Our holiday in Ibiza was winding up. It had been a fabulous couple of weeks and now there was only a day or two left.
Have you seen the smugglers caves?
Asked Mad Sherrie the night before the day before the morning we were due to travel home.
Smugglers caves old fellow? Fo' real?
I sipped on my fake brandy and pretended to be Jay Z albeit without a giant arsed wife.
Yeah, just up the cliff path. You should definitely go. The kids will love it.
Mad Sherrie nodded sagely as if my kids were not technology addicted savages that only lived to binge watch shows on Netflix.
Hmm, sounds like a plan for the last day!
I necked my Frandy and threw a peanut at the barman to rack me up another. Which sounds rude but I had given him a fiver tip earlier on in the week so I patently owned him.
The next day dawned bright and warm. I marshalled the family together and we set off up the cliff path to the smugglers cave.
After much climbing we were very high and could see our little resort below.
The kids began the usual are we there yet nonsense.
Surely we were? We had been walking for half an hour.
But no, just as we got to the very top...
The path went downward...
And round.
And down...
And more down!? What was this, Jules Verne and the fucking Journey to the Center of the Earth!?
Then a corner. By now we were almost at sea level and my legs were starting to wish I had swam out to the bastarding caves.
And lo, we reached the entrance. Oddly enough there was a fucking queue?
I eyed the buggers in front of me suspiciously, was there a short cut?
We went in.
The caves were very yellow and narrow.
I was beginning to feel a little underwhelmed until we arrived at the buttplug stalagmite.
I knew then we were on to a winner.
Then there were more.
It started to get a little wet
The cause was soon clear, a gigantic vaginosaurus lurked behind a crevice.
There was a bit of a light show at the vaginosaurus crevice.
It started to get a little hot and sweaty so we moved on to the bone wall.
This held the kids attention for seven seconds so again, we marched on.
To the LIME POOLS!!!
Which were accompanied by dramatic music and lights.
And that was it.
We climbed a long winding path and eventually came to the exit.
Some hours later, at the bar, Mad Sherrie accosted me.
Did you go to the caves? Fucking amazing aren't they?
He beamed happily at me.
I looked at him flatly.
Naw, they were fucking rubbish. I would have had more fun wiping my arse after a shit.
Mad Sherrie blinked in astonishment.
Oh. Oh well. Do you want a fake brandy?
He waved at the barman.
I sighed.
Oh, alright then.
"Drinking fake Brandy is almost as good as smoking a pretend cigarette," he said as he took a deep inhale from a nub of a pencil before pretending to ash it in small house plant beside him on the table.
That cave looks cool to me. But I love caves.
I do love them myself. I had hoped for more cavernous things but I suppose not every underground cave can be a cathedral affair! :OD
Haha yeah that's true. I hear you.
Nice 👍, I gotta write down this location for future visiting. Do you have some more precise location info or even GPS coordinates maybe?
Hello! They were the Cova de Can Marca - Cova de Can Marçà
+34 971 33 47 76
https://maps.app.goo.gl/iviF7myaSCr5fDXT7 :0)
Not sure if it was worth the effort, but the lime pools were pretty sweet!
They were right at the end and I can see why. Everything up till then was not so impressive!
Hehehw oke this is probably one of the same ibiza people asking the question 'did you do the ayuhyasca journey to refind yourself after the years.of being surpressed'
I dunno..i have reservations towards ibiza people. Earth energy and so..cave lovers
#makemeahippy
Alas, I have never done an Ayahuasca journey although I have eaten Hawaii baby Woodrose seeds which I believe have a similar effect.
Dang, I used to love doing that nonsense, caves, not so much! :0D
Caves just hit really different. You need more nonsense!
I do prefer my life to be full of nonsense and madness. Not caves and stone!
Great place! I might feel choked in the cave 🙄
It did get a little claustrophobic at the deeper points because it got really hot and a bit airless!
These are insanely beautiful!!!! Thank you for sharing such mind-blowing caves.
You are welcome, they were quite lovely at points!! :0)
After all that work, you had to wait in line, then they end up trying to make it an artificial experience with music and such 😂 Nothing like ruining the feeling of exploration!
