I want to say first of all that I did not come up with this list. I didn't write it. I wish I had!
No, I read it on Facebook when a friend posted it there this morning. But being a total word nerd and editor for more years than many of you have been alive, I had to share it.
It is perfect!
Grammar Terms
As a freelance editor it's good to know these grammar terms: passive voice, mixed metaphors, intransitive verbs, hyperbole, tense, figures of speech, run-on sentences, clichés, punctuation marks, and on and on.
So, this is a post on what it takes to be a freelance editor. No, it's fun. Plain and simple. And if most (or all) of these little gems give you a giggle, you're probably a word nerd like me.
This list is a gem, hitting on most of these grammar terms in the most delightful way, as Mary Poppins would say.
A ... Walks into a Bar
A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
A question mark walks into a bar?
A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."
A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
A synonym strolls into a tavern.
At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.
The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
A dyslexic walks into a bra.
A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.
A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.
~ Author unknown
MORE of My Freelance Editing Posts
Freelance Editing Post 1: Offer to Edit for Free
How to Write Website Bibliographies
And another just for fun:
Daily Contests on Steemit -- My Favorite So Far
Hi! I am a robot. I just upvoted you! I found similar content that readers might be interested in:
https://www.facebook.com/ChrisBrecheensWritingAboutWriting/posts/1470003979775566
Thank you, @cheetah! Word fun is good fun!
Hola @peggyhazelwood, upv0t3
Este es un servicio gratuito para nuevos usuarios de steemit, para apoyarlos y motivarlos a seguir generando contenido de valor para la comunidad.
<3 Este es un corazón, o un helado, tu elíges .
: )
N0. R4ND0M:
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Okay, I have no idea what that means, but thanks for dropping by, @upv0t3!
Having fun with words is fun. Peggy . 😃
It is! These had me in stitches!
Love all of these. Thanks for sharing!
Aren't they fun? I wish I'd thought of them!
@peggyhazelwood,
These were so funny! I read these to my older daughter. These were her favorites:
"The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense."
and
"A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony."
The latter took us a while, but when we got it, we laughed pretty hard.
And I just had to share on Facebook, because I knew that my grammar-loving friends would enjoy it immensely! :-)