In Scotland, we have been beset by heavy snow and freezing weather over the last few days. On Wednesday I got sent home early from work and it has been closed ever since because no-one can travel in this madness.
As a result, I have been imprisoned in my house by the snow ever since. It has not just been my little family of four though, oh no. One of the Good Lady's friends (The Janice) had popped over from Edinburgh to stay for the night on Tuesday and has been incarcerated with us ever since.
The Janice, has a child the same age as the little boom and her and the good lady have been having a whale of a time, breastfeeding, chatting about childbirth, breastfeeding some more and talking about vaginal tears.
I have been going slightly demented with the non-stop birth stories and the tsunami of breast hormones washing around the house and have taken to pacing back and forth shaking my head and making low grunting noises.
The media has been full of horror stories of people fighting in the aisles of the few supermarkets that have opened for the last loaves of bread. This at least has made me feel quite smug because I make my own and we have been feasting on the damned stuff.
It was day three of being snowbound and this morning I went to make coffee for us all.
The fridge door swung open with an eerie creak.
I stared in utter horror at what lay inside...
Or rather, what didn't.
We were out of milk.
Despite the fact that I have supplies of almost every other thing the one thing I don't have lying about is a bloody cow...
But wait?
I stomped into the living room. Before me sat two mothers with the jubblies out feeding the little babbens.
There is no milk.
I stated in a tone of dark foreboding.
Everyone looked at me in stark disbelief.
No...Milk?
Trembled the good lady.
Not a flipping drop. We are goosed.
The silence lay heavily as we all stared at each other, willing some kind of solution to pop into existence. The quiet was broken by one of the babies letting out an anguished squall.
It was The Janice's child, she shushed the little girl by sticking a boob back in her mouth.
I pulled my hand out from behind my back. In it was the electric breast pump. I looked at the good lady and then at The Janice.
My lips twitched up in a sinister smile.
Time to put them squeakers to some proper use ladies.
Hahahah Mr Boomy my dear gentleman. This shows that an advantage of staying home can turn to another work at home (out of milk on a cold winter day....damn) even though it is fun to spend time with little boomy, I still think that a gentkeman club might be more fun? at least some good brany plus nice ladies on cold winter night will be good. Its also very cold in Germany and here I am chilling with a cold beer...damn, a gentleman club with you will be more fun hahahaha. Today, I discussed about Reward Pool Rape: Downside of Steem Blockchain innovate nature in my post-I would like you to check it out in order to get your insight to the issue . I wish you a blessed weekend.
The club is always a much more prefereable idea!
I shall be along presently to see! :O)
Amen to that....thanks and enjoy your night.
Hahahah , you always turn every situation into a cool situation except on Thursday when you put on your gentleman hat (chills awww). Milk is important for little boomy, thanks for another great post, upped and following you in order to read more...daily.
And on a saturday I put on my beer hat lol!
Hahahaha same here buddy, Cheers
I take mine black... thank goodness!
It's a shame for the Weetabix though... toast then? :D
Toast all the way with my fine bread!
Yeah, the idea of putting that muck in my coffee gives me the boak :OD
Vegemite or marmite?
Hahaha, a loaded question. Obviously marmite. With its higher quality processed yeast extract ;O)
Lol. At least you didn't say Bovril -- marmite's non-vegetarian cousin!
Ah, sweet bovril! I never really understood that one. My mum and dad used to drink it, eeugh
British people are weird!
You always make that combination of the title, writing and pictures that makes it funnier altogether.
Damn, I'm completely goosed :d
Hehe, cheers!
Goosed is a great term isnt it!
LOL. I bet that went over like a pregnant high jumper! Breast milk in coffee? You really want to ruin a good cup of java? Being housebound during storms is dreadful torture. Good for one day only. We used to get housebound for a week at a time...After day three it is time to contemplate digging yourself out...
Hehe, yeah it would be awful. I was reading the ladies out of housebound cabbin fever!!
It does get a bit monotonous. I will be digging to freedom tomorrow!!
Always a fun story, every detail shows a fun of normal life. Original stories have their price and it is seen in your earnings.