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I know, I wanted to get one of those jazzy helmets and a head torch! Instead it was as bright as day in there! :OD
They should do two tours, one natural and one for those looking for a show!
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And maybe another, Freestyle! Where you just go and blunder off into the darkness! :OD
🤣 I think I'd like to come out one day so a flashlight would be great!
I took my amazing super bright torch into the caves but it wasn't as dar as I would have liked to use it!
It's unfortunate that they try to make everything look artificial - even a natural cave!
!PIZZA !ALIVE !LUV
Those caves are interesting and in some aspects are actually beautiful but wow, I got a feeling of claustrophobia just looking at the pics. Lots of booty in that cave aarrrgh!
There be treshaaaaaaarr!!!
Well, there should have been but there was nothing but fancy lights and rock! :OD
Pics are amazing and so is the softporn commentary. Looks like you found the vaginanosaurs' happy. She was certainly happy to see you...!LOL
She was gushing!!! LOL.
It was fun but a rip off all at the same time :O)
And so are most tourist spots. Especially with kids with goldfish brains. But at least you gotta do a little mini hike. I'm a keen hiker so I would like that. Caves are always overated!
I love a good hike in the hills. The coastline was a bonus! If there is one thing Scotrland is good for it is hiking.If only it was as warm as this place was!
You would love South Africa then, Particularly Cape Town. Beach and mountain at our fingertips. And awesome weather ( for most of the year, at least).
That does sound quite fabulous. I remember Jaynie on here once posted a video of her driving around her town and at one point she turned a corner and these giant mountains hoved into view at the end of the street. It was quite a sight!
It's pretty rad. You guys have mountains too - but our beaches, man. I will post some pics from my old front yard soon. Up until there months ago, I stayed on the beach!
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I like caves so I thought that looked pretty cool XD maybe slightly overkill with the lights and sound.
The walk there looked pretty epic too.
Did you have to go through in guided groups?
It was cool. It cost us 50 euros to get in and I was just a bit marked by the overall cost relative to greatness!
It was worthwhile though. The music and lights were nuts. Super dramatic.
It was a big group they took through. I presume so that any daft folk didn't stray from the path and get lost!
I once went to Hershey PA with a group of girlfriends and did the cave thing. The coolest thing about it was learning how to make stalagmites and stalactites myself, haha, I used it as a scien project for the kiddos!
The ones we went to had no such light show and we were the only group, so it didn't feel quite so touristy as that looks, but it also didn't make for such cool pictures!
That sounds quite good the old making them! I mean, I know how they are formed but if someone said make one I would be like, eh?! lol
Yeah, it was touristy as feck in there. And no kids. So everyone was treated to ours gpoing mad,, hahahahah!
Beautiful jewel where you stayed. That would be hard to leave.
😂😂😂 looks like it had massive dentata! Gotta say, those last several photos look like some kind of alien landscape. Totally surreal and I had to pause to look them over because I wasn't sure if it was real or you'd transitioned into alien territory.
LOL, this I get. What I don't get is the bone wall, even after close inspection. Got any details about that? It's bizarre.
Most importantly, since it's a smugglers caves, did you score any gold?
Stair party!!! :OD
There was no sign or detail near the bone wall. I was most disappointed. It was the only area that had stuff like that. I think it might have been fossils of shellfish or something. It was dashed cool though!
I did not score any gold!? Outrageous.
Total crazy stair party. Made me wish I could see it in person.
I was really inspecting that wall for human remains, lol. Fascinating to see that. You know, it kind of looks like the remains of some ancient city in those caves. I take it the yellow is due to Sulphur?
Beyond outrageous. In that situation, I'd be tempted to prize up a smaller butt plug to take home. I expect that is forbidden of course.
There was a bit that said it was mostly limestone with trace others stuff in it. I did have a paw at it and it was very powdery and more white than it looked but they had these big lights everywhere and they were kinda off white almost yellow
Them rock plugs. That would have been a souvenir and a half:OD
Ahhh, okay, that makes sense for the yellow, hadn't thought of that. I bet it's a type of dolomite limestone. Pardon my fixation on stone, lol.
