! :OD
What a weird thing to do? Both the shoe stealing and the dads reaction.
Blame tiktok 😂 the home of all things crazy.
Isnt TikTok a strange and addictive thing though! I mean, yes, it is full of crazy and all that dance move nonsense is nuts but you can get caught in a rabbithole there and surface hours later feeling slightly giddy and deflated at the same time!
Haha yes that's tiktok in a nutshell (boom boom) The first time I tapped on it two hours later I was wondering what I'd been doing for two hours?
It is the rabbit hole of all rabbit holes. I avoid it these days at all costs.
It's a colossal time suck and very addictive.
I often wonder what we (hive) can learn from it?
I avoid it too. I will stick with YouTube for guitar videos and that will do me!!
There probably is some learning to be done from it there always is from everything!
Hahaha this is hilarious. Bloody gilets and the class that wears them. Poor old shoe stealer Frammond 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Everytime, I see a Gilet I think, bodywarmer. That what they were when I was young. None of this Gilet nonsense!
When I worked for Primark back in the day I saw the order coming in . I looked at the order sheet. 100 Gilets. JOHN WHATS A GILET?? I pronounced the G like a chicken fillet but with the G like Gorden. We all gathered around and pondered this Gilet. What in the name of Odens bowels had the buyers sent us down this week to sell? And it was men's. All Primark sold in mens were tshirts and jumpers back in the day but a gilet?? When it arrived there was a rush for the Box. A coat with no sleeves. WTF? 🤣🤣🤣
What a funny story. I wasn't expecting the change in tone of Frammond's dad. Did you go home and count all your daughter's shoes?
Her shoes are safe!! It seems that it is only a school playground stealing. Although who knows what good on at Frammond's home!!
The humorless world traveling professionals 😂 There is something very dog like about such a man I know...oh yes, barking mad!
Speaking of humorless, poor little Frammond! Some people truly forget what it is to be a kid, they definitely wouldn't hear Santa's bell, it's sad really :-D
Yeah, I never get those people who have no enjoyment in life and it's even apparent with their kids. Let them steal shoes, smash things and run free. They will only be young once! 😃
Or hide in Thailand from the law.. 🤣
It sounds like his Dad took the word "stealing" very literally, not understanding it as a game. I hope the boy didn't get too much of a beating before the truth of it was figured out.
Yeah me too. The guy seemed like an ok chap. I am loath to talk to other parents because they are usually very annoying but thought he seemed alright! Well, till the end!
Do they actually take the shoes off peoples feet? I do want to know this because this guy near me has a lovely pair of very expensive Oxford Brogues he wears with no socks and shorts which I find disturbing. He also looks to take the same size as me and I've got a wedding coming up...
If you see young Frammond (sounds like a hymn tune) again, if you could ask him to forward me some tips I'd be grateful. TIA :-)
Lol. They totally do. Apparently they mob one of the kids and grab a sore and then run away victoriously yelping.
I am sure they must have a handbook, will forward it on 🤣🤣
Oh man sounds like one or two things have clicked together in that dads mind! Maybe there are random shoes in the house and he asks where they came from, but didn’t get a good response until now. Future ass whooping that kids gonna get lol
That might be the case. I never thought that there might be a history building up already. Crikey, he's only 9, who knows what the future might hold!
Better watch your back.. Ole Frammond prolly won't take kindly to your tellin his Pa.. he might come at ya with a knife or something..
#SnitchesGetStitches
!PIMP
I've dealt with them kind before. I'll be ready 😉
!PIZZA
You must be killin' it out here!
@davedickeyyall just slapped you with 1.000 PIMP, @meesterboom.
You earned 1.000 PIMP for the strong hand.
You can still slap 1/1 more people today.
Read about some PIMP Shit or Look for the PIMP District
Ha ha ha…. That is awesome. Upvoted and re Hived
thank you very much!
Five bucks says Frammond has a foot fetish and these are the early signs. Or 3.8£ if you don't wanna do USD.
Haha, I am hoping it's much more innocent but then again. The reaction days it might be otherwise,!!
I will go with £3.80 I know what it's worth 🤣
LOL what's not innocent about a foot fetish?
