I've been rebuilding my life, or at least trying and working towards something better, since the day I showed up almost six years ago. Didn't want to just sit here and dwell on the past. Discovered entertaining people not only put my mind in a healthy state but it was also contributing to their wellbeing. Going from being a complete mess and being someone nobody wanted to be around to what I managed to accomplish here over the years; it saved my life. Here's another one.
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Interesting that entertaining people helped like that. I hadn't looked at it from that perspective.
Extensive hard work accomplished there. Time well spent, always. I find it gets to a point in doing this kind of journey, this kind of work, that what is the past, becomes like an old story that has very little impact. There are always things to attend to, since it's an ongoing process.
I get the impression that you have a very big energy, such as the kind of person who walks into a room and their energy fills the space, if you know what I mean.
Thanks for the link, I'll take a read. I'm enjoying this, especially since I'm not the one selecting the order of reading and it flows better this way.
I do know what you mean by that energy stuff but it's hard to describe. It can be a real pain in the ass sometimes. Still, I can walk down the busiest street and remain invisible. It's kind of fun because I'm the only one walking with my eyes up. Most stare at the ground taking their surroundings for granted; or they'll look right through you. That's my take on it anyway.
I had the feeling you would know what I meant. Words are very limiting in trying to describe such things. I certainly struggle to attempting to express such things in words.
This does not surprise me in the least. It's a simple matter of altering one's energy. It is fun, lol. Here it's more of the "look right through you" more than the "stare at the ground". Direct eye contact is at times, an invitation to things one doesn't want, given the environment of this place. I tend to look more through my peripheral vision here, but if not in this city, that shifts to more direct eye contact.
LOL well yeah. I'm not out there giving people the creepy stare. Just paying attention. Usually I'll notice those who bring problems with them before they notice me, then go into blend in mode. They stand out. Other times those encounters can turn out to be pretty interesting. Just have to keep your cool.
I used to wait for a bus shortly after midnight every night, standing in front of Canada Place on Jasper Ave. in Edmonton. Met all types.
Was thinking about that energy stuff a little more. Easy to sit there and entertain a large group, but usually it's spontaneous. If someone is expecting it, doesn't really work like that. I don't really prefer to be center of attention and noticed I often annoy the types who do. So I try to curb that enthusiasm a bit. Still difficult to describe though.
Ha! I didn't picture the creepy stare. I pictured the paying attention. Can you do creepy? Somehow I am not picking that vibe up.
Yes, crucial aspect.
I've never been to Edmonton. I would have thought you've met all types, since I had that impression already, reinforced by reading the last post you linked me with.
Interesting about the expecting aspect. Expecting anything is a path of many let downs.
Difficult to describe but very clear to me from similar experience of my own. Add into that some hefty fear for me at being the center of attention. Long time working with that one.