Yup, definite rock plug souvenir. That would most likely be highly forbidden.
So you are a touristy Scotsmen in Spain lol. Exercise to get you off the barstool for a few hours did you good. I thought smugglers caves went down to the beach as that is nowhere close.
I am indeed a Scotsman on tour!
There were signs about that explained how the tide would come up and flood certain parts and I kept thinking, *how, we are forty odd feet above the water?! :OD
Must be the rising tides due to climate change which would then wipe out the town down below. maybe it was a storage cave and they threw the barrels over the edge into the water lol or used ropes. Would have been hard work being a smuggler there.
Hehe, that damn climate change. The story of it totally didn't add up. I suspect that they found them and decided to come up with a cool backstory so they could sell it to the tourists. They charged a small fortune to get in!
I like your cave photos and the views from the cliffs a lot. So beautiful.
When I was a child, part of one of our mountain visits include some caves called Linville Caverns, I enjoyed it except for the place where they told us the water was amazingly deep and then you walked over a grate above it. I don't know what young age I was, but I was old enough not to think that was a smart thing to do, to have a whole line of people standing on it at one time LOL ! It had colored lights and all too, but is nowhere near as big as these you visited. I was impressed. but that was before computers and dinosaurs.
Young children and extra long walks do not always fit well. Thank goodness for that extra "fake" drink.
It was quite impressive. The first part was rubbish, literally just yellow narrow gaps with stalactites and the stuff but when it opened out a bit it was quite groovy!
That sounds quite freaky and the kind of thing I would have been feart of when younger. I still get the heebies walking over grates in town with visible beer cellars below and the like, never mind hugely deep water!
What a beautiful landscape in my life I have been in that place only photos and these are wonderful, is a good walk in search of doubloons and if accompanied by a good brandy has to be incredible the energy that must be felt in that place … pirates … that historic place Mr. @meesterboom
It was indeed quite the experience! I was a very happy man to have seen it and of course to have had the brandy afterward :O)
Ufff so that's the perfect end to the ride, that's the attitude, enjoy the moment. Greetings Mr @meesterboom
wow! I really like caves and that one's fantastic and ide never heard of it before. Definitely a reason to visit ibiza 😊
Lol, they were not bad. I world probably visit our more for the golden beaches! :0)
Excellent and it reminds of the song from vengaboys "we are going to ibiza"
Everyone I go there I can't get that tune out of my head 😀
I'm glad you've had a wonderful time sir and much as the lighting effects of your caves and steggasaurus lights were rather impressive...here on Ko Samui we have the well known, grandmother and grandfather rocks as they are officially called.
Anyway...the best picture from your set was this one...
The first lady thinks shes entering the Ibizian Hogwarts, the second is bollocking her husband and warning him not to go out on one of Boomy's boys only excursions and the third has the most amazing pair of spectacles that when you zoom in on them, appear to show a totally different scene than the one before her eyes.....
I have to say, Ibiza looks absolutely beautiful. I was there in 87, but didn't didn't see a great deal of scenery.
Hope you and the family had a wonderful time :-)
Hahaha, she is giving her husband a bollocking!! It's so obvious.
And the glasses, she must be an inter dimensional being who sees thought the matrix. Or something 🤣🤣
It was fecking magic mate, even if it wasn't quite the type of holiday I myself also came on in the yesteryears!
Fake brandy?? That's your problem! If it were real, that cave would probably look amazing!
Once you have seen a great cave, the rest pale in comparison. You need to underwhelm the children so that you can overwhelm them later in life.
I like that strategy. Underwhelm then in advance so that they can be overwhelmed!
Awesome, I shall ensure that there is real brandy in hand to aid in the whelming!!
Haaaaaaaa, you know I have a lot of imagination, I imagined you happy cleaning your ass full of shit haaaaaaa, it was a good experience, what happens is that you like more to go have some drinks.
I wish you a happy day
I think you also have a fertile imagination!! Lol.
Happy day to you too! :0D
I would have had more fun wiping my arse after a shit.
Stealing this..
!beer
Heh heh. It is a good un!
