It was freezing outside. The family decided that we would have a pyjama day. I grumbled at this a bit because I am a male and don't really do pyjamas.
Still, after a night on the sauce it's nice not to have to race about half the country in the car going to various garden or shopping centres. So I graciously agreed to the plan.
The day was a relaxed one. I lolled about on the couch attempting the number of cups of coffee drunk in an afternoon record. The little lady played a million imaginative games on the floor.
The good lady... Well, her idea of relaxing is to clean things in a frenzied manner so she was running about with a spray gun of noxious chemicals and a cloth. It's funny how ecologically aware she is until it comes to cleaning the bathroom. Then it's bleach all the way.
The little lady tired of her current game and moved onto playing with modelling clay.
I supped at yet another coffee and browsed a nice combo of steemit and crypto prices on my phone.
Daddy?
Yes my sweet?
I said to the little lady who had shouted.
All the baby horses are running away!!
She motioned to a gaggle of toy horses which did indeed appear to be running away from something. A dinosaur no doubt I thought, smiling.
And what would they be running from little lass?
I said with good humour as I supped my coffee. Bet it's the T-Rex, I thought, he loves eating the horses.
They're running from the CROCOSHIT!!!
I narrowly avoided spraying my coffee over the entire room.
The croco-what??
The crocoshit! Look!
She waved a plastic crocodile at me. It was brown. Oh no, please tell me she is just playing with words. I mean, she's almost five and all that but I don't want her swearing.
It will be fine, she won't actually mean shit I reassured myself.
Why do you call him that my little potato pie?
Because he's brown silly!
But why that particular word little pop, surely he's just a crocodile?
She looked at me at that moment with what seemed like very old and very knowing eyes.
Becauuse Daddy, he looks like a poo.
Ah, bugger. She did mean shit. I picked her up and sat her on my knee and did my best to explain, in a slightly long and rambling way that didn't emphasise the word shit that it was a word that we didn't use. She seemed oddly content with my explanation.
Just then the good lady bustled in through the door and saw me on the couch with the little lady on my knee.
Aw look at you guys having a moment. You look so sweet! What are yous chatting about?
The little lady looked up and grinned like the Cheshire cat.
Mummy, Daddy was just telling me all about the word shit!!
The good lady's eyes bulged slightly.
We don't use that word ok.
Ok mummy!
She bounded off my knee and ran out into the hall singing. The good lady glared at me with an eyebrow that was so arched cars could have driven under it.
It was the crocoshit??
I croaked.
Might be sleeping in the garage tonight.
Hey brother boom, celebrate that she's running around, playing pretend with the poo croc threatening the lives of the baby horses...
Uh, you don't have any pets, right?
Anyway, at that ripe, old, wizened age of 5 (kids are so smart compared to when we were little savages) be glad she's announcing to the world crocoshit! Crocoshit!
Imagine trying to explain to your lady if she were running around calling out Keyofcoke! Keyofcoke!
If you're not careful with Netflix, and your little lady develops an affinity for the series "Narcos," this may be her 3 syllable battle cry in the future; when she trades up from baby horses getting assaulted by reptiles to "Let's play at destabilizing Latin American countries with the USA's number one agricultural import!" 😀😀
My blog today will make you smile, it features crocodile boots, oddly enough... 🙂
Have a great week brother 👍 Love your blog @meesterboom, looking forward to reading about many more hooked on phonics adventures with your little lady!
Haha, yeah, I might wait a while before I let her see narcos lol!
I hope you have a good week too mate! I will go have a look!
Done up like a kipper mate!
They're gonna be ganging up on ya until the wee fella is old enough to back his old man up.
FYI you should sell the idea to Marvel, I'm sure Stan Lee could come up with an awesome.......
Crocoshit -The Movie!
Sounds like a political movie to me dude 😂😂😂
Afterall I only ever hear politicians talking a Crock of Shit!
Hehe, I can see the movie now!!
I am just hoping that the wee man backs me up and doesn't join in the gang against me!!!
Interesting story. I can tell already she will not be a politician since she calls things as she actually sees them. Lol!
Maybe she will be a new breed of politician, one that pulls the covers off the hotbed of political corruption!
Hmmm... or maybe just one president that can't keep his hands off the keyboard when it comes to Twitter? We might be already be there.😞
Out of the mouths of babes, the children are so innocent. We should all see the world through a child's eyes if only for a moment.
