Alright mate!
Some tufty-haired type standing next to me at the Gymboree said with a welcoming smile.
I turned to see in greater detail who could be annoying me. Oh great, a fucking Dad bastard. Magic. What had I done to deserve this? I gave him a terse nod and hoped he would go away.
He didn't. He was smiling and hanging about as if he was expecting an answer. For fuck sake. Oh well, I decided to be a bit more charitable and reply.
Aye, am alright. You?
I'm good mate, thanks for asking.
I decided not to mention how he had practically made me ask him and instead half turned away from him so I could watch the Little Boom run around like a loon at this Birthday party thing we were at.
That thing being Gymboree - a big padded hall with padded gym equipment. The kind of thing you would build for your Baboons if you were a millionaire Michael Jackson sort. Minus the sex machines of course.
This is great isn't it? The little ones get so much out of it. Oh look, that's my little one there! Hi Ryan!
He waved at some fat grub rolling around the floor. The grub waved back, blubbering something like Daddy, look at me!!
Grub-Daddy beamed with pride as he watched his child roll around the floor.
I must admit, I am not at my best. The wee one was up several times last night.
Grub-Daddy motioned at the grub rolling around on the floor as if I were to presume that this was the wee one and he wasn't affectionately referring to his tadger
Aye, I am a bit tired myself. Stayed up till about two getting pished on Whisky. It was fucking marvellous.
I shrugged my shoulders in the way of men who drink whisky and ride horses. Oh, oh my. I haven't had a drink for seven years. Grub-Daddy looked around surreptitiously before leaning in and speaking in a lower voice. I gave up drinking when we decided to start trying for a baby. He pulled back and looked somewhat smug as if this were some incredible achievement. I didn't want to rain on his parade but in my experience getting drunk had never been an impediment to getting someone pregnant. Quite the opposite. Still, we didn't all have my manful jizzum. I nodded at him absentmindedly. I wasn't sure what more to say to Grub-Daddy. Scottish people who don't drink make me feel uneasy. Like watching old dudes get excited when they talk about Nigella Lawson. When you see them having such good fun it makes it all seem worth it, doesn't it? Grub-Daddy's face shone with happiness as if he suspected he was being watched on a nanny cam. I dunno, probably not worth quitting drinking for. I attempted a chuckle but it came out like a fart from a dying dog. Grub-Daddy snorted in agreement before snapping rigidly to attention and shaking his head vigorously. We have never been happier so it was a small price to pay. He sniffed and looked off into the distance. There was a tinge of sadness in his gaze and I found myself fumbling for something reassuring to say. Well, Ryan looks about four so I suppose years of shagging would make up for not drinking. There, good deed done. I folded my arms smugly. Grub-Daddy looked at me strangely. There weren't lots of shags. He chewed his jaw back and forth as if there was a history he was desperate to unload on me. I nodded wisely. Ah well. No luck. I patted him on the shoulder and headed off to the coffee machine. Hopefully the bitter old pish that it served would be better than Grub-Daddy's conversation. I hate parents.
Although I don't have a horse. However, one could argue that neither do I have a cow and yet I still drink milk. So there.
Good grief! Tell him researchers found that the antioxidants from grapes in wine and Xanthohumol — a compound found in beer hops — could actually safeguard cells from damage and improve sperm quality.
So there. Keep on boozing it up!
On another note. no increased shagging and no drinking?
FOUL!
Thats a fantastic bit of research there! That promotes drink shagging for the pregnancies!!
Yes, he had haunted eyes. I knew there would be a tale coming of difficulties and paion. Whcih would have been fine had I actually knew him! Instead it was cheap coffee and cake that gave me indigestion :OD
It does! I skipped the one about how you should stop drinking 6 months before trying to procreate.
Next time, skip the coffee and cake!
It's a wonder your ears don't bleed!
Selective research is the only research with it's salt in this century!!
I had to do something to pass the time whilst the Little Book ran around!
