Today we filled up the petrol wagon and headed up north. North to the wild frozen hinterlands of Scotland. Of course, I have been many times before. In fact it is where I stole the good lady from. That is course is another tale.
The little boom is over three months old now and some of the good lady's family have not met him yet. Including her stern and forbidding father. A tall man, wild of beard and eye. He is getting a little older now so cannot travel as much as he once did.
I was feeling a little lacklustre it must be said. A couple too many beers last night and knowing that I would be spending time with a man who didn't quite approve of me.
Still, in these situations I utter my famous and patented positive thinking mantra...
So we drove up. On the way, as we wound through the beautiful hills, I thought,
Relax Boomster, it won't be that bad.
We arrived a couple of hours later. The stink of fish and seagull shit heavy on the air as we got out of the car. We knocked on the good lady's father's house.
He opened the door, his long beard twitching at if rats were hiding in it.
Oh, it's you lot. Good.
Was our welcome. We were ushered into the house. The not so new baby boom was passed about various family members who ooh'd and ahhh'd over him. The day was quite relaxing. I settled into my chair and drank coffee.
This isn't that bad at all.
I thought.
The phone rang.
Father in-law answered, he only muttered a few terse grunts then hung up.
He beckoned the good lady over and spoke quietly in her ear. She jerked up, her face pale and looked at me with sorrow in her eyes.
What is it?
I said, with an air of here we fucking go.
Could you help my upstairs neighbor, Stan? He has had a little accident.
Intoned the father in-law.
The good lady bared her teeth in a strange grimace.
Could you, please? He's had a little spill and he is very old.
Yeah yeah, whatever.
I trotted off like some kind of hired help. His neighbor lived upstairs from him. I knocked on the door.
It was answered almost instantly. In front of me stood a dapper little fellow with a white shirt and a yellow bow tie.
And a towel round his waist.
Ah, the son in-law. Come in, come in.
He ushered me through the door into his hall. I looked at his strange get up. Whats with the towel round the waist? I hoped I wasn't being duped into a Cocks and Socks party or anything like that.
He led me into the lounge and waved a hand airily in the direction of a solitary old armchair and the slop of wet faeces beside it.
Just all that next to the chair.
I stared, aghast. I could feel my heart pound in my chest and my vision contracting.
Is that shit?
Said I, my eyes refusing to process the image before me and instead telling my brain that what was actually there was a small brown cat.
Yes, had a bit of an accident. Sunday's you know?
I took a deep breath. I thought something in my chest was coming loose. Stan must have saw the look on my face.
Don't worry.
He reassured me.
I managed to clean myself up ok.
I made a weird puh noise and tried to close my mouth which was flapping about like a seagull with a broken wing.
There's a cloth in the kitchen. It's my hip you see, I can't get down there.
Right.
I contemplated setting fire to the house, that would clean it. Then I noticed that the old duffer looked a bit helpless and grudgingly muttered fucking fuck a hundred or so times and went for the cloth.
It's ok, I told myself as I got down on my hands and knees in amongst another man's shit.
It can't be that bad.
Oh my goodness how on earth did you deal with that!?! Sorry but I had to laugh, your story telling is hilarious :)
Lots of rubbing back and forth with water lol!! It was horrible
Awww see! all that shit soaking in the bucket has come to fruition and good use after all! The universe was prepping you... hehe xD
You know that bucket is still there even though I am convinced that she had given up on those nappies. Confrontation time!
OH god! sorry Mrs Boom! lol
I think this shit post rivals my most recent shit post. I am so jealous of this shit right now. You did a good deed. I won't pull out the shit post of the day reward though. Not for this. This shit deserves only the best.
Congratulations! This was good shit!
Good shit beats bad suit every time. I love that shit JuJu!!
The scared the heck out of me buddy..I saw accident as topic and thought that My fellow gent is in war zone!!! thank goodness that it is not as bad as I thought...go have a good rest...greetings to all
Lol, not that kind of war zone at least!!
Aen to that..amen!!!! thank goodness my dearest gent and family are doing great!!!!
Gentleman club this weekend? remember, we have to expand more (more children) due to increase in your wealth!!!! share the wealth buddy!!!!