I try to every day!
Lmao! Your storyies are always a good read and funny! Lol. Croco
Cheers!! I like to pass them on! :O)
Please don't stop doing that😂
Reading one of the comments regarding "driving words", we had a Texan visit us in NZ a couple of times,
One his songs is "Daddy Let Me Drive"
once you get past the intro you may enjoy it.
Aargh, it's not available in my territory apparently!!!
Have a look on youtube, he does some good comedy numbers.
Hehe, I will
Hahahaha high-larious! We may have the most lyrical once-and-future tyrant yet! I appreciated this even more because I'm familiar with the turn of phrase. Where oh where could she have heard that. Kids these days have such an easy access to all manners of shenanigans. I remember back when I was a wee tot playing Wolverine (or a variant of that little furball), whenever I "pop" up my claws, I use my middle fingers to signify a one-piece blade, instead of the usual three. I remember I kept waving it to the adults I "attacked". I guess they were more insulted than assaulted.
So arched that churches could've used it as a foundation!
Oh man, yes I can see you now. Middle fingered Wolverine!
That is proper arched!!
She does tend to get the best of me but in my defense I will surely it is because I have to folks back my rapier wit!
The true test of it would be after the Red Tent integration, wouldn't it?
Oh yes it will. The end of march beckons for that!!!
Oh man, time will fly so fast and slow at the same time!
Or you could give it another name, like Chocodile :p
If it was up to me that would have been far more preferable!!
Hahahaha Hell of a mess you're in, you'll have to sleep with the dog outside for using bad words ;)
Hehe, always outside me ;0)
First off, I love pyjamas and if I could live the rest of my life only wearing them I would be very happy - funerals would be a bit difficult though.
Secondly, kids at this age are definitely a lot of fun - especially when they try to say certain words but they sound like other words, so of course the kid starts running around yelling "C*NT!" over and over trying to say kite.
Well, my troubles have paled into insignificance at the thought of her running about supporting cunt at the sky lol!!!
Pretty sure you'll be lucky if it's not the way-back bamboo patch, rather than the garage. Classic.
HAhah, oh and that would be a cold cold place!
I think I had a crocoshit when I was little. Or maybe that's a crock of shit. I don't know.
That coffee banner was well timed. I had one chilling beside me that I nearly forgot about until I saw your friendly reminder.
P.S. You missed the word appear under the horses after the word indeed. Have a nice day!
Ah you are a gentleman. I hate it when you read something back and forth and yet a whole word can just be missing!
Happens to the best of us. I have so many flaws in my old stuff, I can't go back and fix it... these things are here forever looking like a crocoshit!
I know, my early stuff is littered with them as well. Crocoshit bonanza!
Now I have the Bonanza theme song playing in my head. I see something. It's a western... and they're all riding crocoshits. I better go to sleep. I don't want to miss this.
Oh Bonanza! I have the tune in my head too now. Oh the memories!!!!
Hmmmm like daddy like daughter.... hahaha very cute.
She is, very much so!
I looove your stories, it seems you and your family have a great time!. Imagine telling her this story when she's older, she'll be cracking up like i'm doing right now! Thanks for this, I really needed it!
Hahah, I am sure she will crack up at it, the great thing about the blockchain is that they will never be forgotten as well
You really tell a fantastic and illustrative story! Of course he looks like poo. She's going to be a chip off the old block. :)
Hehe, cheers. It really does as well. I might hide it and tell her he has been flushed away lol
Better give it a few days, this one is sharp as a tack, and will know something is amiss. Oh, and rethink that flushing part, or other "poo colored" toys will follow him down to a watery and expensive grave. :-)
You have a point there! Three days wait hehe
I love it when a plan comes together.
I wonder how many times she will drop you in the (word we don't use) over the next few decades...
I think it might be a weekly occurence. She gets me everytime. I blame myself for her very early years and I would play jokes or be funny with her nd she would often have to ask if I was teasing. Silly me!
Ya reap what ya sow! And you have to remember she is half boom.
That is what runs through my head every time!
My wife suffers from the same disease. ^^
It might just be the natural state of a lady!!
Very funny. I work at a preschool ... hard to keep a straight face sometimes, especially when it's along the lines of "teacher, Damion said f&@ck"!
