I had just sat down at my desk in work, coffee in hand when my phone rang. I answered hello with my usual handsome baritone. A voice on the other end squawked
What?!? Who? Where? Why!
It was the good lady. Our daughter had been complaining of an itchy back and when she went to check it she saw the unmistakable signs of Chicken Pox.
I immediately grabbed my coat and headed for the exit in a blind panic. A dullard got in my way I barged him to the ground shouting MEDICAL EMERGENCY!!
The streets outside were thick with the daily smog and I could barely see a few feet in front of me. An old woman crouched on some filthy sail-cloth near the side of the road begging for spare change. I wrinkled my nose disapprovingly.
The clattering of hooves indicated the approach of a carriage. I pursed my lips and let forth a piercing whistle. The carriage pulled to a halt.
There was a large puddle between me and the door of the cab. I hurriedly shoved the beggar into mud and then used her as a stepping stone to avoid dirtying my fine leather shoes.
I barked my address to the driver..
I added for good measure.
The grime encrusted gremlin of a driver whipped the horses to a fine lather. I believe there were some guttural growls from the miserable fellow, perhaps an attempt at conversation? I refused to be drawn. One does not commune with the lower classes except out of dire necesstity such as those times you need to squeeze the badger.
In no time at all we arrived at my residence. The driver held out a grubby paw. I slapped it with my cane and then cracked it over his head as a life lesson to the wastrel.
Kicking the door open I breezed past the maid, throwing my cape expertly onto the coat rack. A brisk five minute walk bought me to my daughters rooms.
I strutted in, after all a gentleman should never skulk in his own manor.
The nanny was fussing around with hot towels. I found her to be distasteful and kicked her in the arse whillst shouting
Cradling my daughter in my arms I sobbed manfully.
Take my strength little wing take it and heal thine self!!
Perhaps that is how the ladies (and in this, I include the men) I work with, seemed to picture a reasonable reaction would be.
In reality the good lady phoned with the news and I sighed. Lordy, what a pain in the chuff. So I finished work early and arrived home with medicine and a 16 inch four cheese pizza.
My jubilant family carried me around the room several times on their shoulders with an exuberant joy then we got stuck in to the pizza.
That is how you do it!
:O)
I'm pretty sure they were carrying the pizza around and not you!
May the little one have a speedy recovery.
Dash it, you have seen right through me!! :OD
Ok, I'm stumped, I tried googling this and could find no reference to this phrase. Please tell me, what does it mean?
Indulging in the naughty naughty with the hairy denizens that live below the stairs (the servants) :OD
Hahahahaha!
What size super cape do you wear?
I have only two words for you: colloidal silver.
😄😇😄
Good grief, I had heard of silver but didn't realise there was such a thing you could buy!! I am intrigued.
Obviously my cape is a neat waist length affair. Well, at least my day cape is!
My understanding of Chicken Pox is that it is a viral infection?
Although I have not personally used it against "The Pox," I believe it ought to be marvelously effective.
I hope your night cape blooms out in glorious silver waves against the moonlit sky! ;)
Yes, a horrible virus that we pretty much all have. I am going to look into it more! (The silver thing)
Haha I see what you did there!! :0)
I would suggest putting some in a spray bottle and spraying the affected areas several times a day...
A very good idea
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My first time reading any of your posts. I can't even tell you how much I. LOVE. SARCASM. Following you @meesterboom!
Wayhay!!! That is excellent. Cheers!
Its human to sob sometimes and show emotion. Good post as usual, wish you success
It is indeed, a manful sobbing of course :OD
with lots of love in it isnt it? great guy
I couldn't agree more!
amen to that, thanks
My brother got a very weak case when he was young.
Ended up getting them twice lol
Man, it's far better to get a bad case then! I didn't tenner if I had them. Cue a call to my mum.
Mum, did I have chicken pox when I was young?
I don't know son, did you?
Sigh
Lol. Oh mom!
I know, I was like fucking hell, seriously!!
Is she single?
Haaaaahaaahahahaaaaaa!!
Nope! She is taken!!
Dang.
Yes, I like the medicine and 16 inch four cheese pizza ending better. Good job.
Yes I thought so too! When I mentioned it in work the reaction I received was ridiculous. I was like, hey, calm down. It will be ok!
Would you believe that I got chickenpox at the tender age of 18...I was working in Boots the Chemists up in Sauchiehall Street, I still fondly remember the oh so cutting Glasgow banter that my 18 year old self received when I came back covered in scabby scratch marks ;-)
Haha, I can imagine. 18, are you sure it wasn't the actual pox!! ;0)
not a good day is it
Nah, that's true. However there was pizza and getting away early. Silver linings and all that!
"Sobbed manfully" might be my favorite phrase of the month.
Wipe away those muscular tears...
Oh yes, nothing quite clears the system like a manful sobbing! :O)
You, sir, are a literary Mozart! at this rate, you will be retired by Christmas.