Lol, yes indeed, that can be entirely innocent. I must stop putting my boom filter on everything :OD
Yikes. That took a turn for the worse.
Did he mishear you?
Does shoe stealer mean something entirely more sinister than what we think?
He did seem to go off almost instantly. I was utterly baffled.. If he misheard I dread to think what he might have heard!!
The only game I am familiar with is the Indian Shoe Stealing, which is more of a fun tradition at the wedding ceremonies. I think it is more like getting together at the wedding party. Plus, there could be a payment put out for the return of the shoes.
Not sure what was going on with Frammond, but. perhaps one of the parents complained to the principal and he was reprimanded. That would cause the man discomfort.
Did you make sure the little Miss had her shoes when she got back?
She was entirely shoe intact.
Apparently there are a group of them that do it but it's all fun. You might be right though, perhaps someone has said something and it's gone a bit far. Poor wee dude!
This made me remind of a phrase in my native language, which is Jilet Gibi Giyinmek. It is literally to wear like a razor blade, however it means to wear very well :)
I like the sound of that! I think it is very similar to here when they say to dress sharp!
Which of course, is a must! :OD
!PIZZA
Too right!! It should be enshrined in law by right!!
Totally. CAnnae be wearing them when its actually getting warm. It was 13 degrees today, I nearly had my top off! :OD
!LOL
I was golfing in a t shirt and shorts this evening, the auld lads playing with me were dressed for an Arctic expedition!
Shite just upvoted my own comment by accident! I'm expecting a knock on the door any minute now!
Oh ya shady bastard, they will be coming for ya! 🤣🤣
Hahaha, that's the stuff. I gave the shorts out the minute the ice is gone!!
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Use the !LOL or !LOLZ command to share a joke and an $LOLZ. (1/1)
Hey Boom! @meesterboom It's been six days!
I just realised that!!! I will have to post tomorrow. Can't have a whole week passing me by!!! :0)
Darn!! It's not like we have a life or anything! :)
I thought Frammond was either a small Scottish fishing village or an area on the shipping forecast. Mind you, my nephew and niece are Scots, so I should try to keep international relationships on an even keel.
Did you ever find out what the shoe stealing was about?
!BEER
Lol, his name ryhmes with Frammond! Frammond would be a right awful name to have!
Apparently, according to my daughter, it is just a game where some of the boys try and steal peoples shows and hide them. Absolutely harmless playground fun. No idea why it inspired such an odd reaction!
Did someone say !BEER !
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BEER.Hey @steevc, here is a little bit of
BEERfrom @meesterboom for you. Enjoy it!Learn how to earn FREE BEER each day by staking your
BEER.I really enjoyed this story and it is very well written.
Are you part of a writing community here on Hive?
Hello. Thank you very much for saying so! I am not part of any writing communities. I don't think my style really fits as a lot of them tend to be quite serious!
Every one has a favorite part of the story and mine is:
Specially, the Chicken Korma haha. You know you would never be served a real chicken korma in a flight, believe me.
Shoe stealing is common in Indian sub-continent, it is some sort of ceremonial tradition to steal groom's shoes and then negotiate the ransom money to return the shoes. haha mostly it is for fun.
The muck they serve on planes always staggers me. I couldn't pay for it!
Hehe, they do it here for fun. That should like a cool tradition tho!!
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Please vote for pizza.witness!
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No, you are!!
Comment thief!!
And now you edit your comment. Tsk tsk
Original, lazily stolen from videoaddiction:
A comment thief!... BWAHAHAHA
What a stupid heist!... And he would have gotten a way with it too, if wasn't for these meddling kids and that mangy dog!
Don't forget the mystery machine!! :0D
I actually did forget about it, but you know, the Mystery Machine is a really cool name for a vehicle, it's probably in the top 10.
Also, you're name is really cool too, it makes me think: Meester BOOM!!!
Like a crazy suicide bombing Mr Meeseeks holding a blue box with a big red button.
It is definitely in the top ten!
Yeah, I am quite happy with my username, I have had a few over the years but I am glad I settled on this one. Gonzo is quite good, you were lucky to get it I think!