You are cracking me up with phrases like that, man! And I can not say it out loud...(my wife is listening) so
< whisper mode on >
I have a similar father in law! He is always looking at me as if I had done something awefully wrong!
< /whisper mode off>
Respect for you, bold man! Cleaning someone else stinking stuff like you did...
Yeah man, it's terrible. He is just so disapproving. I have to whisper the same kind of thing. When my good lady gets a steemit account I am a goner!!
It was foul but not quite as bad as I made out, thankfully
This is exactly the kind of content I need in my feed, subbed! Those little pictures make it all the better and I can see myself doing using a similar style in my own future posts, thank you @meesterbloom! :)
Glad to have been of help :0)
Is it because of your experience with Mountainous waste that made them think you were up to the task, or is it because you didn't give Boom Jr your father-in-law's name and this was his way of getting back at you? In any case, I'm sure the compensation for this shit post is enough consolation.
Man, your adventures in Dundee never gets old, Boomerino! The one you linked to was the top favorite of mine for months! I'm sure this memory is something you would want to be wiped from your data banks, but I'm afraid that it's now stained in the blockchain, mateychops!
I think I was the most able bodied!! Yikes, what a thing it was.
Dundee is the city (it's a tiny town) that just keeps on giving!
Hey, where's my Tuesday post of jedjed goodness!!
I was a bit late on the draw but there it is! I've been busy writing up my South Korea post so I've been slacking off on my regular ones! If only there's two of me!
Did your father in law set this one up especially for you? He seems a might preoccupied with getting at you. You'd think that once the children came along he would be more tolerant, but I remember my own mother in la and my father were ghastly towards us until the day they passed...
Whilst I don't think he set it up I suspect that he relished the opportunity to get me knee deep in shit! We have a strange relationship and no mistake!
Well, you are used to baby shit, aren't you? So I hope you pretended that this also...... (lol, sorry!)
By the way, the drawing of your father in law looks like Karl Marx!!
Hehe, it is Karl Marx!! They have an astonishing similarity!
That was what I told myself as I cleaned it. I felt sorry for the old guy, his care worker wouldn't have come out till the morning so I pretended it was a giant nappy.
Still scarred though!
Good night my friend
And a good night to you too dude!
Very neighbourly..there were gloves surely🤣🤣
I used two plastic shopping bags :0)
that should be alright😂😂
That would have been unusually cruel.
Hope you steered clear of his Hepatitis A...
Well I did my best to not get any on my skin!
As long as it didn't get in your mouth, you're probably fine. :P
Aaaaarrrrgggh. I can never unread that!!!
Hahaha Oopsie.
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwweeee
I'm sorry for what happened to you chico
but you're such a darling to bear and help the old guy
okay.. I'd park here
Yeah I couldn't leave him like that. It was hard though!!
You are a real tropper🤮
I think so now. Then I thought I was a fanny!!
I vote you should have set the house on fire! Hopefully it still wasn’t warm! :D
It would sure have solved the problem!!
I'm starting to think that Scotland must be an entirely different place than where I live.
It's quite the place, that's for sure! Where are you?
Oh wow! What a gross story! I just nearly puked a little! You poor thing. Then again you are used to baby shit no? 😂
It's different when they are on solids, darker and more brothy :0\
Fuck it - you would need to bottle that mantra of yours, and drink it at full strength to get through that.
Well at least it wasn't a Cocks and Socks party!
I was eternally grateful that it wasn't that kind of party!!
And with those two choices, you were quite literally stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Just think how lucky you are not to have chosen nursing or caring as a career.
Imagine the embarrassment the old guy must have had to ask you to clean up for him.
You probably got a 'brownie point from father-in-law as well.
Start planning now, you will reach that fine old age when you can enjoy your Sat Beer Tasting, and get a youngie to clean up after you on Sun.
Enjoy the thought. :)
I look forward to the days when I no longer have to did with the toilet lol
I don't think it earned me any brownie points which I find quite staggering!
It must have, if you hadn't been there FIL would have had the mess [or he would have delegated MIL]
Things with the white throne will concern you for the rest of your life, for good and bad.
Ignore the job, it washes off, you are none the worse.
Years ago we had an overseas visiting aeroplane arrive at Ohakea, the toilet draining system was "to connect the outlet to a couple of 44 gal drums, open the valve and let gravity do the work".