Wet cave, slippery walls, amd Boomsticks oh my. 😆
I like your price post too bro, holiday drinks are the best, seems the most appropriate then, with that hat tip lol.
This trip is nice though man, its nice to be out and wander in nature like the little ants that we are.
!BEER
To get an ant and be free, that would be nice. Probably no beer though 🤣
Its like im imagining those ant farm things, and building a little pub for them to chill at lol.
I used to imagine i can be a lego character and build a castle to live in. Ahh the good ol days boom. Cheers to good adventures.
That sounds like quite the good imagining! Now I will start imagining that!
Not really a fan of over-sized crevices then?
50 euros, rip off!
I like my crevices like mouse's ears... 🤣
15 per adult and a tenner for each kid. I was narked!
Ha ha, it's funny cause it's true! Ibiza is someplace that herself has been touting as a holiday destination for us next year. How was it for a family holiday?
If you go up the north and the east like Es Cana roundabouts there. Or Portinatx it is excellent for a family holiday. We love it with the kids cos the beaches are excellent and the water is calm as feck!
Nice one man, thanks for that, may well give it a go, the last few foreign hols have been to the same place down near Malaga, so something different might be nice..
It's all getting really expensive. We are maybe looking at Ibiza again or one of the Greek islands which seem to be cheaper
You haven't been on holiday until you have seen a stalactite.
It was when I saw my first one that I realised what I had been missing all these years 🤣
At least you didnt get sold that rock off the coast with its magical powers. I would have taken the cave any day..
@technicalside Ibiza!
Dayum! Dit lyk moerse mooi neh!!! Daai Lime pools is net iets anders 😍... Lief ons moet sometime soontoe gaan of net iewers in die wereld. ons kan nie virewig net in SA sit nie 🤣
Ibiza Ibiza!! 😀😀
Laughs! MR.B!! Still enjoying the holidays I see! Funnily enough we are watching a show that is based around Ibiza 😂..
Have you popped a pill yet xD xD xD hahaha nah just jookes
My pill popping days are long behind me! In the past I did indeed come here for the clubs. Now, I come for the sun, beaches and the shit caves 🤣🤣
Laughs! I suppose we are paddling the same boat! Getting old eyy.
However I can disagree on the caves.. They looks glorious🙃
They were quite nice actually. I think I was being grudging about the giant hike up and down to get to them!!
See this is also due to us getting old 😂. I saw all the walking you had to do, I would have slowed everyone down. Enjoy all the beautiful sunsets 😌
Wow such a beautiful place to visit. Great post.
Thank you, it was a delight to see!
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Very good, thanks.
You are most welcome
Great Words, love to read it.
Thank you mucker!
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Hi, as you just downvoted my posts without any explanation I will ask why on your blog.
Why?
I will also let you put the same answer I gave to your friend who also downvoted me.
This post is just about my progress in the Rising Star game, this is extremely common in the hive, not only of Rising Star but also of several other games like Splinterlands, Hashkings, dCITY and many other games.
Regarding votes I'm not forcing anyone to vote on my posts, but if people vote what can I do?
The main idea of hive is blogging to make money, if I am posting my content and people vote for it then I am not breaking any rules and if you read my post you will see that I am not offending anyone or doing anything that deserves a downvote.
Do you think it's right to use your "power" to decide what people should post in the community?. Because if the main idea is blogging to earn money and you just take all the hive reward from the author, I ask you the following question: if it's not to earn anything then why would people come to Hive?. It would be much easier to post on other platforms as they won't earn anything, at least they'll have more visibility.
I understand that my post doesn't have much value, but as I said before I'm just posting my progress in the game and there's nothing wrong with that and if people vote on my posts it's because they like it or at least observe a little effort on my part, because each progress post has changes showing my progress in the game, they are not the same so they are not spam.
Your downvote and those of your friends on my other posts were unnecessary and selfish. The hive was supposed to be decentralized, a platform where people could freely post anything as long as it didn't offend anyone or was illegal. Doing this sort of thing just makes you contribute to less people being interested in coming to Hive.
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Such a great post..
I really appreciate you and the photographs you have taken...
Really loved it bruh.
Well thank you very much!
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