My condolances and all the best to you.
It can still feel like a flaw in the fabric of the universe sometimes, this dying of friends.
I can't get used to it and I can't help wishing there were someone to blame, someone at whom I could direct my anger and desperation. There rarely is, so I find myself cursing everything, but there is no getting even, no point in anger, only the meek acceptance of grief and comfort of friends to offer consolation.
that's exactly as you said. we friends of the lost one feel sad but also more close each other