Keep it up ;)
Lol, I like that turn of phrase very much! Cheers man!!
Please sir, don't thrash the living daylights out of me with yer fine silver cane sir!
Lol!! Did you hear him!!
An odd question, you aren't in Australia are you?
Nope, i'm in sunny Yorkshire in the UK :)
Lol, I had to ask. I know a Nick Davidson you see,or rather I used to before he emigrated down under!
Hello fellow brit!
Lolz! Boom!
Yayy!! Cabs and a peasant being beaten, roundly cuffed by a gentleman's white gloved hand, cuffed i tell you!
But of course! Nothing is spared on the peasantry. He will thank me for it! :O)
Send round a bag of buns he was keeping for an occasion, but better given to his betters.
He might demand a thrashing daily to better himself!
love the images you added, could be a nice children book story
Cheers man!! You know, I have always fancied the idea of a children's story!
go for it mate
Hope she gets over it soon! I had the chicken pox...it's itchy but it passes. Wish her well soon :)
Yeah, shes a trooper, as long as she gets over it in time for us to fly on holiday I am fine :O)
When do you travel?
Next Wednesday!
She should be better by then! The most critical stage is when they are contagious. But if I am not mistaken, its usually before they even show symptoms. Take good care of her :)
We sure are and are hopeful that it will pass quickly!! Cheers m'dear!!
I've heard of strumpin' the pavement, but never squeezing the badger. Was going to ask, but read down a ways. Thanks be for the comment section. I learn almost as much there as I do from your daily language lessons. Give my best and some itch-cream to the wee one.
Cheers mate, the itch cream is on. Last night was such a trial though that I barely know who I am from lack of sleep. Oh dear!
Squeezing the badger lol. I might have made it up ;0)
Just show your story to the boss when she finds you face down, keyboard stuck to your face on the desk, instead of running those account numbers. Or better yet, just paste it on the door to your cubie so no one disturbs you. And if S.t.B. is yours, you should get ahold of Funk and Wagnalls ASAP.
Lol, it is mine but it is free for general use lol!
I am sure my boss will find the sight of me like that entertaining!!
Maybe a raise will be in order.
Ah, now someone is being truly funny!!!
We can always dream...
AHAHA! I will never get used to how awesome your recollection of events is, dude! My mind stopped processing the information after you asked the little wing to take your strength. I refuse to live in reality!!
It's just so fortunate that she caught it while she was young. I imagine it to be a real pain if she got it later in life. To the once and future Queen-Empress of the Holy Kingdom of Britannia, I wish you a speedy recovery! You have several countries to rule after all and we can't have chicken pox get in the way of it.
When I finally got around to processing the remaining parts, I can't stop laughing when I picture them carry you on their shoulders haha! My ribs ache whenever I chortle!!
Hehe, it just flowed out of me when I was recurving all the well wishes and heartfelt concern over her in work. I was like man it's cool!
You are right though, she couldn't fall prey to that when older. Are will have a world to rule!! :0D
It's always when the loved ones are involved when the solid gold ideas flow out. I wouldn't want to wish harm on anyone, so I choose to wish good things to happen so that you would be inspired to write more of these wonderful entries!!
And I always hope for good things for you too dude!
Nice story and very creative use of images and markup! Thanks for sharing.
Thank you very much. I find that a post is so much better with some creative formatting!!
Love it! What a good-fun post. Admittedly, I've done the panic-run-cry thing when my youngest ate a bag of silica.
Wow, yeah. That would be a definite and justified case of panic!! Have they been dry ever since? ;0)
LOL! No, it was a small bag, but potty training was quick.
haha quality post....keeps getting better, very funny stuff
My wee lass just had a does of them, doens't take long...hope wee ones better soon
I am reassured by your words! It seems to be getting better slightly already yay!
So funny ... I was hoping that you were joking ... and you were.
What really gets me is how the media these days treats measles ... like it is Ebola! They tell you where the infected person ate, travelled, on and on ...
I'm like, what?! Everybody had their turn at measles when I was a child and it was no national disaster.
This world gets crazier and crazier.
But seriously, one day they just might treat chickenpox like it is Ebola too, as soon as people's memories start to fade of how it was such a mild normal childhood illness.
Exactly. Everyone around me was making sad faces and practically offering condolences and I was like pah, its just a minor thing. Will put some lotion on and boom she will be better in no time!
haha great post. Hope she gets better!
She is coping remarkably well the little trooper! Cheers mate!
I still think it would have been appropriate if you had sobbed manfully as well...
I am saving them for a special occasion!! Man tears are precious! ;0)
Hahaha... man your style of writing is so funny! :DDD
Mr.handsome baritone.
Well.. at least you've got some pizza!
It's already been 9 days.. hope she got better (not pizza)!
She did, she got better really quickly!
Good health to the little one!
Thank you, I did. :0)