In the year 2018, my father passed away he was a patient of cancer disease. suddenly one morning I just got a call from my mother saying he is gone. I remember when I was in the university I did not speak a single a word to my father despite all the labour and struggle he had always been for me.
We had some difference of opinion. Loving father, so upset with him for 2 years and just before I came to have the Krishna movement and later joined the monastery just a couple of month before that, my father came and felt at my feet, crying and begging ‘‘son please, son speak to me’’ I still remember those words.
I Remember ignoring that request, my mum said ‘‘son, he is your dad don’t do that to him please” and just because my mother said, I started talking to him and in couple of weeks’ l left home to become a monk, just after I started talking to him every single year from the 2005 until 2018 I went home to see my parents and I wanted to say ‘‘sorry Dad, I shouldn’t have done this to you’’ and whenever I went home, there is a 3 letter word called EGO that told me you were right, why do you have to say sorry?. I remember that word EGO. I just couldn’t say it.
That morning when I received a call from my mum that my father had left. even in the year 2018 just before coming to England I had gone to see my dad, thinking I will say sorry to him. I didn’t and her reality turned very much appreciative of the work I did and he was seeking for my recording of talks, my love towards him and all of the staff, neither did I know these were the last days of seeing him a gain. And I got back to England, and just month time I received this phone call that he has gone.
I went for the funeral. I remember putting my head at Dads feet for the one final last time, dropping a few unseen tears, who nobody would ever know. Until I wrote this story to you and in those tears saying, “Dad am very sorry, I shouldn’t have done this to you, I shouldn’t have done this to you”.
You never know how long people are with us. And you cannot take a chance to mess up with most amazing experience of love just because something happened.
Ladies and gentlemen forgiveness is the foundation of a meaningful, deep, true relationship to let go if somebody has hurt Us and to say sorry if we hurt somebody and letting things go is what makes relationship profound, meaningful and deep.
Which is why I say, when you sorry, it doesn’t mean that you are wrong, it does means that you value the person and the relationship more than being right. You have to choose what do you want, being right or love and if you want love sometimes you have to say sorry even if you are right.*
thanks you for being with me until the end
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