Normally, everything went well, this time, they had been flying at great altitude where the outside temperature was minus 15 to 20 degrees C.
Everything was frozen, they did the connection, valve bit, nothing happened.
A brave soul was given the task of chipping through the blockage with a screwdriver until he reached paydirt, then quickly [very quickly] refit the connection.
He didn't do too bad, just a shower and a clean pair of overalls required.
The driver was still laughing as he drove off, turned the corner past the bosses office too quick and rolled the trailer, complete with contents across the road.
It took the fire brigade and their trucks an hour or two to clean up the mess.
Oh man, that's a kicker and a half. I guess the screwdriver picker really did have the essay but compared to what followed!
That was very kind of you to help him. :) I eventually got used to it with my boy lol.
If it makes you feel better, know that there is a job here in the Philippines that involves diving in a septic tank with nothing but basketball shorts. Whenever Zepp makes a terrible mess, I think of them, and I feel better lol.
here's a pic for reference:
Holy crap, what a job that is. At least it's not a sport or something. Why, blockage unblocking is it? It's foul!
unblocking and unclogging, clawing at it with their bare hands whilst completely submerged in the stuff. Earns about $20 per dive.
IS that all?!?! Oh noes. I feel like starting a foundation and saving them all!
you are so kind! Well, it's considered as easy money by some. 30 minutes of dirty work for about 2-days pay of an average worker so it's still good :)
Ah well, in that case the foundation plans are halted!
You the man. I'm sure the man with the long beard will look at you differently after this. :-)
If only, I think it has made no difference!
May be another accident will require your assistance😎
Oh no... I mean I thought it was going somewhere like he cut himself shaving or needed help shaving down there when you said towel and was just laughing.
Then the shit part came... hahaha! What a lovely relaxing time.
So relaxing lol!
O my, that is a terrible twist to a Sunday - but what a good man you are - I also read the story of how you 'found' your wife - very very entertaining - she can maybe write her side of the story hahaha
You win! Shittiest shit post!
IT was. Mad shit post!
Well... this is the most highly artistic story about the shit I've ever read. I hope this will comfort you a bit, but don't forget to wash your hands before you wipe the tears of happiness and gratitude ;) :p
Hehe, I tried my best to dress up the shittiness :O)
with this I am shown that you are a great person dear friend @meesterboom, few are the people who can tolerate this, in more than one family for much less the relationship is terminated.
What a fucking day you've spent dear friend
I wish you a wonderful week
Haha, that is way to put it!!! Cheers mate!!
It can't be that bad.
and you went on again with your positive thinking mantra .. loool
That positive thinking mantra, works every time! Lol
Another shit post...oh my word I would not have been able to help him..... kudos to you! Hope this is the last of this shit now!
A proper shit post!! Better than any! ;0)
A good man you are Meesterboom! At leas the little boom probably prepared you for such cleanups....
Will kinda, it was a different texture. Ewww
been in that position with my mother in law...can you imagine?........
Yeah, give me healthy poop any day... I mean figuratively of course!
This was actually along the lines of "accident" I figured you'd be on about, though I thought it would involve critical nappy failures on the long car trip rather than upstairs neighbours! Oh dear XD
It was really awesome of you to help out anyway, and soon enough it will be back to father in law's problem I guess? XD
HEhe, critical nappy failures were avoided this time thanjfully!
@meesterboom sorry bruh for the shitty business.
Shit happens :OD
Indeed it does
Thank you for sharing! I gave you a vote!!
You did, thank you!
@meestreboom this is amazing story, I like this type of great stories.
writing is perfect.
Rabbits penis
Loooool Yus.
Great post keep it up!
JUMANJI!!
Lol. It wasn't that bad. Could be worst. Hi @meesterboom
It could have been, true. I could have cleaned it with my face!
Resteemed and followed ya.
Nice post
Thanks
You wellcome hhhh
good!.
i enjoy your post ^^! Thanks.
What a twist in topic and content man,you really are good man,I'll look out for your posts. Intresting!
Great yarn!
Fucking fuck! 😂😂
:0)
happy today for you!
Holy shit! Really? That's gross. Hahaha