Does she not know it's manly to stink? It's the culmination of hard work and honest working class graft ......alcohol is also the best way to kill bacteria, why do you think anti COVID gels and hand cleaners contain so much of it?
You should make her watch Jordan thingy videos and and buy her an online science course for her birthday. Another good tip might be to use your time in bed constructively and make the kids some fake ID so they can be sent to the Coop and sneakily buy your weekly Tennant's ration although with it being Glasgow, they might not need the ID.
I offer you every sympathy my friend, get well slowly and best wishes! If life becomes too unbearable , Thailand awaits. If you're NOT a stinky foreigner, you're viewed with suspicion!
I have put forward that very argument in favour of alcohol myself!!
I can imagine her face if I made her watch one of those Jordan thingy dude's videos, she saw one and hates the guy with a passion. In fact it was one of the very rare times she has used the cunt word! :OD
You need ID but if you go to the chemist you can get the Tennents on prescription ;O)