People like to have fun, a lot of them, and with your posts we see life with other eyes. Positive energy is launched by the world, thank you for that.
And thank you for a lovely comment!
Thank you for your support, knowledge and positive energy. When you have more time, I want you to be a lecturer, at least once a week for people who want to learn how to be original and positive on Steemit. Thank you very much for yesterday.
You are very welcome. I Dare say I could fit some time on once a week. :0)
Oh my freaking god, hahahaa, mmmm, what a delightful way to cream up your coffee and cereal, straight from mama's mammaries, get those squeakers going! LOL
Howie says Jubblies, that's one of his favorite words...along with Titanias.
That's crazy though, three days! The other Scott just wrote me, he was trapped away from home like Janice, no way to steem- the horror!
It was really bad! I dont think we have had it that bad in years. At this time of year as well. Its fucking spring!
I felt bad for The Janice, stuck here away from home for so long. we made it as nice as we could. I thin k we all enjoyed it actually!
I love different names for norks or bingbongs!
Ugh, I know, we're not as bad off as you it sounds like, but we got dumped on through the night and it's still going, has to be at least eight inches by now. I can't remember the last time Spring actually started in March here, other than teaser days here and there.
Yeah that had to be tough on The Janice, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Haha, ohh norks. bingbongs. Now I'm hearing a song in my head...Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow, everybody needs a bosom. lol
Ahhaha, now I have the same song in my head!
We are lucky in that it is clearing up but it will still take days for things to get back to normal!
The time off work has been nice right enough :O)
Nooooo! I knew it must be pretty bad up there as I had heard the pubs were closing early in Glasgow! xD But is it really ever that bad that you have to resort to such horrors? :O
Haha, oh that's a good one!! Indeed they did though!
And no, things are never that bad! :0)
Hello honey, I'm sorry that you're locked up because of the snow, although that will give you some family time.
but what is unacceptable is to run out of milk. Oh what happened?
can not be!
what are we going to do?
resort to what you have at home ?.
That would be the solution for the coffee?
only that solution does not like much to the big people does not have good flavor. I do not understand how a baby likes that milk, it has a strange taste.
Then the taste of caffé would be spoiled, and the great lady and Mrs. Jeanice would have their nipples hurt.
Hehe, yes. It would be a strange thing to sick that in a coffee. I had take it black until today!!
I guess you are available to have good family time since you are trapped at home by snow. It is sound funny when you took out the electric breast pump as I wasn't expecting this. No cow at home but there is still milk source. Not one but two...
Double source!
Yeah, there has been plenty of family time which is good
It's interesting that society has conditioned us to think that drinking bovine titty juice is fine, but breastmilk--which is actually designed for (baby) humans? WTF???
It is!
Me, I find it a little too sweet and fatty but the babies love it :OD
I know, right? I was thinking the same thing. EDIT - had another thought. Maybe there is a subconscious expectation that what goes in is like what comes out ie baby sick. That would certainly make you go Boak!
Oh thats a horrid thought. I can smell the baby sick again!!!!
hahaha, :p Did you Get the milk then? :p
A gentleman never tells!
hahaha :p you get it or not :p Those babies got it ;)
The babies are full of it! :0)
you are 2 hours late today!
is everything ok?
I was waiting for your post ;p
I post at all times!
Usually, you post two hours before you posted today.
You ended the story much too soon!!! What did she say? How did this play out? I’ve been bamboozled! So much left hanging!!!
Haha, I was just teasing them. We all had a good laugh then got down to the milking haha!! ;0)
ha ha, good stuff. you must have some serious graphics skills as your posts are quite interesting with the graphics. I am jealous. I spend 45 minutes just doing a regular beer post (FYI, I have two new ones you will love) so I can't imagine how long it takes you to do a post. But you also get big $$ and I get like $1.50 or something. maybe that is why? well, your content is top drawer also.
Well thank you. I do spend two to three hours on them. When the writing is fine it is only the beginning!
Everyone starts out earning next to nothing. It does improve over time though
two to three hours, that is a major commitment but like I said, you are a top quality writer, and the results you get are not to be argued with. Kudos to you and keep up the great posting. Love them all.
