I've got a client.
Said the good lady with the oddest expression in her face.
A bloody what? What are we, a prostitute now?
I said somewhat incredulously. I certainly hadn't seen this coming. Although I did have a memory of promising a two hour massage in exchange for some hungry hippo mouth snorfling once.
Damn, it's a slippery slope. It probably all started from there.
Very funny Daddy, I am sure it hasn't escaped your attention that I have been training to become a Doula?
Hmm, that did ring a bit of a bell.
But you haven't finished your training? Wasn't I doing your website? I haven't finished it yet. How can you have a client? Is it even allowed?
Yes it's allowed you doofus. Someone on the Doula Facebook group recommended me based on the advice I was giving to someone else and it just snowballed from there.
I gazed at her with my best Kung Fu master face. She gazed back.
I narrowed my eyes.
She held my stare and tilted her head to one side.
The silence stretched out.
I raised an eyebrow.
She furrowed her whole-brow.
I took a deep breath and let it out.
How much are you charging this client?
The good lady stated a number. I gasped as if punched right on the tip of the penis.
Really? Like, wtfunkz? Is that normal? Are you a high-class Doula or something?
Oh, ha ha. It is perfectly normal. Anyway you are the one who told me to rate what I did and not to undersell myself.
Did I? Wow, I rock.
I patted my tummy as if I had just eaten a wolf.
Alright then. Just one thing though?...
Yes Daddy bear?
This client... It's not a man is it?
Yes Daddy bear, it's a man. I can't wait.
I gave her my best someone's been boiling beef in the kettle again face.
Ha bloody ha.
Trust her to take a joke too far.
I admit I had to google it. I thought let me read it and see if there are any clues. As usual fuck all. I can't believe that they had jobs like this. It's like someone made a new job for themselves but wait some medical insurance companies even cover the costs. Dad's job is getting easier now as you can pay for a replacement.
Hehe, I know, it's a bit mental!! I did have a fair laugh when you did as usual, fuck all. Lol!!!
Wow! That happened fast. It seems she just started training a little while ago...Does this mean late night call out for deliveries?
It seems fast to me too! She would be on call for a month.I didn't realise that they are encouraged to get stuck in after a certain amount of time. Poor woman having to state at all those vaginas. :0)
She will be needing an Ivy Staff and a flying broom shortly. Buy locally!
I know a man!
Did you seriously ask your Doula wife is her client is a man? LoL XD
Good to hear she's not underselling :D
Yeah she did laugh about it in the end lol!!
I've never heard of it, which is a doula? Also you should not feel proud of her for having her first client? Hahaha xD
I am proud, I was just teasing :0)
It is a woman who helps other women with their births!!
Had to search what a Doula is... first time hearing that word in my whole life!
How can someone be a doula to a man? Either google is lying to me or I'm highly confused to what a doula is...
Last time i said something similar to a women I almost died... I was joking, but i guess she didn't like the joke to much, ended up with a slap on my face and a knee to my balls... what she didn't know is that i'm highly addicted to BDSM :P JK, or maybe not jk, who knows
Hehe, she is a doula yeah. I had to Google out to the first time I heard it. She is a doula to a woman though, I was just being a cheeky mofo!
All well balanced Doulas should know the lyrics to this song ...
https://genius.com/Monty-python-the-naval-medley-lyrics
That way, when one of their patients is having an off day , the doula can cheer the patient up with a lively song.
Haha, I bet she doesn't. The fraud!!
Ha ha, she had you there.
She did... Again!!!
Love your style of storytelling, man. I laughed out loud reading this ^_^ I think doulas do great work. good on her to get a client so soon and best of luck to her in her new career!
Cheers, I am going everything will go well and it isn't a protracted 4 day birth!!
All right, now you can quit your job and stay home to drink beer.
I've made it, yeehaw!!!
Congratulations to doulaboom!
Hehe, doulaboom, that's awesome!!
Hahahaha, you didn't know that you were about to be a pimp? lol Prostitute indeed. I must admit, I had no freaking clue what a Doula was before this moment. I had to stop reading mid-post and do a little googly searching to get some context. That is an impressive undertaking your misses is taking and I can imagine they are well paid indeed. Look at that, I have learned something new today. I will go to bed less stupid tonight.
I love learning a new thing. When she mentioned it roundabouts the little ladies birth I was like wtf is that. Even now I don't truly understand it!!
I think there are some things that we are just not meant to fully understand and safer to not even question. LOL
Amen brother!! Hehe!
At first, I love the sentence "hungry hippo mouth snorfling", I have to add it on my journal whee I write the way to speech ^^ I know what's a "doula" thanks to your posts, but I thought a doula takes care just of women, not men. Ok, doesn't matter, thanks to your post I think your wife is really a great woman and remember: you are the one who told her to rate what she did and not to undersell herself! ^^
Hehe, it is definitely a woman she is doula'ing to! I was just being a meanie and teasing her :O)
You have to think that have a doula at home is really useful, because if you need some massages she can help you for free ;)
This is good news dear friend @meesterboom A professional Doula in the house and with very good income according to your expression. with several VIP clients. You could stay at home and create songs in the attic with the little lady.
I wish you a beautiful night
HA, can you imagine. I would be living the dream!!! Cheers @jlufer!
Oooo.... A man as a client. You should be careful about this as the man might fall in love with the good lady as she carry out her job as a doula. Upvoted!
Dont worry, I am the man with the wicked blade!
Well it made me grin, good one Lady Boom!!
Actually it made me form a question in my mind- is there a reason a guy would need a Doula?
Hahahahahhaha, only in that scenario I would think! Shudder!
She is on fire lately!
Well regretfully not quite like that. LOL!!!
hahaha awesome! "Is that even allowed???" lol haha I feel like your family experiences would make a nice 30 minute (22 minute with 8 minute commercials) sitcom. I would watch it. haha
Cheers man!! I try and write that way!!
hahaha you are welcome! :)
Of course. Never undersell. I'll be not easy to raise the price later. :-)
It's so true, I have read so many times of people regretting not charging enough at the beginning!
All the best with the lady's business.
I hope you didn't hit your head when you went down that slope, Boomikins! I'm surprised that you're surprised that your good lady isn't surprised by the price at all. Is it enough to drive you to early retirement!? :O Kidding aside, a round of small claps for your good lady! Glad to see hard work pay off!!
I will believe it when I actually see the colour of the money!
But aye, it is a good thing!
You shall see it, BRO-lshevik! You shall see it!
I think I'll become a moula and assist you through this whole process.
Ha, good luck mouling!
Father trying to teach everything anywhere
That's what father's do ;0)
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STOPTo support your work, I also upvoted your post!
Author you are a wonderful writer. I am also interested in writing articles too. I subscribe up for you.I want that you sign up for me too.
You are spamming the same comment over and over. You should stop or you will get flagged.
Edit - I see you were already warned 4 days ago - downvoted
wow..super..joke