This fookin free beer is shite!
Limp Bangstick held up his plastic glass of pretend Estrella he had just been served and grimaced like the rear of a human Caterpillar at feeding time.
Ughhh... There's a pub just round the corner? Who's up for it?
He turned his glistening sunburned face to the fellow desperados, of which I was one, standing at the bar.
We can't do that, the wives might catch us?
Arselick, another of the crew at the bar, twitched in fear at the idea of the guards wives finding us and dragging us back for punishment.
But this stuff is rank, man!?
Limp Bangstick whined pitifully.
He was right too, whatever beer was being served it was not what they claimed it to be. In fact it reminded me a bit of that shit Tennents that they brewed back home. A lager so distressingly bad that even golden Labradors won't drink it.
What we need, my dear fellows. Is a plan.
A silence fell over the motley crew at the bar as they looked at me with a piteous kind of hope.
The kids club disco just started five minutes ago. That means we have forty minutes left. We can go there and be back in time for it finishing.
I looked at them, Limp Bangstick, Arselick and Mad Sherrie who was neither man nor beast.
Text your other halves and tell them you are going to the toilet, you will be back shortly. That way if they look over we are safe.
I pulled my own phone out and started texting, everyone followed suit.
Ok, done. Will we just have a sneaky pint and come back?
Mad Sherrie hooted in his/her/they/them/it's strange fluting voice.
One!? Come on mate. Let's push the boat out and try and get two in, it's forty minutes??
Arselick said confidently as if he had just put on his sexy pyjamas.
Two pints?
I realised a hand and stopped them dead in their tracks.
If we are going to escape then lets do it properly.
I slapped the back of my right hand against my left at if it were a naughty child.
I say three pints and four shots. There's no other way.
A silence fell over them again, this time tinged with incredulity.
Three pints... Four shots? No way man, it can't be done? It's not possible. No one could drink that much in forty minutes!?
Limp-Bangstick shuffled from foot to foot and shook his head as if tormented by flies.
I chuckled and took a pull from Mad-Sherrie's 'spare vape.' These guys wouldn't last ten minutes in Scotland.
Don't you want to take the chance? Feel the fresh air of the outside on your face, just once? Come on man, nothing's impossible.
I flipped my phone out
Thirty eight minutes left. If we go now we can still make it. They need never know...
I looked at them. This ragtag band of holidaymakers that thought they used to be somebody.
I was going to make them be somebody again. At least for just for one night.
First round is on me.
I slid off my bar stool, beckoning them on and we escaped into the night.
Hey Dawgy. You ok, you look a little flushed? And hey, cool hat! Where did you get it?
The Good Lady returned from the kids Disco, kids trailing along behind with the other wives and partners of the bar crew.
I tipped the cowboy's hat upward on my head and peered at her through squinty eyes.
Howdy ma'am.
I burped.
Haha, did you drag these guys to the Irish bar again for shots?
She giggled remembering the other night I had done the same.
Of course not. Been here the whole time!
I winked mannishly.
Behind me, Arselick fell off his chair with a thump.
Ahhh, holidays.
The first time I was in Scotland, it was with my Glaswegian manager. It was then that I understood the "true power of the fully operational battleship". AKA his liver.
After a "few wee drams" AKA I lost count. I staggered up the steps to the hotel, I was slurring drunk. My manager, who was sober as a judge asks ... "I've got a nice bottle of whiskey up in my room, how's about I bring it down to the lobby and we have a night-cap?"
I declined. Stumbled my way to my room, then slept until 6AM when my phone rang ...
My manager's cheery voice on the other end. "Are you coming down for breakfast? You're going to need a full belly for a long day of work." I crawled down to where breakfast was being served. He had ordered me a "Full English" or whatever you call it in Scotland... I managed to get everything down.
That was a Tuesday ... we had 3 more days of work to look forward to.
I learned something that week. Canadians can hold their drink, but, the Scots ask their liver to hold their drink while their body walks over and orders another round.
Haha, it really is like that.
When we have nights out with colleagues from other countries they are generally horrified at the amount of alcohol that is consumed.
Then, as it is a hospitality thing they tend to keep up and end up in a terrible state!
