“Did this guy take a camera with him? Seriously? Here? Today?”- I thought, moving up in the scariest elevator in my life. He noticed my strange looks and smiled sweetly at me. It was strange. Although, no stranger than everything that happens today.
The elevator stopped. It was the sneaky elevator that knows how to open doors from two sides. Therefore, my strategy to look confident and go forward with broad steps didn’t pay off. A broken step, I mumble softly to myself, I'm like a virgin in a brothel. The nurse and the guy with the camera smiled at me again with their strange cute smiles.
A long bright corridor, 13 doors on both sides. Somewhere behind this door is my wife, and the wife of this camera-dude. Very quietly, or I can't hear anything from excitement, I try to focus on the nurse so as not to miss a single word.
- Here is your ward. They are already waiting for you. - She said, stopping in front of the door with the number 3.
Well, in many cultures, this is a lucky number. The videoman nods at me like we've been through some shit and it's time to say goodbye. This is a stingy gesture of male separation, without unnecessary words. But, we understand that all the shit is still ahead. However, looking at his camera, I'm not sure that he understands.
Inside the ward my wife looks cheerful and scared, she got here an hour before me. I can't understand what scares her more, the upcoming event or the nurse next to the bed- T.M. How can a nurse scare you? For a long time I couldn't understand where I had seen T.M. before... until I remembered the Goblin King from the Hobbit movie. Damn it, I often joke and exaggerate, but trust me, if you put them side by side, you will think that they are identical twins.
T. M. even bypassed him in some parameters. At the time of our meeting, she was undergoing a course of replacement of dentures, so her teeth simply were not exist. But this didn't stop her from the habit of constantly smiling and laughing. We chose this strange woman a month ago and paid a lot of gold to the clinic to keep her close today.
- Hey, honey! Did you hear the kittens, walking down the corridor? - What? What kittens? Maybe my wife has already been injected with painkillers.
- Oh, yes, they really meow like kittens when they appear! – T.M. reaffirming solidarity with my wife by her shocking smile.
- No, I didn't hear any kittens on the way here, dear. - If there were kittens here, T.M. ate them all…What is it, what kind of feminine tricks to tease panicked men?
- Oh, it's okay, they'll start appearing soon. Usually after lunch and in the evening. There were a couple of them now, but they probably have already been taken away. - The Supreme Goblin rattled.
Okay, I'll solve this mystery later, now we have more important things to do. The goblin left the premises, leaving us alone. Each of us felt less scared. Each of us tries to look brave for each other.
After 8 hours, no one looks brave or confident, we do not look at all. My wife is sleeping under painkillers. T. M. sat down next, to one of these soft floor chairs that take the shape of your body. I can't imagine how exactly this chair could take her form... it violates the physical laws of the Universe.
Everyone is asleep except me. It's a little uncomfortable to sleep on a round bar chair without a back. It turned out that only in our ward there is no sofa, and I don’t risk waking the supreme goblin to ask for a little comfort.
The corridor outside the door begins to fill with voices and sounds. And these are not kittens at all. Moans and sighs grow, sometimes someone screams. In about an hour, this reaches a climax. It was as if all 12 wards, except ours, were synchronized to let me hear everything. Indistinct muttering turns into pleas for help:
"Please, is there anyone here? It hurts me!". "Can someone help me?"- comes from the other side. "Mom, momy. Kill me somebody".
This is shouted by those, who didn’t want to take goblins into the team, or could not pay for their services with gold. They decided to overcome it themselves. After all, we made the right decision and we were very lucky with T. M.
At some point, the screams of pain and despair begin to be drowned out by other sounds. This is something new, strange, good and pleasant… I don't have time to think about the associations, because my wife wakes up and starts her part in this strange concert. T. M. begins to lead, I obediently follow all instructions, trying to be only in a certain place, so we agreed.
I barely remember the next 4 hours. But one moment will stay with me forever. One moment that changed my life. I am holding my newborn son in my arms. He opens his eyes a little and makes his first sounds - this is the sound of a kitten…
It is a life changing moment indeed!!! Was this a past reminiscence it did it happen just now? Either way, congratulations!
Six months ago. Thank you, my friend! :) My wife and I were really thinking about whether I should be present at the birth. Women's sacrament and all that.. But I have never regretted that I was there from the beginning to the end :)
I have been in exact same circumstances and never regretted it either. It's a fabulous thing!!
Undoubtedly! In the first few hours, they smell like fresh bread and milk, an indescribable smell :) Damn, for almost a month I went to take these unpleasant PCR tests, so as not to miss the moment.
All I know about kids is they won't talk to me until they're about 7 and then they won't stfu up. Well that and they're little germ infested specimens who don't forget anything and hold grudges forever.
This is very apt, they are!
Well, your knowledge is correct :) There are still many other unpleasant "options" when you live with them all the time. But these little people are able to erase your memories like MIB.
I'm one of the few who doesn't have kids amongst my friends. Though I can't share what you feel, I haven't met a child yet who won't leave me alone! Two of my buddies kids went out and got their passports just cuz Pura and I were traveliving. We're cool like that.
I do however get to witness each of my parent friends stop themselves and begin their children and it's fascinating to watch. Seeing their life from my point of view had its perks.
Yikes, those test are annoying and horrible.
That is a very accurate description of how the little things smell!
I've got goose bumps from reading this. Congratulations to you both!
Thank you for your congratulations and reading!
I still get goose bumps too, when I remember this :D
Yay! 🤗
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