Upgrade Your Life: Drop The Victim Mentality

in #life7 years ago (edited)

I’m rather intrigued to see how this post will be received. Could go well… we will see.

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Rpg Life

In life, we assume different roles in order to achieve different goals. At a young age, we assume the role of the student. As we get older we become an adult, possibly an employee and maybe one day we become a parent. With each new role we assign ourselves new qualities, responsibilities and behavioral characteristics.

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Why is this important?

Why am I devoting my time to discuss this topic? These roles can be beneficial, they help us understand our place on society, navigate social constructs and simplify our decision making by giving us behavioral patterns to function off of … yet, they can also be incredibly detrimental.

When our roles become constrictive they can hold us back, limit our self expression and control our lives in ways that are often hard to consciously assess.

Let me dive a bit deeper. I will share a personal anecdote to help display this concept.

A Piece Of My Story

As a child I was rather frustrated and angry. I came in to a world that I saw as deeply flawed. Injustice and inequality were rampant, greed and hatred seemed to be the qualities that led to power and control … it suffices to say that I disliked what I saw and I was not happy. I felt I was on the losing side of the equation and I didn’t know what to do about it. I grew up with less money than most of my friends, “fewer” opportunities (only in my mind) and I was angry and jealous. I felt like I had been dealt and unfair hand and I wanted what I thought was due to me.

/Disconnect

At first I figured if the cards were stacked against me I simply wouldn’t play the game. I removed myself from society and created a world in my imagination. It worked … for a time. Eventually the world broke through … my carefully constructed reality was shattered by responsibilities and obligations. My inability to accept the life of the begging pauper forced me to exert myself. I decided to play the game again … and again, I was not happy. I lived with a grimace on my face. Unhappy that I was “falling into their trap” but unable to create an alternative to their options, my disgust for myself and the world continued to grow.

Writing My Own Rules

Time went on, and as we all do, I grew wiser. I realized that if I was going to play their game I might as well do it in a manner that served me. I grew smarter. I played by my own rules, things were starting to look up. Yet, time and time again, I noticed that I was walking around with a chip on my shoulder. I carried this notion that I had been wronged, that I was a victim and that I deserved some kind of remuneration for my hardships. At first I ignored this, and then for a period of time I believed it, but finally I asked myself “why am I feeling this way” … the answer would shock me.

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Living Life As A Victim

I was feeling this way because I wanted to. Giving myself the label of “victim” was an instant get out of jail free card. My new business venture failed? It’s their fault. I wasn’t happy with my life? I don’t need to exert myself to create change because the cards have been stacked against me. I continued to play out this role because it had created a shelter for my ego. It gave me an imaginary rock to hide behind when life became challenging.

The Beginnings Of A Change

Seeing this I knew I needed to make a change. If I continued to exist in this way I knew that I would never really succeed, never really grow into the person that I knew I could become. It was scary at first, walking through life without this coat of armor that I had carried for so long … but ultimately I knew it was for the best. I stopped wearing this grimace of anger and frustration. I stopped blaming others for my own shortcomings. My life became my own, and I took FULL responsibility it. It was a challenge at times but an incredibly rewarding one.

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It’s Time To Grow Up Boys And Girls

I challenge you to question your own self definitions. Look into the shadows of your mind. What are you hiding from yourself? When we ask ourselves these questions in earnest we are given a truthful answer. Don’t worry if you are not ready, you will only be given a burden that you are capable of bearing.

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Great article. I can totally relate. I have lived my life the same way. I too have broken out of that. It is great to hear someone else's story who thinks the same way I do. We are introverts . The world is run by extraverts. If you look into this deeper, you will understand why you feel the way you do. I wish we could have figured this out at a young age.

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That good article really informative

EXCELLENT INFORMATION, LIFE IS VERY DIFFICULT TO SOME PEOPLE. BUT WE CAN NEED SOME RELAX IN THIS HEALTH WAY,, GREETINGS FROM VENEZUELA ..https://steemit.com/intruduceyourself/@wendyth16/hola-comunidad-de-steemit-mi-nombre-es-wendyth-hurtado

I wasn't happy with my life? I don't need to work hard to create changes because the cards have piled up against me... I continued to play this role because I had created a haven for my ego. He gave me an imaginary rock to hide behind when life became challenging.

this is similar to what it means to me to stay in a comfort zone, where you simply hide yourself from the changes you can experience, whether it be for fear, for comfort or any other circumstance that surrounds you, getting out of this hole is not easy, but there is no stronger force than yours, you can make great leaps in our lives, excellent reflection friend, thank you very much.
Excuse my English, I use a translator.

 7 years ago  Reveal Comment