It's a curse and a gift! :0D
Hehe, I've been known to drink my American and Norwegian colleagues under the table ... but when in Scotland. I will not drink one-fa-one. I'll likely have one-fa-two if they are having a slow night. As soon as I hear ... "Ay Jimmy, ya gotta keep up lad" ... I know that I absolutely should not - they are in sport mode by that point.
Hehe, sport mode is a good description. It is always stand when we go to another country and there isn't an incessant amount of drinks arriving. It feels almost alien. Then again, it feels kind of nice at the same time now I am getting on a bit!
That's a lot to drink in only 40 minutes. I don't think that I would last 10 minutes in Scotland either. Lol
It was a devilish combo!! I think I might have left some of my last pint 🤣
At least you made it out. Good call on
forcing, coercingpersuading everyone to go.Rallying!! ;0)
Hehe, it's Friday tonight. Training run is over, hope they are ready!
Haha as ready as I'll ever be I suppose 😅
Hey Boomy, it looks like @amirl is trying to make friends with you with a downvote on this post. It seems his big investment in Blurt and his Blurt career in general isn't keeping him occupied enough. Anyway, I've sent you a tip here on this post because I can.
Why thank you very much. It is nice when hard work pays off and we can do such thing.
@amirl seems to be the bitter type doesn't he?
I wrote about the behaviours of bad actors here following a predictable path in my Viking post on Thursday. I wasn't wrong. I hope his investment in Blurt is going well though, and that he invests much more money...like, all his money. Blurt is going to the fucken moon, and taking many with it.
That moon thing was a joke...I'm pretty sure you got it. 🤣
Oh I got it!!
I sometimes can't understand why some people cannot own their own mistakes and build on them and create a better outcome.
But I guess that's why there are winners... and losers in this crazy game of life.
I know he will not regret ploughing his hive into blurt for one minute.
Years maybe but not one minute 🤣🤣
Yep, there were various alternate realities that could have played out, but some like to play the victim card rather than take ownership of the past present and future.
Cool banner, accurate too.
Oh, here's an upvote, just for being a good chap, and not a cunt.
They forget, there is no rewind in life. Tools.
Why thank you young feller. One of the most important maxims to live by in life I feel is...
Don't be a cunt
Simple, yet will carry you through so much!
😀
It's a simple life-ethos but some, like the Blurt investor in question, seems to have a different life ethos.
Maybe he just keeps forgetting to add the don't off the front of the:
Don't be a cunt, phrase?
Yep, that must be it. Still, that aligns with the, invest in Blurt ethos I guess so I'm not surprised.
Oh, here's another vote, because you're the antithesis of a cunt.
I know you love that word; antithesis, not cunt. Although the latter is also a word that can be used to good effect.
I love that banner, it's so funny 🤣
Lol, I see he dropped some weeny downies a little earlier as well. You reckon he reads our comments like a mad stalker?
That's funny. Lol at amy-blamey 🤣
Yeah, @amirl certainly is a big vagina with a fungal infection huh?
So I was browsing that shit hole where the crazies are encouraged to go (blurt), checking in after a few months of being away, to see how much they've wrecked the place (nearly destroyed, no surprise there). Saw that character posting shit about you guys. Talking smack and all that. They took this conversation between you and @meesterboom out of context (typical thing they do over there), grabbed a few screenshots, made a hit piece/smear post.
Just thought you should know.
Hey mate, I hope you're well.
I don't see anything on Blurt; it seems like a bit of a terrible place from what I've heard.
They all deserve each other and none of their smack-talking has any relevance anywhere but in their own tortured minds. At the end of the day each and everyone of them is trapped; trapped within the prison that is themselves and the way they think and act makes that place quite terrible I'm sure. They can talk smack if they like, but when it's quiet, when they're alone, I'm sure being them is their worst nightmare.