Oh lord, I think the days she utters that I will weep!
My mother did a lot of volunteer work at the school when I was a kid. Evidently she was doing some kind of newsletter or handout for parent's review day. The teachers would choose some students' work to put in the paper for the parents. I still remember being mortified when she found a spelling error on the paper I had done that sounded like another word and she refused to change it!
Wahahhahahahah :DDD
Whaat? It's funny, what can I do!
There is nothing, we are all helpess!
Deficatingly funny.
That's my kind of funny!
She used the word without knowledge of what it means. I like the way you handled it and let her know how to converse rightly with words.
You are a good father. Thumbs up!
Hehem cheers mate
Ah yes... I remember a similar conversation with one of me own little lasses- I engage in an ongoing litany expressing my opinion of other driver's abilities while on the road. One day after exiting the car my daughter- 4-5 at the time- began repeating verbatim my critique. I had to explain that "those are Daddy's driving words and you must never, never say them (especially in front of Mommy)." What's good for the goose, you know...
Driving words... now I like the sound of that get out of jail card!!!
So nice to get in the head of children and laugh about what they come up with sometimes. You are only at the beginning of her vocal capabilities.
Hehe, I was quite impressed by it. I almost felt bad I oculdn't responsibly high five her and say "awesome!"
I do not believe that the great lady dares to send him to sleep tonight at the garege dear friend
Thank you very much for another wonderful story dear friend
I wish you a good nightexcellent real life dear friend @meesterboom, you are in trouble with that little lady queirido friend, is very intelligent and curious, wants to know everything, many times it is better to avoid a question than to take the challenge and try to explain the meaning of it.
I have avoided the garage, at had a right good old laugh about it afterward :0) Cheers joiner!!
I think you better hide the crocoshit, before you get into any more trouble!!!!! Haha!!!
I have thought about it. I will just wait till the coast is clear!!
Somehow you are make to take the blame for someone?
It always seems to be me in the end! * sigh*
hahaha gotta love the little ones, always causing us troubles with the ladies :P
They do!! It's like it's their job!
The good lady reminds me of my mom and her idea of relaxation. Lol
HEhe, its a common thing!
Out of the mouths of babes. I would be careful though. For when you least expect it, perhaps months from now, she will gleefully tell a visitor to your home that she has a crocoshit! I am chortling right now because if you do manage to get rid of the offending toy she might come up with something much worse. After all she is her father's daughter!
You know, thats what I keep thinking . Her fathers daughter!
I have known people like this! And some of them were full on "hippies" XD (where "hippie" now seems to mean the people that describe themselves as natural/crunchy/earthy rather than the 70s hippies, I'm not sure why).
If it's any consolation my partner doesn't understand my version of "relaxing" either, he doesn't think muttering curses at my screen to be very relaxing, though in defence that only happens when I can't get something to work or have to repeat work because something exploded catastrophically XD
I love the ease at which you find trouble, seems like a knack :P
Hehehe, it is a knack!
I think that hippy is now the very type you describe. I know a few people who are almost psychotically eco-warrior like yet do little things which completely ontradict it.
Whaooooo i personally like your story ooo
LOL from the mouth of babes...upvoted and resteemed
What an interesting story :)
Thank you
Really amazing and well written post, Thanks for sharing @meesterboom
I hope you enjoyed
Please post more like these! This made my day!
Cheers!
Hahahaha funny post 😂
wow very nice description of this story you have a good writing power
Hahahaha brilliant, as usual
Nic post
Lovely, you made me laugh! I could vividly see the story in front of me :') Children are so incredibly charming in their innocence.
They are indeed!
Very good story friend, I'm following you. I invite you to go through my blog maybe something you like and you can support me with your vote. Greetings.
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A wonderfully entertaining read @meesreboom Thank you. You certainly have a way with words.
The apple doesn't fall far from the...and all that! Ha, and wait until you have two of them, both older, being inventive. I absolutely LOVE it!!!
I don't know who originally said it but, "never say anything in front of a child that you don't want the neighbors to hear." Those things are incredibly hard to delete from your kid's information pool.
Been there, done that!
Cool family story
Lifetime
Unfortunately im single
Here is my story you may like it
https://steemit.com/travel/@ashkanco/the-black-mountain-orchestra