No wonder there are so many little Booms running around the subways.
It does answer that question nicely, doesn't it?
Not just the subways, under the floors everywhere!!
Quitting drinking because you decided to have a child is science fiction right?
If they are sentences spoken by a man then I would say that we are right in the field of conspiracy!
this father should know that as the good Humphrey Bogart said... The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
It should be science fiction. Or even fantasy, it's no excuse whatsoever!!
That's a good Bogart one, I didn't know it!
What's better than a nice drink in good company?
Nothing!! That's my happy thing!
Mine too!
Top notch!!
I'll have to remember the coffee escape. Don't want to talk to people, go get coffee 🤣
I don't drink often, but I'm not sure I'll be able to give up my beer every now and then 🤔. Children are hard work, a drink every now and then might be useful for the soul 😅
I don't know how annoying can become a parent and not drink. It's insane to even consider!! :0D
Gave up drinking? Fucking loser
My thoughts exactly! :OD
Oh my goodness I didn't know that in Scotland they call the male member "tatger" thanks Mr. @meesterboom for the good illustration.
And well everywhere we get that kind of "father" who gloats over what he has next to him or on top of him.
Have the best possible day.
Haha, it is a coarse expression but yes it is fairly popular!!
I managed to escape without further engagement with him so I am happy!
And that is the best way to keep us in a state of happiness, letting go of what does not work for us and sending it far away, so we can move forward, well done ...
Here we also have other very rude and some of them even sound funny to call "Mr. Virility". jajajaj
I live a rude word or two. It spices up the day! 🙂
hahaha, that really is part of the folklore and belonging to your country and one laughs, in fact, I say them when the situation warrants it. 😄
I refuse to believe you do... :0D
🤣 I do it when I'm alone to myself Mr. @meesterboom you are right, I am very careful not to say them out loud...you are already getting to know me. Thank you 🌹
"Fish pee in the water" my brother taught me (lot more crap today) stick with beer, whisky or wine you know you keeping above board all the time!
Better warn em, they will seek that whisky soon as the yelling little brat arrives for hand outs for the rest of his life!
Daily dose of life, missed you of late @meesterboom 🙃
Hello milady!!!
I was out of action with all them festivities! All back to normal now, worse luck.
He cant last without the whisky. Parenting is too hard to do alone, lol!
Always need a little assistance to rev motor up, Vooma to get going...
Any assistance is good assistance!
Yeah! Enjoy....
Fat grub you say, we likes fat tasty grubs.
Haha!
Fat grubsss isss good for tummiesss!!
:OD
A man of fine tastes, I can tell.
It’s funny how Scotland seems so much friendlier than the assholes on the east coast across the pond over here. Bunch of miserable fucks and no one likes to chat. I don’t look forward to awkward conversations like this though! Lol. Poor sober shit with a little runt running around. Some nights to have a drink are the best even if it’s a work night!
Yeah, despite my descriptions of the shittier types of folk we are quite a friendly bunch and nights out are generally quite the fun spectacle!
A pox on miserable fucks everywhere! :OD
Hahaha! This non-parent sure has to laugh about all this.
Also I learnt a new synonym for penis, in the process.
Cheers!
And rightly so!! I would relish all of those non-parent moments because some of the parent ones suck!!
There shall be an exam on these slang terms at the end of the year... :0D
Isn't 'slang' slang for ... too?
( It's Dutch for snake, after all )🐍
Aaah! I didn't know that so yes, it would be!!
Slang as far as the eye can see!!
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BEER.Hey @meesterboom, here is a little bit of
BEERfrom @isnochys for you. Enjoy it!Learn how to earn FREE BEER each day by staking your
BEER.I have also seen some parents who do not care or take care of their children at all. I remember my childhood, our parents raised us very lovingly. Children are everything to parents. The greatest effort of a father is to give good education to his children and make them good human beings. When I become a father, I will also try to train my child well.