A quick glance at their 'new' feed was all it took. Was simply checking for volume and quality (pathetic) and about seven posts down the feed I stumbled into it. Can't even call it coherent. Certainly not worth losing sleep over. Just the usual unhinged cringe typical of that
communitycult. Building their bonds upon a foundation of hating the same people and things is most certainly a trap. Looking further but still at a glance, I discovered more drama; same players from months ago but now they're all focused on one another (that was inevitable). Part of me thought they would have wised up by now but it's clear those types simply, can't. Still going, after that much time, all while feeding off one another. Stuck in that trap while eating themselves to death. Truly no different than a slum.I'm doing well. Just getting caught up on things. Spent about ten minutes on that. To be honest, it was more humorous to me than alarming. But I did spend some time digging around looking for, The Rest of the Story, before I mentioned anything here. It's not hard to see who's in the wrong and why you guys just brush it off now. I'd do the same.
Yeah, it's predictable; the funny thing is, that they probably hate themselves more then anyone else.
The rest of the story is the usual thing. I asked that user not to post in my community in dual language as I've set that as a rule. He whined, unfollowed me then deleted his post replacing the text with "deleted." Once he did that, I was forced to mute it from the community feed. He took offense, called me some things that were uncalled for and began to attack. He was addressed (by many, many users) and went to Blurt. Now, well, he's handed out almost 70 DV's to me in the last couple days (which amount to about a grand total of $1 combined) and probably feels empowered by that and the gathering of minds that goes on over at Blurt.
Yeah, I saw it mate. The guy is just the lamest kind of loser.
He earns virtually nothing but it gives him something to spam the dead chain with 😀
So cute how each one leaves out about 99% of the story when it comes time to satisfy that urge to hate something unnecessarily then lock it all into a blockchain so future generations can see how permanently fucked up they were.
It is quite funny. Leave out all the bits that don't suit them.
This guy was not such a cunt at first. But he quickly showed his true colours.
As they always do!
He ain't half!!
A big stinky vadge.
I saw his little posts on blurt. Lol!!
Not only is he a stinky vadge her is and absolutel coward.
Come and say something to our faces instead of fiddling with your penis whilst making your empty threats @amy-blamey 🤣🤣
I think he wants to censor what we say by downvoting us. Oh the irony.
Just an irrelevant idiot. I don't care what he says; he has damaged whatever credibility he had on Hive, rendered himself irrelevant and continues to celebrate his own legend which exists only in his tortured mind.
An honest and fair summing up!!
I don't think you can say fairer than that.
🤣 I hope the other wives were as understanding! It won't do to have the new escapees imprisoned again...
This post has been manually curated by the VYB curation project
I don't think they were as approving as the good Lady!! Ah well, till tonight and we do it again!
Same crew, or are you going to be teaching a new batch of sailors? Maybe you could bribe the wives with !PIZZA
It seems to be largely the same crew, were are all leaving on Sunday. Hopefully that means we can really good for it Fro/Sat!!
Have a great weekend 🙌
Always dude, you too!!
Yep I do believe that is past my limit by a bit! Yikes lol.
It was a bit nuts :OD
Is it not as much fun unless you have to pretend you're sneaking around XD
Exactly!! It has to be illicit!! :0D
I think my heavy drinking days are behind me. A weak bladder and a need for sleep put paid to that. It's more fun to watch others get drunk.
!BEER
The weak bladder thing is a pain in the arse. I remember when I didn't have to no to the loo every five minutes. At least in a hot country you sweat most of it out!
Only takes a couple of pints and I'll be up in the night. Ah well, better old than dead :)
Hehe, far better old than dead. I will drink to that!
What a way to cram a holiday into less than an hour. How did you get that cowboy hat? Love the names, LOL! You've earned a Quantum Beer Hug
Haha, I would buy that in a flash. Add I tend to drop with anything quantum in the title! Bewr adds more want!!
It's new, just tried it for the first time. Some sort of "cold process". The taste is an IPA, but it's cleaner and smoother in taste, more balanced.
Quantum is it, it's hot, well cold in this case. 😁
Sounds very nice!!! I need to get some jazzy beers. Although I will need a detox after my fortnight of debauchery on holiday 😀😀
I see you went on a wild debauchery stair party, but I'll leave you a comment on that post, lol. Jazzy bears are great as long as they aren't the "sours" or something else that looks like a milkshake masquerading as an ale/ipa/some other fangled thing.
3 beers and 4 shots in 40 minutes
#grownassman
#livinthedream ! :0D
there is nothing better than a sneaky pint. Special ingredient: sneakiness. 😃
Sneaky always wins, always!!