Cheers very much! Is not so bad because I do it in stages. Firsr the story, then the picture then the little pictures. :0)
It's been pretty bad in Newcastle too, I've actually had to endure people singing Christmas songs!
It's always great to hear the heroic stories of a fathers battle with his son for the precious resource that is breast milk; I'm sure little boom took it like a man! (or an infant, in this case)
Haha, he is certainly taking it like a man!
It had been quite the Arctic storm hasn't it? Thank goodness it's passing!
Oh my I just stumbled upon your post! What a hoot. I so appreciate your sense of humor and your writing style. Stuck in a snowstorm with guests always brings the best out in us! Following you now!
Well I am glad you liked it!
Snowstorms are great and terrible at the same time!
Has he been jerking off a rhino?
Hahaha, thats a Bucket load😜
It is incredible how is punishing the low temperatures that area of the world today the average of Argentina reported -40 degrees in some sectors of Russia, this is incredible. but the worst has come at home, one can not run out of milk, other than cow's milk. If you continue, you will have to see what other milk options there are in your home, dear friend @meesterboom.
thank you very much for sharing this fun reading
Stay warm, dear friend.
I will stay as warm as I possibly can dear @jlufer!
And dream of lovely cows and their milk :OD
I always wanted to have a tit squeaker to squeak my tit once in a while :D
Then squeakers just need a good squeaking!!
Great idea, but it stuffs up the taste of the coffee.
Yeah, that is a point. It's a Hobson's choice situation!
Hello @meesterboom, I really hope that the weather in your country and in Europe will improve soon ... fortunately in your home you have good milk reserves for Little Boom and now for Janice's Child, you need to make a plan to keep them in good condition, well cared, to Good Lady and The Janice, because otherwise you will have to go find the food ... The good thing about this bad weather, is that it has allowed @meesterboom to work hard in the development of new posts for Steemit. Greetings.
It has been harder to write posts as my inspiration has been low because I have been trapped indoors!!
Yes, I understand, it's like being in prison, without a pencil, without paper or without a lap top and with all the prisoners around
Meesterboom, in all respect, you don't mean to stick the pump to the boobs and suck the milk dry so that you can drink. If you do that, I'm speechless to the kind of morality u have.
Anyways, I burst laughing at the last part of the story. Upvoted!
Haha, no. I didn't really man it. It raised a fair old laugh though :0)
U r lucky that u have snow there, ww have been waiting for it eagerly.
But yes, snow doesnt allow one to go out. It gives you a chance to spend some quality time with family
Lol, lucky is one way of putting it
LOL. A perfectly logical solution!
Or, you could start drinking your coffee black like a MAN 😄
Too radical!! Surely no one can live at that speed!!!
And so the saga of the breasts continues! Sorry to hear that you're still snowlocked, bro-sty the snowman. That was quite an awkward Mexican standoff you got embroiled there. Fresh milk couldn't have been fresher haha!
It sucks for you, it sucks for The Janice, it sucks out breastmilk, but does anybody care about how The Janice's partner feels? No. We only care about ourselves. Shame on us! Shame on all of us!!
The Janice's partner send to be quite happy about the whole affair. I don't blame him. I suspect I would have been the same!!
The snow has abated! We can now get out the house. Hurrah for fresh milk!
Hahaha! I did think about that after I sent my comment, but I waited for your reply. At least for a few days he lived like a bachelor!
Uggggggggghhhhhh, no just.....no.
So
cheesycreamy ;0)Bork
@meesterboom the weather condition Herr in there side of the world is quiet different, we have been experiencing a lot of heat.I wish we had snow.
Heat is much better!
@meesterboom lol i can't stop my laugh. Impressed by the writing skills. really i am sick and sad after reading your post. My mother looked at me and ask what happened i said nothing just a funny story. Make my day thanks a lot
You are very welcome :0)
as @abdulmanan ask did you really got it ;-) or it's a mystery....?
A mystery ;0)
Scooby-Doo is here to solve the mystery hihihihihihihihihi
Lol
Is Nada Is A Milk Company?
Definitely not!. Spanish for no
I love snow ;) Can you show us some?