I am sure you will. I was one of those left to run wild. I try my best not to let the same happen to mine but at the same time I try not to bore random strangers with it, lol!! :0D
Sounds like a boring party - at least for the chaperones! Maybe the next one won't be for a while!
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There is only a small number of birthdays at this time of year thankfully. Might be some respite!!!
Sounds good :) There really needs to be something good for the parents to do while the kids party 🤣
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A line of shots and topless bargirls would be ideal but potentially not very practical :OD
!PIZZA !
🤣🤣🤣 the controversy it would cause would be great entertainment!
!PIZZA
Hehe, most definitely!
They say vodka kills sperms, but I am not sure :)
The next time I am serving it up to guests (vodka that is) I shall be sure to add a little something to their glasses and verify if that is the case! :OD
Sounds like a typical scottish day out!
I wonder... Could we open a soft play with a bar... we really could make those little sloth buzz...
I can only imagine the popularity of such a thing. I might actually find myself enjoying those morning visits more, lol!
It's always awkward with the dads. I get on better with the mums.
Ha!
I do get on quite well with the mums too. Sometimes too well :0D
Sssslut!
🤣
Own it.
Also, has anyone ever told you that you look like Logolas of the woodland realm? You do.
Laughs dude, what a crappy situation to be in.
I can't say the same for other people but if I speak to someone that doesn't want to do small talk, the look om their face is very clear.. So why can't people leave you the fuck alone when you're presenting that look😂😂
I am the same, if I try and someone isn't slightly interested them I back off. I don't try to force them to be my new friend!
Some models just seem to be a bit fucked ey 😂...
I blame the pride movements... Lels
Lol. There are just some that need babied through life!!
I hate it when parents praise their children all the time. Yes, he's cute, yes, he looks very happy. Mm-hmm, that's right.
And yeah alcohol doesn't decrease the probabllity. It increases for sure XD
Yeah, I like to be even handed when discussing my own. If they are acting like terrors or eating dirt I will happily say , look at the state of these! Some others though will praise them to the high heavens. Madness!!
They think they are cute! No dude, your child is eating Dirt and that ain't be cute. You should go and stop him. Not talk to me.
They let their children run amok too. The ones that break things and built others and they think they are just being individuals!
They're so stupid, man. They're really stupid. There's nothing worse than an irresponsible parent.
Something happens to some folk when they become parents. Their brain short circuits 🙂
If only you had your trusty hip flask at that moment.
Tip back a trickle of the good stuff. Then ... "I'd offer you a bit, but you gave it up. Cheers mate."
I need to find the damn thing. It probably needs a good wash and bought into action!
Sounds like he was desperate for some applause for his sacrifice and achievement. I get the whole proud parent thing, but realised that nobody is that impressed that I managed to father a child along with millions of other men. We all thing our offspring are the best. Best not to be a dad bore.
!BEER
There are many of the Dad bores out there. I don't know what happens to people at times. Its a kid, no more no less!
!BEER back atcha Mr Steve!
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BEER.Sigh...I felt like having a drink after reading this, the guy sounds about as interesting as my toe nail clippings. Good thing you walked away or it could have turned into a lecture.
I have experienced enough of those lectures to make a pre-emptive exit. Cant stand people who just want to hear their own yap yap!
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You know, there's a town in Middle Earth, just outside the Shire, in which there is a healthy trade in toe nail clippings.
I would think that a person would want to drink more whiskey after becoming a parent not less 🤔
I definitely agree. Something which I strive to achieve!! You need something to blot out the horror :0D
Yeah it's kind of like saying, I stopped drinking alcohol after I started working...
Haha, exactly so!! And that is a rare thing indeed. Speaking of which, I start back properly tomorrow. Blegh
Booooooo
And it is every inch as bad as I thought it might be. Double boo!
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Ta very much!
It's to make up for grub-daddy. :)
Hehe, well it certainly did! :O)
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