And how they should be! Give the boys a round of testing out their backbone hehe
They need more shots. So weak the younglings!! 🤣🤣
Several decades ago, I might have been able to manage that. But, alas, no more. Time is a harsh mistress.
Worse when she is drunk.
At least she would look good. Oh wait, that would be if I was drunk!
Time is, I think I might pay for foolhardiness!!
I think that's what Valhalla is for!! :0D
I have always wanted to drink beer at lunch times, sneaky pint would go well with me :)
I just say, I had to give up them lunch time beers. I ended up half canned all day!!
Ah - those are the nights!
Hope you are having a ripper mate :)
It's a fab time, only a few days left, sob!!
Forty minutes...I could manage half that without passing out I think 😆
Where is it you are that they're all lightweights? Men are definitely build different in some areas!
And what's the holiday? We have none until the end of November's Thanksgiving sadly, I have to borrow them from other countries 😁
We took a fortnight off to go to Ibiza!! In the island of the sun!! That's why my replies have been a bit random and scarce!!
Almost over though. Sob
Ibiza! That's awesome! Good for you 😎 I literally just talked about having itchy feet, I need to go somewhere away..ah well, I'll probably have to wait until spring. Trying to make the most of my area :)
Aye, it has been very good!
Spring is a good time. I just hope winter isn't a bastard. I hate the damn thing!
Is it of those AI holidays, with free.. but crap beer? I hear a 'AI beer cap' is being placed for Brits in Spain.., such is our guzzling reputation.
It is one of those. We have ate out mostly. The cap is in place, you are only allowed two drinks at a time. So you literally stand there, order two drinks then when they serve you order two more! 🤣🤣
So it's true.., is it Spain you are in, or the Canaries?
Ibiza, so Spain. I have not seen any limits in bars yet. Only in the hotel. I think it would be quite hard to police
Surely not San Antonio?
Fuck no! Those days are long gone! I am in San Miguel, a quaint little beach resort in the north. It's quite nice up north and east. You would have little idea it was as shit as San Antonio!
When I think Ibiza, I think of sleeping until 2pm, hitting the beach until 5pm, drinking, clubbing, taking dodgy substances.. crashing at 7am.., rinse and repeat.
Not that I did all that shit! haha..
I love the names you came up with for the fellas. Gosh, sounds like you can drink anyone under the table in less than an hour. Poor Arselick...but hey ho to holidays for sure, I love that the missus was kinda in on it even though it was meant to be all secret like. 😁
I don't know if it's something to me proud of our worried about. Thankfully it's not unusual for Scottish fold to drink so much. In fact I am probably one of the more sedate ones!
She loves it because I watch the kids before their Disco and let her out for an hour of quiet!! It's our sanity times!
You're a Scot, how could you be anything but proud? My Scottish heritage is smiling on your behalf.
It's lovely that you and the Good Lady have these little inside jokes between you and give each other your hour of debauchery to stay sane, I think it's awesome.
I think of we didn't have them we wouldn't be ys. She is a star, we are very suited. I might even keep her.. 🤣
As if there is an alternative, you'd be a mad Scot to not!
Two pints? Good grief man, you'll drown with that much in minutes! Methinks the Good Lady is on to you and the gang.
She really is a lot of fun. Too bad she has to watch the rugrats. She would be a lot of fun to be chasing a pint with,
Hope you are having fun!
That's the one thing that we hate, we rarely get a moment to carry on the way we used to. One of us always has to watch the little ones. A combo of dead or uncaring families and rubbish baby sitters has let us down!
Unfortunately, work has always taken me away from my family and babysitters were never up to snuff, so I totally hear you.
The kids will be old enough to be independent before you know it. Don't blink.
No worries. I watched my grandparents carrying on like young lovebirds. Don't be THAT person. ;)
I ain't blinking!! I was just remarking to the Good Lady how much I am enjoying them at this age as they are so adorable and sweet with one another even when they are being mental!
I'll tell you a parent secret. Every age will be your favorite! I swear to it! That is the forgiving thing about them growing up.
Hahaha! You Scottish! ;<)
We are bad 😀😀
You so bad...
that it's almost good.
I try for it! Heh heh
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