Oooooooo la la rayyyyy, It is just great!
Ummmm, no lol. That was an amusing little story though. Next time a snow storm is headed your way, you’ll remember to stock up in some extra dairy lol.
I will, I will buy stacks of the stuff!
I just hope that the weather there would be back to normal. i cannot imagine not doing anything that is unproductive in a day, well, although I have always been unproductive.
In the Philippines, it is either strong rain or hot weather.
I hope for a better weather in Scotland! Good day sir!
It is moving off. I am hoping things will be getting back to normal over the next few days!
Good day!
Yehey! That is good news! hoping to get positive feedback from you sir.
My feedback?
Perhaps voting for posts you comment on would be a start
I mean about things gettin back to normal over the next few days. I often spend time on the internet so I could only catch up on what is going on around the world through blog posts/updates. I also have some few friends who reside in western europe. most of them are filipino nurses. i've read from one childhood friend that she was still freezing despite that fact that she was wearing layers of sweaters. I told her the same thing to have a positive feedback/ good news about their condition especially the weather.
cool :)
:O)
Aha, in this part of the world it's so hot i think the devil left the hell gate open. Everyone is om default tan :/ .
Haha, the good lady got somebody to discuss hormones with.
How come you don't have a cow? In these times one or two would be handy. Mama cow and papa cow, so that when mama's milk run dry, she'll birth new cow. New baby mama cows, then more milk till you can hit the store
Haha :D
We don't have room for a cow! There are all sorts of rules about them too.
I love the heat!! Much more preferable to the cold!!
You will love the heat till you get here and discover it's that way for 8 months in a year, with slight rain in between :p . We could switch places though, hehe :)
Yeah, i know there's no room for those, the cows
The Ends justifies the means - Niccolo Machiavelli...
Still I 😎would rather talk about the snow, the cold weather and how much I hate it. We had prison of -15 Degrees Centigrate. And last year -21. Aaaah Awfullll 😷😷😷
Oh my goodness, that would be awful. I hate the cold
Hahahaha, did they really comply? I can imagine the look on their faces, you seem fun to be with. I would just laugh my ass out if i were to be there..
Nice one @meesterboom
Lol, no, they didnt comply. I was only yanking their chain!
There is simply not enough testosterone for 1 man to go against 2 women. They have the milk themselves but they never share theirs with men.
Hey @meesterboom
I feel your pain my man!
we've had it pretty bad down here in Derbyshire too! Your 'No Milk Left' reference amuses me greatly!
Having two young children of 8 & 4 who drink gallons of the stuff has led to this comment, so please bare with me!
This used to happen a lot in our house....SO I GAVE UP HAVING THE STUFF IN MY COFFEE! that was a rant that I recently had at home! being the main bread winner saddens me because now, I have NO BLOODY MILK for my Weetabix!!! That coupled with the ridiculously Siberian weather we're having at present, being housebound for days on end (slight exaggeration) and my kids trying to kill eachother could actually send me mad! and Breaaaaathe!
Apart from that, I'm fine.
Have a good day mate and stay safe!
Kindest
@mrbloom
PS. I've just noticed how similar our user names are!!
I noticed that too lol @mrbloom!
I occasionally go without. But sometimes I just love a bit of milk in my coffee. Not breast milk I might add hehe
That could curdle a bit mate! (not that I've tried it)
That's part of being a daddy, GOING WITHOUT....I'm at the bottom of the food chain in our house!
In fact, I'm at the bottom of every chain in our house!
Ha Ha!!!
Lol, I am familiar with that feeling! Ah well its not forever... Oops, well, it kinda is!
Yup! It possibly is my friend!
I may create a Discord server for us pained Daddies! we can all vent our crap in there! Ha Ha
https://steemit.com/dsound/@mrbloom
What would you call it?
The Whine Cellar!
Lol
One amazing start
I liked your style of story
Every emotion-filled word in this story is thank to you😊
Soaking if beats
thinks
Slowly wide
You now that you can increase you payouts fast just using BOTs?
Well, I think everyone is aware that they can throw money at the bidbot operators for a poor return yes
Perhaps I am a story writer ;0)